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Chairshots
10/15/01

Due to an unforeseen accident, Michael Goodson has been rendered unable to write today's Chairshots. While trying desperately to enjoy his last few days of unemployment, Michael learned an important lesson: casual nudity and the George Foreman Grill do not mix. While Michael recuperates, I, co-editor Derek McCaw, have graciously volunteered to write today's Chairshots, even though what little I know about wrestling comes from Michael's exasperated lectures on the phenomenon, and my Mick Foley's Triple Threat action figure set.

After you read this, please write to Michael and tell him to get off his butt, put some salve on "that which has been grilled," and never, ever let me take over Chairshots again. And now…

Foley is Back!

New sitcom for CBS…William and The Undertaker
Both The Undertaker and William Regal suffered injuries at Sunday's house show at Madison Square Garden. Neither plan on missing any time.
Booker T busted The Undertaker wide open with a chair shot. The wound required 13 stitches. Regal tore his right biceps during his match with Kurt Angle. While working on Angle's neck, "…it just popped," according to the embattled ex-commissioner.

I thought popping was a good thing. I'm never going to get the lingo.

"Total Chaos" Interview With Kurt Angle
Among the highlights:

He talked about his book, growing up in Pittsburgh and how amateur wrestling gave him the self-esteem to over come many of the obstacles in his life.

What's it like to kiss Stephanie McMahon? Angle says, "It's a dream come true. She's gorgeous...even more gorgeous in person."

What about his appearance a few years ago in ECW? Shane Douglas called him up offered to "pay him a lot of money" to come to an ECW show. Called it a "very bad experience". Angle got up and left during the Raven/Sandman crucifixion segment. (He didn't mention Raven or Sandman by name) Kurt says he told Paul Heyman "If this makes it on TV, you'll hear from my lawyers" because nobody told him that was going to happen. He doesn't judge them but he was concerned because at the time he was "talking to kids for a living." Kurt says Heyman still denies he had anything to do with it and Angle takes his word for it. Says he and Paul E "talk about it all the time."

Thinks Austin's "What?" routine is "some of the funniest stuff." Angle says its difficult to come out and perform after Austin when fans are laughing at Stone Cold. "It's almost like he was turning himself good guy" Kurt thinks it's a touchy situation because fans were loving Stone Cold too much because "Austin's such an entertaining guy". Angle says when you're playing characters you have to make sure "you're doing the right thing." Kurt thinks "Good guys and bad guys need to compliment each other."

Angle thinks in the future the WWF and the Alliance will have their own separate set of shows and they will build to a "super PPV" each year "like another WrestleMania." He's not sure what they're going to call the new federation but he hears they're going to move away from the traditional three letter initials and call it "Resurrection"

He says taking pride in your country and wearing red, white and blue "started to become hokey in the 90's." But since the tragedies of September 11th, people are taking more pride in their country and realizing that "we are the greatest country in world." But, he says, it's a shame it that it had to happen in the form of a tragedy. Angle says it feels good to have people cheer him as "Kurt Angle and a representative of the US."

Angle says he's serious about an Olympic comeback in 2004 and the WWF has given him full permission to take the time off he needs.

…and reality further blurs.

They will do even better now that Foley is back!

Ratings
Smackdown's final national rating this week was 3.9, strong considering the competition: Fox baseball playoffs, NBC Thursday first-run sitcoms, the Survivor: Africa debut, Millionaire on ABC, and my finally breaking down and installing Diablo on my Macintosh.

And Now We Know…
The final decision to book Rock vs. Chris Jericho for No Mercy was made at the Tuesday booking meeting before the Smackdown tapings. There was considerable internal debate about whether they should save that match until after there was more build up. It seemed the preference among most was to wait, except that no one could come up with a strong alternative plan for both wrestlers to justify delaying the match, not knowing that Goodson was watching Survivor: Africa instead, anyway.

What Do They Want? Blood?
DirecTV does not yet list No Mercy as being available. Last month the WWF and DirecTV came to a one-time agreement to air that month's PPV, but no deal has been reached yet for this month's and beyond. On a related note, DirecTV has also stopped offering the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints' General Conference as part of its basic package. Vince McMahon is reportedly incensed.

Does Neil Gaiman Know About This?
Former ECW legend Sandman returned to XPW (Xtreme Pro Wrestling) Saturday night as part of the promotion's "Halloween in Hell 2" show at the Pico Rivera Sports Arena. Appearing via surprise intro by Major Gunns, Sandman battled it out in a three-way dance for the XPW World Heavyweight Championship against current champ White Trash Johnny Webb and Vampiro. He received a huge pop and worked well with Webb and Vampiro (Webb ultimately retained the title via screwjob).

Raven Gets An Owie
In a hardcore match against Rob Van Dam, Raven suffered a hardway cut on his head.
Raven suffered a cut in a hardcore match with Van Dam that required 3 staples to close. It came after Van Dam hit Raven with the seam of a garbage can.
This is yet another injury caused by the wildly popular RVD, who is developing a backstage reputation for being careless and stiff.
I regret not having the courage to turn that into a slam on Michael Goodson.

Our Sympathies To The Hart Family
The Calgary Sun reports that Helen Hart, 76, was hospitalized again this weekend after suffering another seizure.
"She's not doing really well right now," her daughter Ellie Neidhart said. "The doctors told us she could go either way so we have to be prepared for the worst."
Bret was scheduled to go on tour to Australia with the World Wrestling All-Stars promotion, but this situation is expected to delay his participation in the tour.

Tonight's RAW

Three reasons to watch Raw!

Mick Foley is Federation Commissioner again? I'd watch RAW tonight, but that would make three times in one year, and some marriages just can't withstand that. Here's tonight's line-up, fresh from wwf.com:

Steve Austin and a partner voted on by the Alliance vs. Kurt Angle and a partner of his choosing.

The Big Show vs. The Dudley Boyz in a handicap match.

Mick Foley's First Raw since returning as WWF Commissioner.

Rock, Chris Jericho, Undertaker and Booker T will appear.

 

A fully clothed but carefully swaddled Michael Goodson will watch RAW, and be back to report on Wednesday. Let's hope he's learned his lesson.