|
| |
|
Has
beaten the Undertaker 2 times.
|
Chair Shots
10-18-02
Smackdown
Run Down
Edge & Rey Mysterio vs. D-Von & Ron Simmons. The post match
attack by Eddie and Chavo fooled me into thinking that they
would advance to the finals. There were a few times last night
where Nidia's hair fell down over her face and covered her
eyes. Is that a wrestling hazard or something? She needs to
get some hair management tips from Edge.
Tajiri
flip flops between heel and face depending on with whom the
writers want to have him feud. It shows that the writers have
no idea what to do with his talent or really even a handle
on his character. Is he an evil Japanese wrestler prone to
bouts of jealousy or is he the obedient manservant?
"I don't
know who this woman is," says the Undertaker. I don't think
the writers know who she is either. The whole "Tracy" angle
thing is pointless. Has Tracy been plotting this scheme to destroy
him for years? Is the Lesnar match the big pay off for her or
was she hoping for more kicking, screaming, yelling & shirt
ripping out of Taker?
Both
Randy Orton and John Cena, who debuted in the same way at
the same time, both turned heel this week. Have we ever seen
them together in the same ring? Kidman v. John Cena did nothing
to sell the PPV or make me care about their match. Cena also
gave a snooze fest of a back stage promo. Let's forget it
ever happened.
Last
week I said that Torrie and Dawn Marie weren't wrestlers and
this week they proved it. At least they added Matt Hardy and
Rikishi to the mix. The match was nothing special but for
the third straight week, the combo of Torrie and Dawn Marie
have gotten the euphemistic thumbs "up" from me. Hmm…maybe
thumb isn't the word I'm looking for.
I love
Matt Hardy's new intro. I'm going to talk to the webmaster
about adding more "Mattitude" to this site. It's now my second
favorite entrance, right behind Christian's. (Christian! Christian!
At last you're on your own!!!)
Other
than Hell in the Cell, the only thing about No Mercy that
has caught my interest is that Pete Rose commercial.
The greatest
curse a father could ever have would be to have a daughter as
hot as Torrie Wilson that loves to run around in lingerie and
torn white tee shirts. In similar news…
I saw
Dawn Marie's butt crack. I was wrong. No wrestling needs to
take place in this feud for there to be a climax. (Michael
pats himself on the back for "slipping" in more pointless
innuendo.)
Eddie
& Chavo vs. Benoit and Angle was a much better tag match than
the one at the top of the show. Not surprising considering
the talent of the folks in the ring. It's logical booking
to have Edge & Rey vs. Kurt & Benoit in the finals. Kurt has
had lengthy feuds with all three men and will probably be
the star of the match.
Brock
vs. Undertaker is the only really interesting match this Sunday
and Smackdown did a nice job of selling it at the end of the
show. Smackdown had some laughs but wasn't good all around
which it has been the last few weeks. No Mercy looks like
it's going to be a flop at this point. More on that in a moment…
Fresh
meat
Little Guido of ECW fame has signed with WWE and will be put
into the Smackdown cruiserweight roster. Also, Brian "Spanky"
Kendrick will also join the Smackdown once he finishes his
tour of Japan.
Lesnar
vs. Lennox: The Rumble in the Ring
The WWE and Lennox Lewis's people have had at least 2 meetings
over the past 2 weeks regarding the boxer possibly taking on
Brock Lesnar sometime in 2003. As of yet no deal has been reached
but discussions continue. A UK tabloid reported that WWE is
offering Lennox Lewis $5 million to face Brock Lesnar in
a shoot fight at WWE No Mercy next year. I'll believe it
when I see it. The plan is to have the fight be 100% real, but
since it would be a WWE promoted event, no one is ever going
to believe that.
Jim
Ross's House of Injuries
Jim Ross posted his macabe list of injuries this week. Here
are the gruesome highlights:
Randy
Orton tore his shoulder 2 weeks ago and had surgery on Thursday.
He will be out of in-ring action until mid-February due to
a shoulder injury but will still be doing cameos on Raw in
the meantime.
Bubba
Ray Dudley is cleared to wrestle after his concussion in the
TLC match in the two weeks ago.
Goldust
had a trapezoid muscle strain and was held out of action Monday
on RAW. He has seen a doctor and will wrestle in the tag title
match at No Mercy.
Both
Kanyon and Maven are excepted to be released from doctor's
care by the end of October, and then go to OVW for an extended
rehab stay.
Bob Holly
had neck fusion surgery yesterday. He will be out a year.
Holly was injured during his recent match with Brock Lesnar.
Billy
Gunn dislocated his shoulder at the London, Ont. house show
on Monday night. Doctors are waiting to see if a nerve problem
in Gunn's shoulder clears up in hopes of avoiding surgery.
Rhyno
is going to OVW to work out in the ring, but isn't ready for
full matches just yet. December is the target date for his
return.
Tommy
Dreamer has extreme lower back pain and won't compete for
a few weeks.
Mark
Henry will be able to return to the ring in a week or two.
Oh joy!
Bill
DeMott (formerly Hugh Morris) is likely headed to Raw rather
than Smackdown because Raw needs more sucky wrestlers. J.R.
didn't write that last part but I bet he was thinking it.
Rey Mysterio
has a knee problem which may require a 'scope in December.
Cool,
Baby!
The New York Post reports that The Rock is in negotiations
to play the character of USA Network's Johnny Bravo in a
live-action movie. Nothing is official yet. I think he'd
make a much better Johnny Quest.
Don't
Call Him Osama Simmons
In case you missed it, the WWE has recently stopped referring
to Ron Simmons as Faarooq. Why the change? The Al Queda
terrorist group has a camp called All Faarooq (which is
probably not filled with beer-drinking black wrestlers.)
Wrestlers
on TV!
Triple H will appear on The Wayne Brady Show tonight. I'm
hoping they make him improvise a love song in the style
of Rock Opera while Ryan Styles provides his arms. Also,
Extra will feature a segment today with a sneak peak look
at the Divas 2003 Swimsuit Issue. If that's your thing,
check it out. I personally have never watched either show.
Worst
Ozzie Impression Ever!
Indy wrestler Darcy Lee Olson was arrested and is facing
animal abuse charges for biting the head off a live rabbit.
Both he and his roommate have pled innocent to two felony
counts.
Olson
purchased the rabbit to feed to his pet snake but then got
the wacky idea to take pictures of himself biting the head
off the rabbit. He then later planned to toss the pictures
to the crowd at the show (and give the left-over rabbit
parts to the snake?). Olson was planning to bite the head
off a mouse and toss it to the crowd at a show, but the
promoters rejected the idea (but rabbits are okay because
everyone hates them).
When
the film was sent in to be developed, the developing company
turned the photos in to the police. Olson and his roommate
face a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $100,000
fine if convicted, and would be prohibited from owning a
pet for 15 years.
Additionally,
he would be prohibited from doing Elmer Fudd impressions
or using rabbits' feet as tea bags.
No
Mercy Predictions
No Mercy is right. The WWE has given fans no mercy when
it came to booking this card. It's filled with pointless
feuds based on bad storylines. The best it could hope for
at this point is to not be the worst PPV of the year.
Rob
Van Dam vs. Flair
If there is one match on every card to go make a snack during,
it's this one. What a waste of a match. Rob van Dam should
be breaking into the main event instead of wrestling Ric
Flair. Flair just can't keep up in the ring anymore. Since
RVD lost on Monday, he will win this match to make up for
it. Winner: RVD.
Trish
Stratus vs. Victoria
If there is one match on every card to go make a snack during,
it's this one. Victoria will get the win because it's the
usual pattern for the women's title. Baby face has title.
Monster heel comes in and wins title. Monster heels defends
title against all the other women. Baby face wins title
back at next PPV. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Winner: Victoria.
Triple
H. vs. Kane
Raw World Title
If there is one match on every card to go make a snack during,
it's this one. Regular readers of Chairshots know how I
feel about Kane. He used to be cool, but then came back
from his injury, did the Kane-a-roonie and lost all credibility
as a top performer in my eyes. He's just not the undead
monster I know and love no matter much the WWE tries to
convince me that he's a cold blooded necrophiliac. Triple
H doesn't lose matches anymore so winner and still champion,
Triple H.
Kurt
Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio
Smackdown Tag Team Championship
It was logical booking to have Edge & Rey vs. Kurt & Benoit
in the finals. Kurt has had lengthy feuds with all three
men and will probably be the star of the match. As long
as Lesnar doesn't kill Undertaker during the main event,
then this match should provide the best wrestling of the
night. Winner: Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit just so we can
have the drama of having tag champs that hate each other,
again.
Torrie
Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
If there is one match on every card to get intimate with
yourself during, it's this one. The addition of Torrie's
Father is new, so I'm actually looking forward to seeing
where they are going with this. Plus, if we got to see butt
crack on Smackdown, who knows what we will get on a PPV?
Winner: The horny fans and Dawn Marie.
Goldust
& Booker T vs. Christian & Chris Jericho
Raw Tag Team Championship
With Goldust injured and Chris and Christian just winning
the titles on Monday, I don't see a title change happening.
Booker T and Goldust could take a loss but Chirs & Christian
need the win to establish themselves as a legitimate tag
team. Winner: Christian & Chris Jericho.
Brock
Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
Hell in the Cell
The addition of the Undertaker's cast is supposed to make
us believe that with the use of the weapon Undertaker stands
a chance of winning this Sunday. As Mr. McMahon would say,
"there's no chance in Hell."
Undertaker
should have lost to Lesnar last month but the WWE figured
fans would buy a Hell in the Cell match between the two.
That's debatable but none the less here we are. It's time
for Undertaker to lose and start thinking about retiring
by WrestleMania. Winner: Brock Lesnar.
Join
me again on Tuesday for some post PPV analysis and more
bitchy remarks about how bad Raw was.
|
