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Every Tuesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring.
Chairshots
6-07-02Smackdown Thoughts
Another week, another hit and miss show for the WWE on Thursday. Where Raw was a mess of Vince Russo's crappy booking style, Smackdown was a well booked but ultimately lackluster show.I'm so tired of watching Billy, Chuck, Rico and Rikishi fight for the tag belts. I'd rather they put the tag belts on hold until they can build up some decent tag teams rather than watch the effeminate white men and the chubby islander fight over them.
Hurricane's big surprise finally came to light as Nidia and Jamie Knoble both revealed themselves to be the masterminds. I've noticed the first big problem with Tough Enough winners in the WWE. How are we supposed to accept Nidia as a slutty manchaser when we had such an up-close perspective on her hard wrestling training and real life? Maven made it because his gimmick is that of the plucky young rookie. Slap a gimmick on him and it would look wrong; we know what a Mother-loving sweet heart he is. Anyway, Jamie needed a way in to the WWE and he got it. Whoopty doo.
Were there audio problems on the show last night? Odd patches of silence happened throughout the show when Michael Cole would ordinarily be rambling on. I also had trouble hearing Nidia. Maybe I should go visit my local Audiologist for a check up. Really, we all should.
I liked Edge's promo saying that he would be taking time off for an injury. That's so much more effective than just disappearing for a few months. Hey, anyone seen Lita?
Lance Storm vs. Kidman was an interesting 3 minute spot fest. I wish they could build a solid storyline around the two and then have them hash it out in a 20 minute pay per view match. Perhaps my ideas are too radical for this day and age.
While Vince McMahon struggles to turn his ship around, I offer him this bit of advice. It's time to fire people. The roster is filled with guys like Val Venis who had their day a few years ago and now fans are just burnt out on them. Getting rid of Venis, Godfather, Big Bossman, Hugh Morris, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, and Mark Henry would make room for new tag teams and other fresh faces to liven up the under card. Does anyone really want or expect Val Venis to win King of the Ring this year? I doubt it, but the WWE sure wants us to believe.
We Didn't Want Him Anyway
Goldberg appeared on 810 WHB this week and discussed his (lack of) wrestling future. Pro-wrestling is currently not a priority for him and he thinks that the current product is sick. It may be bad, but I wouldn't say it's sick… Goldberg doesn't want to be associated with the current product (WWE) and added that he hasn't really watched it since it became monopolized. But if he hasn't watched it how does he know…? Forget it. Big loser.
NWA Signs More Gimps
Rick Steiner, loser brother of Scott Steiner, has signed with the NWA: TNA to participate in the "Gauntlet for the Gold" match on the first PPV, June 19th. The more losers they sign, the more skeptical I am about their chance of success. Speaking of WWE rejects, they have also signed Buff Bagwell, Joel Gertner and "too controversial for WCW" tag team Lenny and Lodi.Rumor has it Lenny & Lodi will go by the name, I'm not making this up, "The Rainbow Warriors." Who will their stiff competition be for the big pay per view you ask? NWA has also signed two independent wrestlers from Florida named The Shane Brothers. They will go by the names Richard and Rod and be known collectively as "The Big Johnsons." Get it? Dick and Rod Johnson. (sides….splitting…..) Even more ridiculous, if PWTorch's rumor mill is to be believed, The Big Johnsons will wear flesh colored bodysuits with penis-tip-looking masks.
So, Mr. Armchair Booker, next time you're sitting at home thinking about how bad Raw is, re-read this little news gem and thank God "The Big Show" isn't a dick joke.
Maybe NWA: TNA is going for that "everybody wants to watch a train wreck" vibe.
Ratings
For the second straight week, Smackdown scored a measly 3.3 broadcast rating.What Ever Happened To…
"Harvard" Chris of Tough Enough 1 was backstage at RAW this past Monday. WWE is having thoughts of putting together a storyline involving past Tough Enough participants.
Who Turned Over His Rock?
Former WWF champion "Ultimate Warrior" Jim Hellwig has posted a long message on his official website where he discusses the prospect of a return to the ring as well as the death of former friend Davey Boy Smith."Davey died at 39 years of age because he chose to. The choices he was making led him to an early death. He, and he alone, killed himself prematurely. But few want to accept what is true. All the top Superstars use drugs. All wannabe superstars use them. Many fall into perverse habitual use, which leads to abuse. There are just as many drug-combination choices as there are drugs easily available to them. Painkillers, gimmicks to get up, gimmicks to get down, steroids, rejuvenation juice, liquor, marijuana, etc."
He talks about a lot of other stuff as well and unlike his usual posting this one isn't done in his Ultimate Warrior character. To read more, click here.
Shawn Michaels Speaks!
WWE.com published a new interview with Shawn Michaels this afternoon regarding his return to WWE TV and changes in his life. Here are the highlights:He got a call on Sunday about appearing on Raw Monday. His WWE Confidential interview, where he says he won't be coming back soon, was filmed months ago while the WWE production crew was in Texas filming Lita's surgery. He said his "HBK is dead" comment had more to do with his backstage persona than on-air character. He said he used to have a chip on his shoulder and had something to prove, but now he doesn't. He's in good shape right now but not ring shape. Shawn had stayed in a great shape for a while but didn't get called up to wrestle, so now he eats cookies with his two-and-a-half year old son every weekend. He said he misses Scott Hall and prays for him. He said he'd like to make a trip to Florida to see him if Hall would welcome him. Shawn said he looks so healthy because he has "accepted Jesus Christ as (his) Lord and Savior, and it has completely changed (his) life." He said he let Kevin Nash know he isn't going to be the same person he used to be, he won't go out and do "this or that" or use profanity. He said the use of profanity and vulgarity, which he was a big part of popularizing him five years ago, has "run its course." (Must …not …add…to …list …of …sins …by …making …smart …as …remark.) Shawn will spread the word of the Bible, but he won't "hit people over the head" with it. That's probably because hitting people over the head with the Bible was Brother Love's gimmick. (rim shot) See ya next week.
