|
|
Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring. Somedays it's even funny!
Chairshots
8/6/01
Raw Preview
Not much news today. The Rock will be taking on Shane McMahon in a Street fight tonight. If this is anything like Shane’s Street fight with Kurt Angle at King of the Ring, then this one is going to be a winner. Of course this is free television and not PPV, so don’t expect it to be that great. I predicted a screw job/run-in ending on Friday and I’ll stick by that. Kurt Angle and Steve Austin have a PPV match in just 13 days, so expect them to clash in some way tonight. I would assume that the Intercontinental, Tag Team and Hardcore belts will also be on the line at SummerSlam. The WWF is going to have to get the ball rolling to build up a money feud in just 13 days.
MECW
The new federation trying to give the WWF a run for its money, MECW, is shaping up. Currently there are plans for a huge show at the ECW Arena on August 11. People scheduled to be on that show include Curt Hennig, Buff Bagwell, Tracy Smothers, Public Enemy, Simon Diamond and Dawn Marie, Steve Corino, Danny Doring and Roadkill, Joel Gertner, Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo and many other former WCW and ECW wrestlers. Sandman vs. Sabu has already been booked on the card. John Collins, the owner of Main Event Championship Wrestling, has spoken with Joey Styles, Terry Funk, Don Callis, Mark Madden, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan about the announcing positions at MECW. Still no television contract yet.
Quick News
- Media Week reports that the Aug. 16 live Smackdown will feature an all-new set, new graphics, and an overall new look.
- Mick Foley's Robot Wars to start this month: Reuters reports that the six episodes of "Robot Wars: Extreme Warriors" programs with Mick Foley as host will begin airing on TNN on Aug. 20 at 8 p.m.
- Jerry "The King" Lawler has updated his website with another rambling heartbroken update about his wife leaving him. This time he quotes Garth Brooks. Man, you know you're hurting bad when you start quoting Garth.
Thing Of The Week – Back when I was writing for DailyRadar.com, each weekly column included a “Thing of the Week” where I would rant about something going on or try do some wrestling related humor. Since it’s a slow news day, here is a reprint of one of my more clever efforts. At the time, Vince “Bad Gimmick Writer” Russo was planning a comeback with WOW wrestling. I figured I had as much talent for bad gimmicks as Vince did. Here’s what I came up with.
The Insane Gunman: He tries bringing guns to hardcore matches. The referees and officials have to try and talk the gun away from him before each match. Wrestlers know they can beat him, but they are always afraid of really pissing him off. Eventually he forms alliances with other wrestlers and they form the NRA.
Sam - The Guy That Loves Wrestling: Sam knows all there is to know about wrestling. He only wears vintage wrestling gear by Ric Flair or Ricky Steamboat. His finishing maneuver involves the use of a giant foam finger and something he saw done during Clash of the Champions 3. Before every match he brings up embarrassing facts about his opponent. Just imagine how mad HHH will be when Sam reminds him that HHH stands for Hunter Hearst Helmsley and that he used to have a British accent.
Goldberg: No, not THE Goldberg. I mean the little fat kid from the Mighty Ducks movies. If Vince Russo can make David Arquette Champion, why not Shaun Weiss?
Two wrestlers butt heads in the ring and swap personalities. What if it was HHH and Stone Cold? What would Debra and Stephanie do?
The Conspiracy Nut: Convinced that everyone's out to get him, and that Vince McMahon killed Kennedy.
The Mason: Actually killed Kennedy, and is out to get the Conspiracy Nut.
The Patsy: Guest referee for the match between The Mason and The Conspiracy Nut.
Ambush Bug: The one guy that knows wrestling is fake. Kids, that was this week's obscure reference! Did you get it?
Access: The one wrestler capable of co-existing in both the WWF and the WCW. Two jokes no one will get in one column! God bless America.
The Homeless Wrestler: Daily Radar columnist (now Fanboy Planet co-editor – co-ed.) Derek McCaw suggested this one during WrestleMania X-7 after seeing Raven come to the ring for his hardcore match with a shopping cart. Sometimes The Homeless Wrestler enters with his shopping cart and sometimes he just crawls out from under the ring where he's been sleeping. Fans can all bring signs that say "Will Wrestle for Food." (I later found out that there is a wrestler with this gimmick in XPW)
The Goatee: Not much of a gimmick here, other than he has a goatee. His finishing move is "the clean shave." His female valet is Van Dyke.
The Candy Man: He can make the sun shine where it has never shone before. "Who can take a sunrise... sprinkle it with PAIN..."
The Gygax: He believes that the entire wrestling industry is a giant role-playing game. His ring attire includes bracers of defense and boots of spider climb. All of his finishing moves cause his opponent to "tap" out. He fights for various championship belts because he believes they add to his charisma. He gets +2 to strength when he teams with his partner The Wizard of the Coast. This gimmick works better when the announcers play along. "Oh no, The Gygax is putting on his ring of invisibility, but it looks as if The Rock can still see him."
Discuss this and more in the Fanboy forums.