Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring. Somedays it's even funny!

Chairshots 8/8/01

I'm down with this site.

Site News

The website went down last night and I was told it would be down all day. Imagine my surprise went it went up around 2:00. Just in time for me to feel bad about Chairshots being late. Can you believe it? No, me neither.

Chyna and ‘negger

Tuesday's Hollywood Reporter had a story in it talking about how Chyna, soon to be once again known as Joanie Laurer, has left behind wrestling to become an actress.  She is talking with Fox about doing a TV movie where she is a guidance counselor in an inner city high school. The project is described as "Dangerous Minds" meets "Kindergarten Cop." Sounds better than Attack of the Clones. The article says “Laurer said she hopes the untitled Fox telefilm project will do for her what ‘Kindergarten Cop’ helped do for Arnold Schwarzenegger,” namely soften an image that has been defined by the size of her abundant muscles. I thought that “Kindergarten Cop” killed Schwarzenegger’s career? Have you seen “End of Days?” To read the report, click here or don’t. Howard Stern made comments about Chyna leaving the WWF to act this morning by saying, “Herman Munster and Maude are two roles she fits.”

Outsiders Reunion

Kevin Nash has posted his latest commentary on his website.  Here is the only quote that’s of any interest, “As far as what I’m gonna do in my career in the future, most people know that I’ve got until January 1, 2002, on my contract with what was once WCW, and is now known as the Universal Wrestling Corporation. So, I will be paid until December 31, 2001. Then, at 12:01 a.m. on New Year’s Day, I become a free agent. Yippee! As of right now, the plan is for Scott and I to work the Tokyo Dome show for New Japan Pro Wrestling on January 4, 2002 … and then go from there. There have been some talks about an overseas tour to Australia after that.” To read the whole column, click here. Is it just me or is Kevin Nash not the kind of guy I picture using the word “Yippee?”

No Awesomeness, He Just Reeks

Mike Awesome has been taken out of his major storyline with Lance Storm , Edge and Christian. He had been feuding with Edge over "awesomeness," but was reassigned to the lesser shows and taken out of the team with Storm. WWF officials feel that Awesome is clumsy in the ring, and have de-pushed him until his in-ring performance improves and they can find an effective gimmick for him. Maybe “That 80’s Guy?”

Jim Ross and the Mexicans

Jim Ross met with Rey Mysterio Jr. in Los Angeles Tuesday regarding the possibility of a WWF contract. One source reports that Mysterio brought Juventud Guererra to the meeting with him. The WWF had interest in Guererra prior to his arrest (drunk and disorderly conduct) in Australia. Some people within the WWF believe that enough time has passed since the incident that the company may be open to working with him.

What’s Wrong With Raw

The ratings are in on the 8/6 edition of Raw is War and the show dipped a little bit from last week's "Return of the Rock", scoring a 5.4 rating.  That is down from last week's 5.7. The last few weeks Raw has been a pretty good show, but this week just fell apart. Here’s why and how I think we can get back on track.

1. Too much comedy. The writing team did a good job and got a positive reaction from viewers for the comedy stuff in last week’s show. So they doubled the amount this week. From cameos by the Planet of the Apes, er, apes to Debra's cookies to Terri's crying over a mop to “Booker T. Goes To Hollywood,” all of it just came off as lame. I've seen better acting in porno movies. The solution is to plot out logical storylines using the most worthy talent. What a concept, eh? Save the comedy for WWF: Def Comedy Jams.
2. Again, the WWF writers must think that wrestling fans have the attention span of puppies. Ivory made her return to the WWF, or joined The Alliance as it were. However no explanation was given as to where she has been and why she’s no longer the prim and proper member of the Right to Censor. I like Ivory and I’m glad she’s back, but no one is going to care about her or her defection to The Alliance if no explanation is given. See the solution above.
3. I love hot girls. No doubt about it. But why is WWF Raw airtime devoted to Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson vs. Jackie? Isn’t that what Sunday Night Heat is for? If the WWF wants T&A on the show, why can’t Torrie and Stacy be managers?
4. I made mention of this in my post Invasion report, but what is the big deal about The Alliance invading the WWF? The WWF has nothing to lose. All the announcers talk about is how it’s “about bragging rights” and “pride.” Who gives a crap about pride? Let’s put some belts on the line or television time up for grabs. Imagine how dull World War 2 would have been if Hitler invaded France just to pick up some fresh croissants.
5. The WCW guys need better entrance music. Most of the WWF wrestlers have good catchy tunes. The WCW guys would probably be a little more over with the crowd if they had recognizable music. On a side note, did anyone else notice that X-pac gave up the “sounds like Luther Vandros” X-factor music and went back to the DX theme? Not sure if I agree with that or not.
6. The WWF needs to focus on the top guys and let the undercard prove why they should be a top guy. Chris Jericho, you’re on the bench. Tajiri, you’re going to have a huge feud with RVD. Kane, you and X-pac go to the locker room and tell Edge he has a main event match tonight. Positively Kanyon? You’re positively stupid. Every minute you are on my TV is another minute that Lance Storm should be kicking someone’s ass. Shane McMahon, I like you, but why was Booker holding The Rock down for your big move at the end of Raw? Wouldn’t it be a better feud you were holding down The Rock while Booker beat him up? Perhaps I’m being too logical?

That’s it for me today. Yippee!

Michael Goodson

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