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um...not
that I've ever actually WATCHED 7th Heaven...
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Chair Shots
11-12-02
Raw
Thoughts
Raw was good this week but I'm no longer sure how on the mark
my judgment is. Was it really good, or was it just "no one
had sex with a corpse" good? I'm leaning towards the former.
The show
opened with an ok tag match. Rob Van Dam & Kane defeated Chris
Jericho & Christian via D.Q. The tag ranks continue to suck,
but the point of the match was really to get Jericho's state
of mind over for this Sunday's main event. Mission accomplished.
I would
have expected Jeff Hardy vs. Lance Storm to have been better.
Storm is a great in-ring worker and Hardy has his spectacular
moves, but they just didn't seem to click. I'm going to blame
Jeff for this one. He's been using the same moves for a while
now and they have worn thin.
Bautista
squashed D-Low and Victoria squashed Terri. Bautista needs
a bigger push. He's got an awesome look but they are just
treading water with him. Victoria, on the other hand, needs
to do fewer promos.
Three
Minute Warning defeated Bubba & Spike Dudley. Another filler
match with the larger goal of setting up a match for this
Sunday.
Chris
Nowinski beat Al Snow and Maven did the ugliest run-in at
the end that I can recall. Everyone back to class. When it
comes to Al Snow, I stick to the old adage, "Those who can't,
teach." (Somewhere in the world, an Al Snow fan just threw
his mouse at the monitor.)
Randy
Orton interrupted the show with another RNN news update. How
long can these go on and still be amusing? Orton isn't coming
back for another two months!
The return
of Shawn Michaels has caused me a great deal of excitement
and at the same time it perplexes me. We all know that Shawn
is a legend in the ring and has the charisma and personality
outside the ring that we all crave. However, since his return
he's put more than a healthy dose of religion into his promos.
Now historically
wrestling fans have been trained to boo false prophets that
spoke of God and saving our souls. Brother Love and Reverend
D-Von are the stereotype religious figures that writers and
wrestling promoters have used to garner our wrath. Fans really
had no objection to that. We're not folks that like to be
preached to, regardless of our actual religious beliefs.
Now,
I may lose about half of my readership for saying this, but
every time I see Shawn Michaels wearing a "Praise Jesus" tee
shirt or hear him start talking about God granting him strength
I can't help but roll my eyes and think about what a dweeb
Shawn has become. If I wanted to watch religious television
programming then I'd watch 7th Heaven. I tune into
Raw to see one man fight another for a title belt and to learn
hip new slang like "SUCKA!"
I'm all
for the return of Shawn Michaels and I'm glad God will give
him the strength to kill Triple H this weekend, but can he
please tone it down a bit? You don't hear me bragging about
how I break the commandments all the time, now do you? (actually,
I do -- Derek)
Triple
H pinned Booker in the main event which was followed by a
5 man scrum to push this Sunday's main event. When you make
a list of the most wasted talent on the WWE roster, Booker
T has to be near the top of it. He's got the look, the skill
and the fan base and yet the WWE continues to job him out
to "bigger" stars and saddle him with lackluster storylines.
If the WWE wants to show that they are interested in building
up new top level starts and top feuds then Booker T needs
to walk out of Survivor Series with the World Title.
Raw
Injuries
Justin Credible wrestled Tommy Dreamer last night in a dark
match and was injured. Credible landed wrong on a spinebuster
and the match was immediately stopped. He is doing fine today.
Way to avoid permanent paralysis, Justin.
Ivory
was also injured last night during a dark match with Jaqueline.
She suffered a serious lip injury (don't giggle) that needed
a plastic surgeon.
Super-Tuesday
Tune into UPN tonight following Buffy to see "WWE Super Tuesday"
The show will feature 3 pre-taped matches and hype this Sunday's
PPV. Matches include a Triple Threat Match (Edge vs. Eddie
Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit), a 10-man tag (Triple H, Y2J, Christian,
Rosey & Jamal vs. Kane, Booker T, RVD, Bubba Ray & Jeff Hardy),
and an interpromotional bikini contest (Trish vs. Torrie).
I can't
begin to tell you how the word "interpromotional" next to
the words "bikini contest" make it seem that much more thrilling.
WWF
vs. WWE: Round 2
As if losing the right to call itself the World Wrestling
Federation wasn't enough, the World Wildlife Fund is taking
the WWE back to court. The WWF claims that WWE has caused
extensive damage to their brand name.
WWE is
calling the latest WWF suit "offensive" and feels that it
is "unprecedented" for a charity organization to pull something
like this. This is one of those things I love about being
a wrestling fan. When the shows suck, the behind the scenes
stuff is so much more entertaining.
Date
a Wrestler
I meant to tell you about this on Friday, but got so busy
reading fan mail it slipped my mind. It's WWE week on Blind
Date! Here is the full line up for this week's episodes.
Monday
November 11th Christopher Nowinski
Tuesday November 12th Nidia
Wednesday November 13th Jackie Gayda
Thursday November 14th Linda Miles
Friday November 15th Maven
I don't
think I'll be able to watch. It's just too heartbreaking to
see Maven cheat on Torrie.
Can
I Get a Suggestion of a "Has Been" Female Wrestler That Looks
Like a Man But You'd Still Have Sex With?
Chyna will be appearing this Friday on ABC's Whose Line Is
It Anyway?. Please note that this marks the first occasion
where the title of the news item is larger than the actual
news item. I'd also like to thank the three people that got
that joke for reading.
Good
News/Bad News for NWA:TNA
Jerry and Jeff Jarrett recently sold much of NWA:TNA to Panda
Energy. Rumor has it now that had a deal not gone through
to sell TNA, the company would have closed. I told you that
charging 10 dollars a week for PPV wrestling without a free
show to promote it was bad business. Who's da man??
Ratings
Last week's Smackdown finished with a 3.6 rating that is up
from the 3.3 it did the previous week. Tough Enough scored
a 1.3 cable rating, up .3 from the previous week. Raw rating
is delayed due to the Monday holiday.
That's
it for this week. Join me again on Friday with a mop of up
the week's happenings and Survivor Series predictions.
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