Chair Shots

9-10-02

In theory, I'm all for HLA.

The Raw Run Through
"TNN takes serious issue with the content of Monday night's WWE RAW episode, and has expressed its deep concern to the WWE. We don't condone the content of this episode, and will work diligently to ensure that similar occurrences do not appear again on our network."

That's what TNN had to say about last night's edition of Raw and it's tough to argue with them. In order to counter the commitment ceremony by Chuck and Billy this week on Smackdown, Eric Bischoff featured two women making out last night. After an hour of Jerry Lawler promising home viewers "hot lesbian action" the two women came into the ring, stripped down to bra and thongs and kissed. The "action" was predictably and thankfully interrupted by The Island Boys and their lesbian crushing moves of doom.

As publicity stunts go, it's a good one. The WWE is getting all kinds of negative publicity. They have given groups like the Parents Television Council fresh ammunition to use against the WWE. Longtime wrestling fans are turning away from Raw faster than you can say "Everybody Loves Raymond." I think we were all ready for a lackluster Raw this week just based on recent history, but I don't think we expected to see this kind of train wreck.

Personally, the lesbians didn't offend me. Why should the WWE take any more heat for promoting trailer park lesbianism than Howard Stern does? Raw is on cable and they should be allowed to be as raunchy as any episode of Son of the Beach and as violent as any episode of The Shield. If some wrestling fan is irate because he was watching Raw last night with his 8 year old son, it only begs the question "why were you letting your son watching it in the first place?"

My problem with the segment is that it just wasn't entertaining.

Jerry Lawler went way over the top with his drooling old man routine. The lesbians weren't that hot. I saw the Island Boys finish coming a mile away. So they wasted the first hour of the show building up to a pointless segment. You could argue that the point of the segment was to get the Island Boys over as heels, but didn't they already do that when they attacked Mae Young, Jimmy Snuka and a midget? We get the point already!

Even if you removed the "HLA" segment from the show, it still wasn't a good night for Raw. No one gives a flying flag about the Un-Americans and adding "Mr. Personality" William Regal to the group isn't going to change that. They have so many members now it seems like their matches alone waste half the show.

Bischoff hit the nail on the head a few weeks ago when he said, "no one cares about women's wrestling." No one is going to start caring by watching Stacy & Victoria fight Terri & Trish. What a waste of air time.

The four way number one contenders match was ok, but lacked any real drama since we all pretty much figured out that the WWE was booking a RVD vs. Triple H feud last week. And while I like that Jeff Hardy was in the main event, what was Big Show doing in it? Why is he being put in the main event when Booker T is a better wrestler, more over with the fans and a lot more entertaining?

Everything was going so well up until SummerSlam and since then the WWE has struggled to string together more than two entertaining shows.

Ratings!
Smackdown's numbers from last week rose slightly as the show scored a 3.2 rating. The previous week was 3.1.

X-Pac & NWA Sitting in a Tree
NWATNA.com reports that Sean Waltman, a.k.a X-Pac, is close to cutting a deal with the organization. My letter writing campaign has finally paid off.

Austin Says, "My Bad"
The Associated Press is reporting that Steve Austin has dropped the divorce proceedings that he filed against his wife Debra in July. Austin must still stand trial on a misdemeanor charge from the June 15 incident where he is alleged to have assaulted Debra at their house. No date for the trial has been set.

Move Over Britney Spears
WWE Ring Announcer Lilian Garcia has signed a recording contract with Universal Records, and will be releasing her debut single "Shout" on October 8, 2002. She is expected to follow that up with a full length CD next year. Oddly, she did not get a record deal with "Smackdown Records." I bet Howard Finkle was holding her back.

The Gay Wedding
Since I missed last Friday's Chairshots, I just wanted to chime in on the "Commitment Ceremony" that will take place this Thursday. Again, as publicity stunts go, it's a good one but this one has at least generated some good publicity.

Stuck in a rut, the writing team needed to do something with the ambiguously gay duo. When Chuck popped the question to Billy last week, I fully expected Billy to punch him in the mouth and declare that he wasn't gay. That was just silly of me because the knee jerk wrestling fans would have screamed "queer basher" faster than that kind of news can be ripped from the headlines.

So, Billy said yes and now we get to see them exchange vows on Thursday. Like the hot lesbian action on Raw, I don't give a crap about people who may be offended by this. I only ask that it be entertaining. Hell, every show should have a gay wedding until it becomes so commonplace that it's not considered a publicity stunt anymore. But if it fails to entertain us as fans than the WWE will have laid two giant eggs in a row.

It appears to be headed on the right track as the WWE has put more thought into planning this (as is more common on Smackdown). Details have already leaked that Honky Tonk Man (former Manager of Billy Gunn) was contacted by the WWE to make a guest appearance but he declined.

Could other former "partners"(ahem) of Chuck and Billy be scheduled to make cameos? Chuck's former partners include Shawn Stasiak and Sean O'Haire, while Billy could potentially have Bart Gunn and Road Dogg in his corner. Will Road Dogg show up and declare his secret love for Billy? By golly! That would entertain me.

Anyway, I'm taking a wait and see attitude on this one before I get my knickers in a twist. I hope this turns out for the best rather than the career killer I predicted it would be for Chuck and Billy.

Did anyone else find it amusing that Mark Henry was the first person to congratulate Chuck and Billy on their commitment last week? Was it coincidence that the first guy to say congratulations was the guy that in his WWE history has been romantically linked with senior citizens and transvestites? I don't think so.

That is it for today and that's it for me for a while. I'm going on vacation for a while so I will not be back to writing Chairshots until September 24th. However, guest writers Sarah Stanek and Chris Garcia will be filling in for me during that time. So tune in on Friday for a whole different set of opinions and pet peeves. See you soon.

Michael Goodson