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My
venom sacs have been refilled and I'm ready to spew.
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Chair Shots
10-29-02
Raw
Thoughts
For the second week in a row, Triple H tells fans (and writers)
that they can go to hell if they don't like him or his cutting
edge television. That's fine with me since I pretty much figured
my reservation was already made.
The necrophilia
jokes continued as HHH did a ventriloquism act with the mannequin
known as Katie Vick. The high school drama class continued
with Hurricane showing a video of someone in a Triple H mask
getting an object removed from their ass.
I'll give
points to the writers for a) changing the mask to provide
different expressions and b) having the hand that Mae Young
gave birth to years ago be one of the objects. Everything
else was absurd and did nothing to further anyone's career.
But hey, no one boffed a corpse this week!
The "Elimination
Chamber" has me curious since it's been a while since the
WWE added a new gimmick to its bag of tricks. War Games was
always a good concept that the WWE never utilized because
it was a WCW idea, not their own. The addition of Shawn Michaels
pretty much guarantees that I'll watch the PPV.
My guess
is the participants will enter at intervals (like the Royal
Rumble), the match itself will be an elimination type match
(like Survivor Series), and that everything will happen in
a cage/chamber (like War Games). It could be a winner.
I love
that Test has decided to name his fans "Testicles." It's appropriate
since he only has two fans.
Here
is a prime example as to how hard the WWE writers are working
to deliver top-notch entertainment: Test and Stacy Keibler
have been dating in real life for months. Now they are an
onscreen duo. The creativity is astounding, isn't it?
The new
"F-View" television breaks are really just G-TV 2002. The
WWE is trying so hard to recapture the Vince Russo era again.
For God's sake, just rehire the S.O.B. and get it over with.
Gay tag teams, Raw Roulette, rectal surgery, G-TV, corpse
humping and The Big Show in the main event are all Russoesque
ideas. Sure, they all sucked, but at least he wasn't prone
to repeating himself.
Raw was
a step up from last week, which means absolutely nothing.
It remains the empty husk of a show I used to really enjoy.
At least there is still Smackdown…
Steiner
signs with WWE
In case you missed the announcement on WWE.com, the ads on
Raw last night or Eric Bischoff's speech about it, the WWE
has signed Scott Steiner to a contract. As of yet it has not
been decided when he will debut or on what show, but I would
imagine it wouldn't be sooner than Survivor Series. On the
plus side, WWE gets some new top tier talent. On the other
hand, Steiner is insane. Let's see how long he can go before
I have to report something about him hitting a fan or sodomizing
another wrestler.
Return
of The Cat
Former WCW wrestler Ernest "The Cat" Miller wrestled in a
non-televised match on RAW last night. Fans in attendance
say he did pretty good. I wouldn't mind seeing The Cat on
TV again. He was always good for a few laughs.
Foley
Remains My Hero
Mick Foley was scheduled to appear on WWE Byte This last Friday
but pulled out of the show the day after Raw showed the infamous
necrophilia video. Eric Bischoff and Steve O from Jackass
took his place on the show. Ah, Mick. I love ya.
Austin's
Day in Court
Steve Austin appeared in court last week for a pre-trial hearing
regarding the assault charges stemming from a June 15th incident
where he hit his wife Debra. Austin told the judge that he
had learned his lesson and promised to stay out of trouble.
"It's definitely been a learning experience. You won't find
me here again." Austin has another pre-trial scheduled on
November 25th and the actual trial is set for December 3rd.
"I'm ready to get it all behind me."
No
Juice For You!
Former WCW star Juventud Guerrera received a tryout match
with WWE in San Diego. Many complained that he tried to put
too many high spots into his match rather than having a match
more befitting an opening match. Juvy also has no grasp of
the US style and a history of drug abuse. Don't expect to
see him in the WWE anytime soon.
Ratings
It's nothing but sad news for the WWE.
Raw
last night scored a 3.4 rating. That is down .3 from last
week. Seems a fair portion of Raw's usual audience didn't
like the Katie Vick angle and decided to watch something
else this week. Keep sending those messages to the WWE till
we get what we want. The 10/19 editon of WWE Velocity scored
a 0.7 rating with a 1.2 share. This rating was an all time
low for Velocity. The 10/19 editon of WWE Confidential scored
a 0.6 rating with a 1.2 share. That was an all-time low
for Confidential. WWE Heat scored a 1.0 rating.
Randy
Orton Emails Me
If you send a letter to the email address Randy Orton has
been giving out on Raw, here is what you'll get in return.
Dear
Randy Orton Fan:
Thank you for your well wishes as I recover from my shoulder
injury. As you can see, life as a third generation superstar
isn't always easy, but thanks to the unrelenting support
of all you fans, I should be back in the ring in no time.
Fortunately, just because my shoulder's injured doesn't
mean the rest of my body is (if you know what I mean, ladies
:) )
Anyway, I digress.
Thanks again,
Randy Orton
Can someone
explain to me what he means? I'm not a lady.
Till
Friday… No, really. I'll be back on Friday. I promise.
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