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Trainwrecks fascinate me.

Chairshots
6-18-02

R.I.P. Stone Cold Era: 1997-2002
Wrestling is a funny business. Just when on-air plotlines are striving to reach new lows, real life comes in and smacks everyone over the head with a steel chair. Suddenly, reality proves so much more interesting than Molly vs. Trish.

Last week, Stone Cold Steve Austin walked out on the WWE just hours before Monday Night Raw. On WWE Confidential last Saturday, Vince McMahon and Jim Ross told their side of the story.

Sitting there watching their interviews, I couldn't help but be convinced by their arguments. At times they seemed to be provoking Austin with comments like, "I'm personally hurt. Steve was a friend of mine. I have no idea what could possibly motivate him just to walk off the job like a child." But at the core, you knew that what Steve had done was wrong. Yes, the writing sucks, but you don't walk out on the people that need and depend on you. I've posted a transcript of Vince and J.R.'s comments here. So, Saturday night I got off the fence and took sides with the WWE. Then things got strange.

First a few rumors started appearing on other wrestling websites about there being a domestic disturbance at Austin's house. I don't usually pay attention to rumor and slander from sources I don't trust so I ignored it. Then the Reuters news service picked the story up, then AOL, then CNN. Turns out those rumors were right.

Late Saturday night/Sunday morning, Debra Williams reported to San Antonio police that Steve Williams (Austin) had attacked her following an argument. Police arrived at the couple's home and Debra told officers that Austin had beaten her on the head, back and legs, then stormed out of the house before police arrived. She noted to the police that it had happened before. Austin then called the home while police were there and spoke with them. Police told Austin he was in trouble and he should come home. Austin declined. In the end, Debra did not press charges against Austin so police are not looking for him. She has 90 days to change her mind about pressing charges. You can view the police report at TheSmokingGun.com.

Wow. There is really nothing else to say but wow. In less than a week Austin went from the biggest name in pro-wrestling to wife-beating fugitive. Last Tuesday I wanted Austin's differences to be settled with the WWE and for him to come back. Now, I don't care if I ever see him again. The sad thing is that we will see Austin again. It may be in the WWE, the NWA or it may be on FOX's Celebrity Boxing, but we will see him again.

Raw Thoughts
Meanwhile back in the WWE, life goes on without Austin. Oddly last night's two hour show was pretty much dedicated to the fact that Austin had walked out and how life goes on. Fortunately they had an ace up their sleeve.

Vince McMahon came out early in the show and gave a five-minute farewell promo to Austin. It was odd to watch because you knew this was one of those "we're not pretending" moments but it sounded like so many other McMahon vs. Austin promos. I couldn't have been the only one at home just waiting to have the sound of shattering glass and Stone Cold's music interrupt Vince's speech. The writers didn't help themselves by immediately teasing Austin's return only to bait and switch at the end of the show. Fortunately The Rock's return was big enough to not piss fans off.

I love The Rock and his promo just proves why he is the most electrifying man in wrestling EVER. The WWE needed the Rock to return now. Hopefully the Austin situation, the Rock's return and the increased media attention on the WWE will be enough to turn things around for the business we love to watch.

The rest of Raw was entertaining but was long forgotten after the Rock returned. Chris "Harvard" Nowitski had a successful WWE ring debut against Spike "Everyone Looks Good Kicking My Ass" Dudley. The writers continued to devalue the Hardy Boyz by showing it takes two of them to beat The Undertaker. Eddie Guerrero spoke the truth when he said his moment in the spotlight had been taken away when Austin left so he got put into a feud with Ric Flair.

Actually the WWE has handled Austin's departure quite well, with the exception of Guerrero. Why book Eddie in a match on Sunday with Ric Flair? Flair has lost to everyone, including Vince McMahon, so Eddie beating him will mean nothing. Flair beating Guerrero would just be sad for Guerrero.

If the Rock wants to be a part of King of the Ring, why not have him offer to take Austin's place against Guerrero? The Rock gives Guerrero the same main event rub that Austin provided and Guerrero can help Rock shake off any ring rust he may have. Flair vs. Guerrero just doesn't thrill me like Rock vs. Guerrero would.

Next Stop, White House
Speaking of walking out, Jesse Ventura announced that he will not seek a second term as governor of Minnesota. "I will not seek reelection again," Ventura said redundantly during an appearance earlier today on Minnesota Public Radio. Jesse has been getting a lot of bad media attention lately because of his son Tyrel who has been accused of having wild drinking parties inside the governor's mansion. (Wouldn't you?)

Check Your Local Listings
Bradshaw will be a guest on ABC's "Politically Incorrect" tonight. That's all I have to say about that.

WWE loses to WWF
England's House of Lords upheld a High Court ruling prohibiting WWE from using the WWF initials. "The ruling by the House of Lords, published on Monday without any accompanying reasoning, upholds a High Court ban last year preventing the wrestlers from using the WWF initials to which the environmentalists claimed sole ownership." I don't understand England's legal system either, but I think it's fair to say that all hope of the WWE going back to calling themselves the WWF just got shot down.

Divas: Undressed
WWE is currently scheduled to air a show called "WWE Fandango (Wild Fandango? Grrr)- Divas: Undressed" June 26th on TNN at 9PM ET. Vince McMahon made mention of it last night on Raw. The description of the show reads "A lingerie competition featuring the women of World Wrestling Entertainment. Ten contestants will be judged in three categories, with the winner being named WWE's "Sexiest Diva." WWE + Lingerie = One Happy FanboyPlanet.com Editor.

Mysterio Update
Rey Mysterio, Jr. is scheduled to be at the WWE Smackdown taping in Sacramento this Tuesday. It is not known at this point whether he will be appearing on TV, working a dark match, or just meeting with people backstage. Cross your fingers that he makes his WWE debut.

NWA: TNA 24 Hour Warning
NWA: Total Non-Stop Action has its very first pay per view tomorrow night. I just wanted to give you fair warning. The main event will be the "Gauntlet For The Gold" match to determine the new NWA Heavyweight Champion. 20 men, including Scott Hall, Ken Shamrock, Gran Apolo, Jeff Jarrett, Brian Christopher, Marcus "Buff" Bagwell, Konnan, Steve Corino, Rick Steiner, K Krush, Devon Storm, Vampire Warrior, Prince Justice, and Norman Smiley will be vying for the NWA World Title.

Other matches on the show include a 10 woman "Miss TNA Battle Royal," Christian York & Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps, AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn, & Low Ki vs. Jorge Estrada, Sonny Siaki, & Jimmy Yang and the much talked about Lenny & Lodi as the "The Rainbow Warriors" vs. The Shane Brothers as "The Big Johnsons." There will also be an NWA Legends Ceremony featuring Dory Funk Jr., Harley Race, Ricky Steamboat and Jackie Fargo and a whole handful of country music and NASCAR celebrities.

So if you're in the mood to watch a WWE alternative, a total train wreck or two guys in penis suits wrestle, call you local cable company tomorrow and tell them Michael Goodson of Fanboyplanet.com sent you.

You can thank me on Friday.

Michael Goodson

 

 

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