Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring. Somedays it's even funny!

I have a ferret in my pants.

Chairshots
10/19/01

Smackdown
As usual, Smackdown was the better of the two WWF shows this week. Solid pay per view build up, good in-ring action and minimal lame skits all came together for an enjoyable show. Can't really say that I'd buy No Mercy if I wasn't a hardcore fan but hey, times are tough all over.

 

Stephanie seemed to be in full junior high school drama club performance mode last night but I barely noticed due to the interference of her breasts. It's just something about that shirt that makes it look like she's smuggling bowling balls.

Who Will I Steal From Now?
Say goodbye to another wrestling web page. Wrestleline.com, a CBS backed web page, has closed for good. I really liked a few of the columnists over there and I extend the olive branch to any that want to come work here at Fanboy. While I'm self promoting, I'd like to again remind you that times are tough all over and here is the link to our Support Us page. Buying something from Amazon isn't going to keep Fanboy Planet around any longer, but it will help to expand our Action Figure Review Department. (Note: We're not shutting down.)

FLAIR NAILS KEIBLER!
Stacy Keibler was on Howard Stern this morning to discuss…whatever. The only really important thing is that she's had sex with three guys in her 22 years: a high school boyfriend she dated for 7 years, "just a friend" and "Little Naitch" David Flair. Suddenly my life is so much more sad. They apparently broke up after their careers started moving in different directions (her to the WWF, Flair to TGI Fridays.) Also, her legs are 42 inches long. Hot damn.

Bye Bye Rock?
The kids over at Ain't It Cool News are reporting that The Scorpion King will be doing 4 weeks of reshoots to add to the previously finished shooting schedule. There is no official word that the Rock will be needed for these reshoots, but since he is the star of the movie, it is presumed that he will be needed for at least some of the time. Hurrmm.

WWF is Greedy
Top Recreational Selling Videos - Issue Date: October 27, 2001

1) WWF: Summerslam 2001
2) WWF: Undertaker - This is My Yard
3) WWF: Invasion 2001
4) Nascar Racers: Start Your Engines
5) WWF: Lita - It Just Feels Right
6) Ball Above All
7) WWF: WrestleMania X-Seven
8) WWF: Best Of Raw Volume 3
9) NBA: 2001 NBA Finals Championship
10) WWF: Action

I'd like to point out that after a year of doing Chairshots, I have still never received a single review copy of a WWF video. Bastards.

No Mercy Preview
The Dudley Boys vs. Big Show & Tajiri: If I've followed the back story to this correctly, Big Show and Spike were chasing the tag titles that the Dudleys have (who can remember which titles?) Spike got the snot beat out of him. Dudleys also attacked Torrie Wilson, which pissed off Tajiri, so he is filling in for Spike. The question is, does anyone care? This should be the opening match and I pick Dudley Boys to win because it makes the least sense.

Kane vs. Test: Back story to this is…Kane is mad at Test. Hell of a job those wacky WWF writers have done, eh? Test cheats and gets a win because he's with The Alliance.

Undertaker vs. Booker T: Another one of those this guy is mad at that guy for no real reason story lines. Undertaker beats Booker because Taker will retire soon and it's his job to beat everyone on the way out. Pfeh.

Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler (Lingerie Match): Finally a match I'm looking forward to for all the wrong reasons. As I understand the rules, it's a regular wrestling match but they wear lingerie. I'm so torn. Do I want the match to go on for a while because they are wearing lingerie or do I want it to be over quickly because the wrestling itself will suck? I say that all the time devoted to the Kane vs. Test match should be spent watching these two vixens tussle. Stacy wins as consolation for having had sex with David Flair. Whoo!

Edge vs. Christian (Ladder Match): Christian has stepped up his game since beating Edge at the last PPV and I'm excited (in a different way) about these two settling their differences in a ladder match. If two guys can light it up then it's these two TLC match veterans. Edge wins to end the feud.

The Rock vs. Chris Jericho (WCW Title): The WWF has a chance to turn Jericho into a great heel with this match. During the match Jericho turns heel and destroys the Rock with chairs, ring bells, announce tables and basically cheats to win the WCW belt. Monday on Raw he can talk about stepping up his game in order to win the big one. Rock can take a few weeks off to reshoot Scorpion King while Jericho defends the WCW belt. This could do wonders for Jericho's career, so of course Rock will pin Jericho in 20 minutes or less. If the WWF does the smart thing, then they need to keep Stephanie away from Jericho. I don't want to see the two reconcile or have a working relationship. They should maintain that no matter what, Jericho and Steph hate each other.

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam: Kurt Angle has lost some of his popularity over the last few months since so much focus has been on RVD and Austin. I predict that RVD hits the five star splash on Angle, goes for the pin, gets pulled off and stunnered by Austin and then Austin pins Angle. This sets up the RVD vs. Angle feud for next month.

Tune in Monday to see how wrong I am.