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Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring. Somedays it's even funny!
Chairshots
7/22/01
Welcome to a very special Chair Shots update. The FanboyPlanet.com staff is still down in Southern California covering the Comic-Con, but I did manage to catch WWF Invasion. If you missed the PPV, you can read a recap of it here. I was very under whelmed by Invasion as a whole, which is unusual for me. On a scale of 1-10, it scores a 5 at best. Let’s talk about where the WWF went wrong.
Wrestling Rule #1:
What is it that makes a good fight? The WWF has always thrived not just on the popularity of a hero but on the threat that a heel poses to the hero. Hogan had Andre. Michaels had Hart. The number one problem with the Invasion is that in the minds of WWF fans, WCW and ECW are not a threat. The fans that had seen WCW know that they tanked due to crappy wrestling; the fans that have never seen WCW have never seen WCW! ECW went out with the same kind of whimper. Also, any star power that WCW had isn’t around. Kevin Nash, Sting, Ric Flair, Scott Steiner and Goldberg are all home sitting on their asses. The WWF needed to not just get beat down in the fights with the WCW wrestlers, but lose to the WCW/ECW wrestlers in clean and fair matches. Just look at how the WCW/ECW alliance was booked in tonight’s PPV.Story Telling 101
- The WWF wins 3 matches in a row. The first match the WCW wins is one where the fans hate the WWF representative (X-pac sucks.)
- In the second match the WCW/ECW win is the Regal vs. Raven match where Tazz runs in and jumps Regal.
- The third match WCW/ECW wins is the 6 man match between Show/Gunn/Albert vs. Stasiak/Kanyon/Morrus. Not only does the WCW beat a bunch of WWF jobbers, the jobbers lay down a post match beating to show who’s boss. Ugh.
- Booker T, the WCW champ, enters the ring before Kurt Angle, DDP and Steve Austin. Being champ, shouldn’t he have come out second to last at the very least?
- RVD and Jeff Hardy have an incredible match where they beat each other with ladders, chairs and a plethora of awesome moves. There are a number of near falls in the match but they are almost always to kick out without any help. Then, after only 2 minutes of fighting in the main event, Austin goes for a pin on Rhyno who needs Devon to run in and save him. Jim Ross even sells that Austin would have had Rhyno and the match if Devon hadn’t made the save. That says to me that the WCW main eventers are pussies.
Once you have a beloved hero and a villain that is due his comeuppance it’s time to raise the stakes. In movies and comics, when the hero is trying to defeat the villain, it’s usually because innocent lives are on the line. Typically in wrestling two wrestlers are fighting over a title. At WWF Invasion, the PPV that Jim Ross, the wrestlers, the McMahons and Paul Heyman said was the most important PPV in WWF history, what was at stake? Pride. God forbid The WWF or WCW/ECW gets their pride hurt because they lost a match. There was talk that Raw was going to become a WCW run show. Why not have that on the line. How about some titles other than the WWF Hardcore title? How about each McMahon kicking 50 percent of their stock into a pot and they wrestle for that? What if they wrestle for control of the WWF Commissioner spot? Then if the WCW/ECW win, they have a person of power in the WWF that is able to make cross promotion matches and is a great excuse for why the WWF allows WCW/ECW wrestlers on their programming in the first place! There are a ton of things other than pride that could be at stake. Besides, does Vince McMahon have any pride left after getting caught with his pants down a few weeks ago?The ECW Factor
Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam
There was dancing in the streets by ECW fans when Paul Heyman brought ECW back to life and joined the WWF Invasion. However, this is not the same ECW that ECW fans loved. Where is the extreme that Paul Heyman promised? Where is the barbed wire Jim Ross spoke of during the PPV? Where are the flaming tables? The WWF had its attitude. The ECW had a hardcore reputation. WCW….sucked. Why is it that all three federations are now watered down versions of their former glory?
Ok, this didn’t suck. In fact, it was easily the match of the night, everything the entire PPV should have been. My only problem with it is not the match itself but just knowing that despite having an incredible singles match, Jeff Hardy will be back to teaming up with Matt tomorrow night on Raw. The guy is ready to go solo. Instead he’s constantly fighting for the WWF tag titles, a title he’s already held multiple times. Again, I am a huge WWF mark, but even I can recognize when they are dropping the ball. Bounce, bounce, bounce.Refs
Nitpicky thing at best, but what wacky universe is the WWF tossing their coin in? Last time I checked, the law of averages on a coin flip was 50/50. Why is it that all the matches were refereed by WWF refs with the exception of one (Mick Foley is a WWF Superstar, despite what Jim Ross says). Another case of sweeping the WWF credibility under the rug. If the WWF really wanted to have all WWF refs, then Earl Hebner and Nick Patrick should have fought on Sunday night Heat and the winner’s federation got to referee the PPV, a very simple solution that would have made room for a different match to be on the PPV. Remember, wrestling is about making wrestling stars, not cheering for pudgy, middle aged men in polo shirts. Or is it…?WWF Invasion: The Michael Goodson Way
Here is how I would have booked the PPV. This is a much better card and gives the exact same results. Also, the winning federation gets control of the WWF Commissioner position, currently held by Stephen Regal.
- Raven and Tazz vs. Jericho and Tajiri – This is a hot opening tag match with all the big crowd popping spots. Chris Jericho wins after putting a green venom covered Tazz in the Lion Tamer. WWF 1 – WCW 0
- Matt Hardy Vs. Lance Storm – Another pure wrestling match between two very innovative wrestlers. Storm gets the pin fall. Seriously. WWF 1 – WCW 1
- Kane vs. Sean O’Hare – This can be a short match between two big powerhouses. O’Hare has the look of a champion but gets lost in the shuffle with the rest of the WCW unknowns. He gets a chance to shine here against Kane. Kane pulls out the win. WWF 2 – WCW 1
- Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam for the WWF Hardcore Title – This should be the exact same match they had on the PPV. It was perfect. WWF 2 – WCW 2
- APA vs. The Dudleys in a Flaming Tables match for the WWF tag championship - ECW is extreme and this proves it. The Dudleys win and reclaim their position as two guys you don’t want to piss off. WWF 2 – WCW 3
Lita and Trish vs. Torrie and Stacy in a Bra and Panties Match - This match was pure exotic frosting to begin with. However, I would have had Trish and Lita lose after Dawn Marie and Francine run in and attack them. Lita needs some singles competition and I need to see her butt. WWF 2 – WCW 4
- Angle vs. Rhyno in a steel cage match – Rhyno the freshman breakout star of 2001. Kurt Angle was the break out star of 2000. Why not put them together for an incredible match. Kurt Angle gets the win in a hard fought battle that puts Rhyno a little closer to a main event wrestler. WWF 3 – WCW 4
- Undertaker vs. DDP – They have this big brawl at the last PPV, but there is never any blow off match to the feud. What’s up with that? This one should have been a total no brainer. Taker wins. Kimberly jumps Sara back stage. WWF 4 – WCW 4
- Vince McMahon and Steve Austin vs. Shane McMahon and Booker T. We know that in real life Steve Austin is wrestling hurt to begin with so Vince McMahon gets his ass kicked for most of the match. Whenever Austin does get tagged in, he only wrestles for a few minutes and then tags McMahon in again for more beatings. Shane and Booker never go for the pin on McMahon, but rather, continue to clobber him. In the end, Austin turns on McMahon, gives Booker T the pin. WWF 4 – WCW 5 Shane and Stephaine now get to announce the new WWF Commissioner tomorrow night on Raw. Steve Austin also gets to cut a promo about how he bought Vince gifts and did everything Vince wanted, but in the end Vince wanted the old Stone Cold back. The new Stone Cold just wasn’t good enough. On future WWF television we see Austin hugging Shane McMahon and Stephanie.
There you have it. A totally different PPV using most of the same wrestlers and delivering the same Austin heel turn. The difference is that the PPV is more meaningful and each of the wrestlers gets more of an opportunity to shine.
The Surprise Factor
But wait, there is more. Part of being a wrestling fan is the surprise of not knowing what is going to happen. I mean we all know the winners of wrestling matches are predetermined, but how entertaining is it when we can guess the outcome? Everyone and their brother knew that Austin was going to turn on the WWF so that Vince can bring back The Rock. This sets up the Rock vs. Austin match at Wrestlemania. It’s a fine match but we’ve seen it a dozen times. Imagine that instead of Austin turning at the end of Invasion, Booker T does. Now Booker T, the WCW champ is in the WWF with Vince McMahon. Shane McMahon counters this treachery by hiring The Rock. The Rock returns as an egotistical heel full of himself after making it big in Hollywood. This scenario gives us a Summerslam card we’ve never seen before with The Rock vs. Booker T. Booker T. gets the chance to play with the big boys and it’s better for his career in the long run. Austin can face off against DDP for what DDP did to Debra. Now we’ve got two main event, cross promotional matches that the fans have never seen before.Surprises. Great matches. Heroes and villains. Isn’t that what it’s really all about?
I’ll be back to regular updates and catch up on all the latest news on Friday. Until then…
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