Every Tuesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring.

I'm raising my hand.

Chairshots
5-14-02

Raw Thoughts
There are days I wonder why I watch wrestling anymore. I used to love the storylines, and then I loved the athleticism. Then I watched because it made me laugh. Then I watched for those "holy s**t" moments. More and more the WWE has none of those.

Take last night's Raw for example. Brock Lesnar lost his first match and thus ended his push to the top. Is he being punished for his part in the fight with Cuirt Hennig or is this the way the writers really think they will be able to get him over? Is a tag match with Paul Heyman vs. The Hardys on the list of matches you want to see on a pay per view? Nope. It's not on mine, either.

The potential match of the pay per view this Sunday between Rob Van Dam & Guerrero got all of two minutes and one quick brawl. (Goodson bangs head against wall.)

Fifteen years ago Hogan vs. Flair would have been the match of the century. When they both joined WCW, WCW beat that horse until it was dead. Now it's just two old guys going through the motions. On the other hand, maybe WWE got it out of their system and at least we didn't have to pay for it.

Tommy Dreamer = MTV's Jackass. From what I've heard, it's his idea, too. Is the gimmick of "the good wrestler that wants to be world champion" just too cliché?

Booker T joined the NWO and proceeded to lose his first match. Good to see the NWO still isn't anything to get all worked up about. And why would Booker T put on a lumberjack outfit? Has the five-time WCW champion never seen a lumberjack match?

Speaking of Hogan, did you know something was up when Hogan appeared on TV wearing his little motorcycle helmet and super puffy leather jacket? Thank golly he was wearing those or he could have been really hurt when Undertaker tied him to the back of the motorcycle and dragged him along that deadly smooth floor and into those razor sharp cardboard boxes.

Who books this crap?

Honestly we have no one but ourselves to blame. We all wanted Stephanie McMahon off our TV and we got it. Now she has more time to devote to the writing staff and it shows.

The Band is Taking Five
WWE.com reported today that Jazz will be off TV for four to six months due the torn ACL in her left knee. It's apparently an old basketball injury that has returned. She has surgery scheduled for Thursday.

Costas vs. McMahon
Vince McMahon will return as a guest on the Bob Costas show this Thursday on HBO. There is rumored to be a Tuxedo match between the two in the second half.

Ratings
Smackdown finished with a 3.6 rating last week. Not great but a big jump up from the previous week's all time low of 2.9.

Rock May Be Subpoenaed
A South Florida attorney wants The Rock to make an appearance in court during the trial of a teen accused of drowning a 5 year old boy. Gorman Roberts, 17, is being tried as an adult for manslaughter for an incident that occurred in Pompano Beach where a 5 year old autistic boy was drowned. Roberts' attorney insists that he is not using a "wrestling defense" a la the infamous Lionel Tate trial, but that wrestling is a factor in the incident, and that he may attempt to subpoena The Rock for the trial. The attorney, Ellis Rubin, says a discussion of a Rock match on television led to the wrestling and contributed to the incident. If you think that's the dumbest thing you've ever heard, raise your hand.

Put your hands down now. The WWE released this statement in response: "WWE just learned of Mr. Rubin's statements today, in which he suggested he would be calling The Rock as a defense witness. It is obvious on its face that The Rock has nothing to do with this matter. This is another regrettable instance of media grandstanding by an attorney with a documented history of other frivolous claims, such as when Mr. Rubin blamed the television character Kojak when his client shot the next-door neighbor. This death occurred when a 5-year-old autistic boy was thrown into the muck of a Florida canal, while Mr. Rubin's 17-year-old client reportedly laughed at his drowning. It has nothing to do with professional wrestling."

How stupid are people? Robert's legal guardian, Carrie Mae Lovett, said he has never watched wrestling, and yet this lawyer is still pursuing this avenue of defense. I pray to God everyday for him to grant me the ability to kill people with my mind. Is that wrong?

That's it for me today. I'm out of town this week and next but I will try to stick to my somewhat regular schedule. I make no promises, however. Until I talk to you again, please don't get into any discussions of my column that might lead to throwing a child into the muck.

Now that's a way to sign off a column.

Michael Goodson