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Wrestling Today's Date:

um...not that I've ever actually WATCHED 7th Heaven...
Chair Shots

11-12-02

Raw Thoughts
Raw was good this week but I'm no longer sure how on the mark my judgment is. Was it really good, or was it just "no one had sex with a corpse" good? I'm leaning towards the former.

The show opened with an ok tag match. Rob Van Dam & Kane defeated Chris Jericho & Christian via D.Q. The tag ranks continue to suck, but the point of the match was really to get Jericho's state of mind over for this Sunday's main event. Mission accomplished.

I would have expected Jeff Hardy vs. Lance Storm to have been better. Storm is a great in-ring worker and Hardy has his spectacular moves, but they just didn't seem to click. I'm going to blame Jeff for this one. He's been using the same moves for a while now and they have worn thin.

Bautista squashed D-Low and Victoria squashed Terri. Bautista needs a bigger push. He's got an awesome look but they are just treading water with him. Victoria, on the other hand, needs to do fewer promos.

Three Minute Warning defeated Bubba & Spike Dudley. Another filler match with the larger goal of setting up a match for this Sunday.

Chris Nowinski beat Al Snow and Maven did the ugliest run-in at the end that I can recall. Everyone back to class. When it comes to Al Snow, I stick to the old adage, "Those who can't, teach." (Somewhere in the world, an Al Snow fan just threw his mouse at the monitor.)

Randy Orton interrupted the show with another RNN news update. How long can these go on and still be amusing? Orton isn't coming back for another two months!

The return of Shawn Michaels has caused me a great deal of excitement and at the same time it perplexes me. We all know that Shawn is a legend in the ring and has the charisma and personality outside the ring that we all crave. However, since his return he's put more than a healthy dose of religion into his promos.

Now historically wrestling fans have been trained to boo false prophets that spoke of God and saving our souls. Brother Love and Reverend D-Von are the stereotype religious figures that writers and wrestling promoters have used to garner our wrath. Fans really had no objection to that. We're not folks that like to be preached to, regardless of our actual religious beliefs.

Now, I may lose about half of my readership for saying this, but every time I see Shawn Michaels wearing a "Praise Jesus" tee shirt or hear him start talking about God granting him strength I can't help but roll my eyes and think about what a dweeb Shawn has become. If I wanted to watch religious television programming then I'd watch 7th Heaven. I tune into Raw to see one man fight another for a title belt and to learn hip new slang like "SUCKA!"

I'm all for the return of Shawn Michaels and I'm glad God will give him the strength to kill Triple H this weekend, but can he please tone it down a bit? You don't hear me bragging about how I break the commandments all the time, now do you? (actually, I do -- Derek)

Triple H pinned Booker in the main event which was followed by a 5 man scrum to push this Sunday's main event. When you make a list of the most wasted talent on the WWE roster, Booker T has to be near the top of it. He's got the look, the skill and the fan base and yet the WWE continues to job him out to "bigger" stars and saddle him with lackluster storylines. If the WWE wants to show that they are interested in building up new top level starts and top feuds then Booker T needs to walk out of Survivor Series with the World Title.

Raw Injuries
Justin Credible wrestled Tommy Dreamer last night in a dark match and was injured. Credible landed wrong on a spinebuster and the match was immediately stopped. He is doing fine today. Way to avoid permanent paralysis, Justin.

Ivory was also injured last night during a dark match with Jaqueline. She suffered a serious lip injury (don't giggle) that needed a plastic surgeon.

Super-Tuesday
Tune into UPN tonight following Buffy to see "WWE Super Tuesday" The show will feature 3 pre-taped matches and hype this Sunday's PPV. Matches include a Triple Threat Match (Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit), a 10-man tag (Triple H, Y2J, Christian, Rosey & Jamal vs. Kane, Booker T, RVD, Bubba Ray & Jeff Hardy), and an interpromotional bikini contest (Trish vs. Torrie).

I can't begin to tell you how the word "interpromotional" next to the words "bikini contest" make it seem that much more thrilling.

WWF vs. WWE: Round 2
As if losing the right to call itself the World Wrestling Federation wasn't enough, the World Wildlife Fund is taking the WWE back to court. The WWF claims that WWE has caused extensive damage to their brand name.

WWE is calling the latest WWF suit "offensive" and feels that it is "unprecedented" for a charity organization to pull something like this. This is one of those things I love about being a wrestling fan. When the shows suck, the behind the scenes stuff is so much more entertaining.

Date a Wrestler
I meant to tell you about this on Friday, but got so busy reading fan mail it slipped my mind. It's WWE week on Blind Date! Here is the full line up for this week's episodes.

Monday November 11th Christopher Nowinski
Tuesday November 12th Nidia
Wednesday November 13th Jackie Gayda
Thursday November 14th Linda Miles
Friday November 15th Maven

I don't think I'll be able to watch. It's just too heartbreaking to see Maven cheat on Torrie.

Can I Get a Suggestion of a "Has Been" Female Wrestler That Looks Like a Man But You'd Still Have Sex With?
Chyna will be appearing this Friday on ABC's Whose Line Is It Anyway?. Please note that this marks the first occasion where the title of the news item is larger than the actual news item. I'd also like to thank the three people that got that joke for reading.

Good News/Bad News for NWA:TNA
Jerry and Jeff Jarrett recently sold much of NWA:TNA to Panda Energy. Rumor has it now that had a deal not gone through to sell TNA, the company would have closed. I told you that charging 10 dollars a week for PPV wrestling without a free show to promote it was bad business. Who's da man??

Ratings
Last week's Smackdown finished with a 3.6 rating that is up from the 3.3 it did the previous week. Tough Enough scored a 1.3 cable rating, up .3 from the previous week. Raw rating is delayed due to the Monday holiday.

That's it for this week. Join me again on Friday with a mop of up the week's happenings and Survivor Series predictions.

Michael Goodson

 

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