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I never screwed Bret.

Chairshots
5-31-02

Smackdown Thoughts
Change doesn't happen overnight, as the WWE is learning. After a hot Raw on Monday they followed it up with a tepid Smackdown.

The WWE continued their hotshotting to get ratings by featuring an outstanding Edge vs. Kurt Angle cage match in the main event. While the match was awesome, it didn't need the Hulk Hogan run in at the end. One of the things that made Raw enjoyable was the lack of run ins. This week not only had the Hogan finish but also had the predictable Triple H/Undertaker "I interfere in your match, you interfere in mine" stupidity. One baby step back on the road to recovery.

Dawn Marie made her WWE debut, but are we really supposed to believe that she's a paralegal for the WWF? At least preface it with "I don't wrestle anymore" instead of ignoring her years in ECW. Anyway, she looked hot and I suspect that's all that matters. By request, a very unflattering picture of Dawn is featured for you to enjoy. Perverts.

For you Fit Finley fans out there (both of you), did you catch him on last night's Smackdown? He was in the gaggle of officials that came down to stop the Undertaker. Why are the tag titles not defended on both shows? Limiting them to just Smackdown means that a tag team like the Hardys will never be able to go for the belts. It also limits who can wrestle for the belts as right now the championship is held by and defended against jobbers.

Speaking of which, Faarooq + Bradshaw is cool. Faarooq without Bradshaw is dull. It's time to start fixing the failed experiments of the roster split. Reunite APA.

The entire cruiserweight division is built around The Hurricane. He's the only one with a long term plotline and the only one that is really given consistent mic time. Doesn't that just seem wrong when you know guys like Chavo, Tajiri, Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio are far more talented? Tajiri kind of has a feud but with Maven breaking his leg, that's over. Plus, how much mic time can a guy that doesn't speak English get?

One cruiserweight that is getting more mic time is Lance Storm. I hope he's on that list of wrestlers to push along with Guerrero and RVD.

Ratings
Last night's edition of Smackdown scored a 3.3 rating. That is down from last week's 3.6 and is the third all time lowest rating for the show. Last time they scored a 3.3 was on Thanksgiving of 2000 and 2001. Was pumpkin pie being server across the country while I watched Smackdown? Son of a b*tch.

Confidential, which replaced Excess on Saturday night, had a significant improvement in the ratings. It scored a 1.3 cable rating which made it the top rated show on TNN that day. The 5/25 edition of Heat scored a 1.0 cable rating.

Maven Got a Boo Boo
During his match with Christian last night, Maven suffered a broken fibula in his leg. He broke the bone early in the match with Christian doing a baseball slide but sucked it up and finished the bout. Early diagnosis is that he will be out of action for two months. Meanwhile Tough Enough contestant Jake fractured his hair last night after the winners of TE2 were announced. Kenny got raging drunk, fought Al Snow and nailed Ivory.

Tough Enough 2 Thoughts
The Tough Enough 2 winners were announced last night and needless to say the women kicked ass. While most people thought one man and one woman would be chosen, only the women won. It was funny to watch the reactions from everyone as the names were read. Right after Linda won, Jackie almost started crying since she figured that meant she lost. Both guys had that look of "what the f**k" when Jackie's name was read second. That's just the kind of entertainment you don't get watching the Oscars.

I can understand why the WWE didn't pick either guy. Jake has the look but doesn't sound too bright upstairs. Do we really need Lex Luger 2K? Kenny seemed cool, but he's got some off camera issues to work out. The last thing the WWE needs is a miniature black Scott Hall. I suspect we haven't heard the last from Jake and Kenny, as both seem determined to stay in the business.

Confidential
This Saturday's WWE Confidential will feature part two of the Shawn Michaels interview and a career retrospective of "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith.

Ross Report
Ross attended the memorial service for Davey Boy Smith and reported how eloquently his children, Georgia and Harry, spoke. Ross said that Harry, 16, would be given an opportunity to perform for WWE once he finishes high school. Ross also put over the potential that some of the Hart grandchildren have as well. Ross said it was the first time he had seen Bret Hart since 1997. He said Bret looked healthy and had nice things to say about Davey. Ross said he did not talk to Bret personally, and that a memorial service was not the place to "renew a strained relationship." He gave his condolences to the Harts and said that Smith's death "...seemed so unnecessary".

Chris Benoit is expected to be ready for full action at the end of June.

Edge dislocated his shoulder during the steel cage match this week. He had it reset by the Toronto Maple Leaf's team doctor. An MRI showed he has a torn labrum. It may require surgery. His in ring activity will be reduced until after surgery or rehab.

Referee Tim White's shoulder is feeling better, and the swelling has gone down from his bump at Hell in the Cell. He will have an MRI on Wednesday.

Scotty 2 Hotty sees Dr. Youngblood on June 11th, Lita sees him later in the month. Both are in hard collars and hope to be put in soft braces at their appointments.

The Tough Enough 2 winners will report to OVW for more training.

The Rock will wrestle at the June 15th Hawaii show and the August 10th Australia show, and J.R. says "most likely" at Summerslam on August 25th. Hawaii, Australia and SummerSlam? The Rock is really working himself to death.

Heat will feature several color commentators in the coming weeks. Ross believes that there is not "a lot of depth" in their broadcasters, and that perhaps someone they have not thought of will step into the role. coughfunakicough

J.R. mentioned that Earl Hebner's "You screwed Bret" chant has been passed on to his son, referee Brian Hebner, who was given "Your Daddy Screwed Bret" chants in Canada. Canadians are funny.

That's it for this week. See ya on Tuesday.

Michael Goodson