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Chair Shots

8-27-02

I can do everything through burritos which give me strength.

SummerSlam Thoughts
Let me start by saying two things.

#1 is that SummerSlam was the best PPV of the year to date.

#2 is that it was really dull in parts.

This was not a PPV for the casual wrestling fan. Backstage skits were kept to an all time low. There were very few interviews or cuts to The World. The entire PPV was just back to back wrestling match with no surprises.

For years fans have begged wrestling promotions to "stop the talking and let them wrestle." Finally they (not me) were given what they wanted, and frankly, all that wrestling wears on you. Sometimes you need a silly backstage skit or fluff Bra and Panties match to give yourself a rest between heavy wrestling matches.

Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio set the standard high for wrestling in the opening match. I hope and pray that this feud isn't over because it was a damn good match. They could have a Smackdown main event that Rey wins and then have a PPV rematch at Unforgiven in a cage or ladder match. Fans would eat that up because these two are just exciting to watch.

Chris Jericho and Ric Flair had about as good of match as they could considering that Ric is over 100 years old now. There was no reason to have Flair win and ending the way they did with Ric tapping out after he grabbed the ropes was just silly. If you quit, you quit regardless of ring positioning. Fair wrestling with a dull outcome.

Edge vs. Eddy Guerrero was another good wrestling match but lacked any real crowd attention because fans were bummed about the Flair match and in need of something other than a long wrestling match to cleanse the palette. Michael Cole told us again and again that Edge is the future of Smackdown. He'd better start showing it.

By now fans felt like Augustus Gloop in the chocolate factory, having been fed too much wrestling. Booker T & Goldust vs. The Un-Americans was an off the rack tag match that was as good in 1982 as it was Sunday. Typical stuff that could have been on any edition of Raw.

Chris Benoit and RVD had the type of excellent match you'd expect from these two talented lads. Too bad the fact they are on different shows meant they couldn't build up a better feud. This is one of those matches that will get better with age because in 10 years no one will care about the storyline and they will only appreciate the wrestling. Maybe this whole show will be like that.

Undertaker vs. Test was what I predicted it was, an excellent opportunity to go make a snack. We made Fried Twinkies (well, my lovely host Sarah did). After a few tries we decided to ignore the recipe which called for rolling the Twinkies in Malt Vinegar batter and instead just threw Twinkies into bubbling oil. They are pretty tasty if you can get over the guilt that you are eating a cream filled sponge soaked in oil. Mmmm...Heart Disease.

Meanwhile, Undertaker won.

Then the PPV kicked it up a notch. Shawn Michaels was, is and always will be the show stopper. At one point during his incredible return to the ring I swear he mouthed the words "Bret who?" Even if he didn't, I laughed because I knew he was right. No one expected the kind of effort Shawn gave and we were fools to think that. An outstanding match that will be remembered for years, worth the price of the PPV alone.

For those of you wondering about the "Philippians 4:13" shirt Shawn Michaels was wearing, I looked it up. The King James Bible's Philippians 4:13 reads "I can do all things through Christ which strengthen(eth) me." The New International Version's Philippians 4:13 reads "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." We love you, Shawn, even if you get less and less cool with age. (Please see link below for irate e-mails...Derek)

Finally the show ended in a way everyone predicted, but no one predicted correctly. Brock Lesnar beat The Rock fair and square in the middle of the ring without cheating or outside interference. So now Brock's real test begins. Can he carry the WWE on his back like HHH, Rock, Austin and so many others have done? Is the youngest WWE world champ ever experienced enough? Will fans buy his legitimacy? Only time will tell. Bold move by the WWE none the less.

The PPV ended with the question, "Who can stop Brock Lesnar?" Interesting question. If The Rock is the top star in the wrestling world and he can't defeat Brock, who can? Three names spring to mind. Goldberg, Sting and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Sting is retired, Stone Cold is up to his ass in personal problems, but negotiations remain open with Goldberg. How does Brock vs. Goldberg sound for your WrestleMaina main event?

With The Rock leaving the WWE to go make his next movie, why didn't Brock destroy Rock afterward and leave him bloody a la Triple H and Shawn Michaels? Aren't the non-internet fans going to wonder why Rock disappeared from TV? Won't he look like the bitter ex-champ? It would have helped to re-cement Brock as a career ending heel which the WWE needed since some fans were cheering Brock during the match. Which brings me to my next point...

Critics are already blaming the "Rocky Sucks" chant on everything from the Canadian Tradition of booing baby faces to El Nino. If you want to know why fans were booing Rock, look no further than the last month of Chairshots.

I've repeatedly said that Rock's promos have gone from funny to absurd due to the ultra lame "comedy" he's been given to work with. The chants last night were a sign that fans are tired of the "up your anus" type promos. The writers are going to have to really think out what to do with the Rock when he does (if he does) return. Sloppy booking like that could make a guy want to stick to making movies.

Overall I think SumemrSlam was a great three match show with a lot of ho-hum filler in between. Still, that makes it better than any PPV we've seen this year. Recent good television shows and a strong PPV delivery are just what the WWE needs to turn their ship around.

The Raw Run Through
I watched Raw, but frankly, I don't have a lot to say about it. It was a huge let down after SummerSlam. RVD vs. Dreamer was good but the rest was pointless at best. Fans didn't care about the Triple H vs. Undertaker main event because it's something we've seen a hundred times before.

Kane made his return (which he should have done at the PPV) but immediately squished any notion that he was going to go to the main event by humiliating himself with a Kane-a-Roonie. Howard Finkle and Lillian Garcia wasted 15 minutes of our lives that we will never get back. And the Un-Americans stooped to new lows by threatening to burn the American flag.

Let's hope that most fans were sleeping off heart surgery after eating too many fried Twinkies and missed this awful show. The Raw writing team continues to struggle to consistently produce good TV.

Austin Divorces Debra
According to public records, Steve Austin filed for divorce from Debra Williams on July 22. This was three weeks before charges were formally filed against him for assaulting his wife earlier this summer. Austin's contract with WWE remains "suspended" for walking out of the promotion due to disputes with management. Oh, how the mighty do fall.

I think that's enough Chairshotty goodness for today. See you on Friday with Smackdown highlights and more wrestling news and opinion. Ta ta.

Michael Goodson

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