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Chair Shots
10-08-02
Raw
Thoughts
How can there be a stipulation of a "Capture the Midget" match
and yet the RAW Roulette wheel never lands on it? What a tease.
Raw was
live last night from Las Vegas, in case you missed the subtle
clues (new intro, show girls, big wheel, pimps, etc…), but
more than that, it was a show out of time. The WWE once again
tried to recapture the Vince Russo style of booking with gimmick
matches, half-naked women and ridiculous storylines. Some
of it worked, but most of it didn't.
First
off, I loved the gimmick of the Raw Roulette wheel. It should
be a tradition every time the WWE does a live show from Vegas,
but rather than having a gimmicked wheel (which it clearly
was), let fate actually dictate the show. It would be much
more interesting and the Las Vegas fans would feel special.
Booker
T vs. Big Show isn't any more interesting in a steel cage
than it is outside of a steel cage. Cage matches just don't
do it for me like they used to do. Back in the day, the cage
match was what two wrestlers had when they'd tried to settle
their differences every other way. Now it seems like we see
cage matches all the time and they've become formula. There
is nothing new to see in a cage match, just the same moves
done from higher heights. Even that peaked years ago with
Mick Foley (Foley! Foley! Foley!). A dud match that really
did nothing for either man.
HHH and
his blindfold match was good for a few minutes. It reminded
me of the Jake the Snake vs. Rick Martel match, the only other
blindfold match I've seen. Once the nostalgia wore off, the
match was another dud. I really used to like Triple H, but
since he returned from his injury, he just hasn't thrilled
me in the same way. In my eyes, it doesn't help Raw that they
center the entire show around him.
Regal
vs. Goldust was good for a snicker but that's about it. At
least it was short.
I have
two things to say about the Al Snow vs. Test match. #1 is
that I appreciated that Test was already in the ring when
they cut to the match rather than wasting my time making me
watch his intro. #2 is that Al Snow is better than the matches
he has. Snow is a very talented wrestler but he always has
hardcore brawls that don't highlight his technical skills.
Is there a special class on Tough Enough where he shows the
kids that all you really need to know to get by in the WWE
is how to hit a man properly with a stop sign? At this point
in the show, my hopes of seeing a good (Smackdown quality)
match were fading.
Jerry
Lawler had his one match of the year, which was only saved
by the fact that I swear I saw boobie when he was dancing
with the hos. I like boobie.
Finally
the main event rolled around and the last chance at entertainment
was a good one. The 8 man tables, ladder and chairs match
was enjoyable but in that way that makes you feel a little
bad that the wrestlers are shortening their career for your
entertainment. While probably not as good as all of the previous
TLC matches, it still had enough high spots to make you say
"damn!" A big finish to the show saved it from being a total
waste. I always say that if the show ends with a big finish,
that's all the fans will remember.
Unfortunately,
that was not the end of the show. Triple H had to come out
(again) and ruin the moment by telling the world that he found
out that 10 years ago Kane committed murder. An audible groan
was heard throughout the world as the WWE once again crossed
the line between what passes for acceptable wrestling plotlines
and plotlines that are turned down by Mexican soap operas
for being too ridiculous. Instead of leaving fans with the
TLC match on their mind, they served up steaming glasses of
stupidity and poured it all over our suspension of disbelief.
In what
I guess is supposed to make us tune in next week, no details
were given about "Katie Vick." Triple H offered no proof,
but you can bet has managed to solve the 10 year old murder
in his own Rockford Files like way.
Given
the absurd backstory that both Kane and the Undertaker already
share, Katie could be anyone from Paul Bearer's illegitimate
daughter to the childhood neighbor of Kane and Undertaker
that witnessed the fire that killed their parents. (Anyone
remember who actually started that fire in WWE continuity?
I've lost track.)
The WWE
has said from the beginning of the roster split that Raw would
be a more "entertainment" style show and that Smackdown would
focus more on actual wrestling. That has never been more apparent
than now as longtime fans slowly begin to ignore Raw and instead
just enjoy Smackdown. The WWE management believes that it's
the over the top plotlines that are more interesting to the
casual fan, but ratings have never proven that. If anything,
casual fans tune in to Raw on Monday, see nothing but a half-assed
attempt at entertainment and don't give wrestling another
chance for six months.
Bubba
Injured in TLC Match
Bubba Ray Dudley suffered a concussion last night during the
TLC match on RAW. He was dazed and confused after the show
but seems to be suffering no lingering effects. Poor Bubba.
Scott
Hall M.I.A.
NWA: Total Nonstop Action has announced that Scott Hall will
miss this week's Pay-per-view broadcast for the second week
in a row. Hall missed last week's show at the last minute
due to a "family emergency." Hall was scheduled to compete
in a six-man tag team match on the show. Instead of Hall,
the NWA is teasing that Hall's spot will be filled by a "former
World Champion." Lex Lugar? Stone Cold? The corpse of Andre
the Giant?
WWE
Wins Nicole Bass Trial
From WWE.com today: "A U.S. Federal District Court jury in
the Nicole Bass sexual harassment lawsuit unanimously exonerated
WWE and defendant Steve Lombardi of any wrongdoing. The sexual
harassment lawsuit brought by Ms. Bass had no factual foundation
and the jury, in its decision, saw that clearly. This was
nothing but an attempt to smear WWE's good name in an attempt
to make an easy dollar. WWE views today's verdict as vindication
of our corporate name and reputation."
Man,
when you can't even keep a job in wrestling despite being
a genetic freak, where else is there to go but the circus?
Have fun scooping elephant poop, Ms. Bass.
Speaking
of poop, I am outta here.
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