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Chair
Shots
8-30-02
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Everybody
wants to rule the world.
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Smackdown
Run Down (in the style of Dennis Miller)
Smackdown has the deeper roster between the two shows, yet
week after week they find new and creative ways to have the
same 2-3 guys wrestle twice on a show.
Not that
I'm complaining about watching Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit
wrestle, but it's becoming obvious that Smackdown writers
don't have any ideas for guys like Faaroq, Randy Orton, Godfather
and Albert. Hmmm, I don't either.
Now I
don't want to get off on a rant here but after botching the
first night of the new "Brock Lesnar Era" on Monday, Smackdown
did what Raw should have and gave Brock a midcard wrestler
to destroy. Rock jobbed to Brock on Sunday and left us with
the question "who can beat Brock?"
Until
a challenger arises, Brock should mow through the talent roster
like Robert Downey Jr. at an "all you can snort cocaine buffet."
God knows that watching Brock beat the crap out of Matt Hardy
was far more entertaining than watching Undertaker and Triple
H have their 1 millionth match. Save it for the "Used to be
WWE Superstars Tour 2023", fellas.
The federation
has had a recent run of losing touch with what the fans want
and this can't be more evident than giving the Undertaker
the number one contendership. Do we really want to see a guy
that was hitting his peak 10 years ago and hasn't actually
applied a wrestling hold in 20 years wrestle our "next big
thing" Brock Lesnar? Don't we get enough of that from Hogan
and Flair?
I can
see where the writers are taking us. They think we think the
Undertaker is some massive presence in the WWE that can stop
Brock rather than what we actually see: an old guy with a
cool entrance that took fashion tips from Limp Bizkit.
If they
are serious about making Undertaker the number one contender
then they have got to make us care and believe that Taker
can do it. Roll the clock back on the "American Bad Ass" to
a time when he was the "Undead Bad Ass." When many long time
fans look at the Undertaker, they still see the hulking, undead,
unstoppable Danzig reject that became an early nineties icon
along with Paul Bearer. Once upon a time we believed that
the Undertaker could take a banzai drop from Yokozuna and
sit right back up like a 13 year old with his Grandad's Viagra
prescription.
If the
WWE reestablishes Undertaker as an unstoppable force then,
and only then, will fans care about a title match with the
immovable object, Brock Lesnar. If there isn't a change up
in Undertaker's stale old character, the writers should at
least throw Kane into that spot since they are similar and
Kane hasn't had a title shot in years.
Oops,
too late for that. Kane is too busy doing the Kane-a-roonie
like a cartoon mascot for Der Wienerschnitzel.
My apathy
only grows for the current crop of wrestling baby faces when
I see guys like Rikishi being pushed. Why put Rikishi over
Eddie last night and then have him lose later to Chris Benoit?
Benoit wasn't even allowed to beat him cleanly since Rikishi
was injured during a previous attack. Was anyone cheering
for Rikishi during either of his matches? Wouldn't wrestling
purists have preferred Eddie beating Rikishi and then having
a match with Benoit? Benoit could have still won under the
guise that Eddie had already wrestled twice that night and
the ending of the show would be unchanged.
Edge lost
any baby face momentum he got coming off SummerSlam with a
loss to Eddie early in the show. D-Von and Bautista still
haven't decided who's the baby face and who's the heel in
their feud. At this point, the most over baby face in the
WWE is Rey Mysterio Jr.
You can't
tell me that fans wouldn't pay money to see Rey Mysterio vs.
Brock Lesnar. That match up has everything going for it from
the David vs. Goliath aspect to the subtle theme of the ethnic
struggle against the white man. I'm talking box office cha-ching
with this one, babe.
Of course,
that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
McMahons
at Walmart?
Thanks, Dennis. In other news: The WWE announced this week
that Vince and Linda McMahon will not receive bonuses this
year due to a downturn in business. Declining ratings and
lower pay-per-view purchases mean that Vince and Linda will
be giving up their bonuses which have historically totaled
over a million dollars combined.
A Reuters
story reports Vince McMahon was paid $900,000 and Linda McMahon
was paid $675,000 in bonuses last year. But don't expect the
see Vince and Linda clipping coupons from their Sunday paper,
as they will continue to draw their regular salaries of 750k
to 1 million dollars a year.
Ratings
Raw scored a 4.0 cable rating this week which mates last week's
rating. That can be considered somewhat of a let down since
it's the show following a big PPV. Raw usually takes a jump
in the ratings following a PPV. Smackdown rating was down
this week to 3.1 broadcast rating. Last week the show scored
a 3.6. however last night's broadcast was pre-empted in many
markets with baseball games. The show didn't air at all in
New York, Baltimore and Florida.
Goldberg
Stuff
Goldberg returned to pro-wrestling last night in Japan. He
faced and won a match against Satoshi Kojima at the All Japan
show in Budokan Hall. Reports say it was the usual 4 minute
Goldberg style of match we've seen a hundred times in WCW.
This was Goldberg's first wrestling match since the demise
of WCW. Welcome back Goldberg.
Also
this week Goldberg was announced as having been cast in the
new Warner Brothers movie, "Loony Tunes: Back in Action."
Much like Space Jam, the film will feature live actors appearing
with famous Looney Toon characters. Brendan Fraser, Heather
Locklear, Bugs Bunny and Jenna Elfman have also signed on
with the film.
Have
a great holiday weekend and I'll see you again on Tuesday.
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