|
| |
|
Don't
make me angry.
You wouldn't like me
when I'm angry.
I whine a lot.
|
CHAIR SHOTS
10-17-03
I'm Michael
Goodson and this is Chairshots. I'm almost writing as many
columns lately as I was before I retired.
Smackdown
Rundown
Smackdown opened with Kurt Angle mocking the phat rap styles
of John Cena. Pretty funny stuff. If I've said it once, I've
said it a thousand times, midgets are funny. Their feud has
been entertaining and regardless of who wins the match this
Sunday, they should continue feuding.
Cena's
position in the company gets higher as he rubs elbows with
Angle and Angle looks better wrestling Cena than he does some
of the bigger guys like Big Show and Brock Lesnar.
One of
the Bashems fought Chris Benoit which is as fun to read here
as it was to watch. I still don't understand why the WWE is
pushing Albert. I'm a big guy and I have hair on my chest.
Can I be a WWE Superstar?
Stephanie
McMahon gave an interview to Michael Cole regarding her match
this Sunday against her father. The absurd thing about it
is she sold the "loser leaves the WWE" stipulation like the
world may come to an end, despite the fact that both her and
her Vince have lost "loser leaves the WWE" matches in the
past. Stephanie has actually lost more than one.
|
|
|
A
third the size and twice the wrestler Steph is.
|
Damn,
it has been so long since I've write these columns on a regular
basis that I've forgotten my golden rule of wrestling: If
it happened more than 3 months ago, it never happened.
I really
need to get that made into a plaque.
Tajiri
fought Jamie Nobel for awhile. The only notable thing to come
out of it was that Tajiri appeared to spray black colored
mist. It could have been the color on my TV but I've never
seen the black colored mist. What does it do? Is it licorice
flavored? How many flavors is Tajiri capable of producing?
Enquiring fanboys want to know.
Vince
McMahon had a few words to say about his match on Sunday and
then followed that up by sucking face with Sable. During this
segment, I made my very own slop bucket in my living room.
I'm a Godwin!
Match
of the night was Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno, which really isn't
saying much. Rhyno just isn't as entertaining as he was before
the neck injury. His gimmick worked better when he was the
"not too bright power house." If you're expecting me to turn
that into a Chris Garcia insult, I'm above that.
Speaking
of guys with big asses, Big Show ruined Eddie Guerrero's post
match celebration by destroying Eddie and his ride. This would
have been much cooler if it hadn't been Big Show.
Rey Mysterio
fought…um…I wasn't paying attention. Does it matter really?
You were probably watching the baseball game anyway. Let's
move along…
|
|
|
"Wanna
get a beer later?"
|
The show ended the way the last show before a PPV usually ends.
The guy that will win the match on Sunday gets his clock cleaned
by the guy that will lose on Sunday. Tonight these roles were played
by Undertaker and Brock Lesnar.
Wrestling
Patriarch Stu Hart Dies
Canadian wrestling legend Stu Hart passed away Thursday from
complications of diabetes and pneumonia at the age of 88.
He was not only the Father of Bret, Owen and the rest of the
Hart family, but he was an amazing wrestling promoter in Canada
for 40 years.
He was
the founder of Stampede wrestling, an organization that created
some of the best wrestlers ever, Owen and Bret Hart, Chris
Jericho and Chris Benoit to name a few. He was also a member
of Canada's Wrestling Hall of Fame and became a member of
the Order of Canada in 2001. Seven of Hart's eight sons became
pro wrestlers and his four daughters married wrestlers.
Legend
is just not a strong enough word for the man.
Vince
McMahon released the following statement: "It was with great
sorrow that we learned today of the death of Stu Hart. Stu
was a pioneer in professional wrestling. More importantly,
he was a great man. His influence within our industry, his
community and his country was immense. He will be missed,
but his legend will live on. All of us at WWE™ send our condolences
to Stu's family. Our thoughts and our prayers are with them
during this difficult time."
Rock
Continues to Rock
The Rock is set to star in New Line Cinema's 'Instant Karma,'
a live-action CGI movie. Rock will play a safecracker who
dies and is reincarnated as different animals, each progressively
higher up on the food chain. Wacky hijinx no doubt ensue.
Other
celebrity voice talent attached to the project include Burt
Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Gene Wilder, Pierce Brosnan, Mira Sorvino,
David Alan Grier and Eartha Kitt. You can no longer say that
Rock isn't a big star in Hollywood. He's in a movie with BURT
REYNOLDS!
$2000
Fine for Smacking Your Daughter
The Maryland State Athletic Commission is ready to fine the
WWE $2000 for having a male vs. female match at the No Mercy
PPV this Sunday (Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon). Such
matches are usually not permitted.
"The
commission contacted WWE and informed them that if they followed
through with the match that they would exercise their right
to issue the maximum fine of $2,000," said a member of the
commission. The WWE basically responded by saying that they
would pay the fine and throw in a little something nice for
the little lady as well.
Kevin
Nash News: Who Cares!?
Neck still injured…blah blah blah…Goldberg vs. Bash match
plans for Summerslam still in the air….blah blah blah….earning
600k a year for sitting on his….blah blah blah…heart shaped
tattoo on inner thigh that say "X-Pac 4-Ever"…blah blah blah…
Till
next time Garcia is too busy with those goats crossing over
his bridge to write his column…
|
