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Just call me a Keibler Elf.

Chairshots
4-26-02

Smackdown Thoughts
Raw and Smackdown were probably tied this week as far as quality. While I enjoyed Smackdown more, it had a lot of wasted segments. Let's start with the good stuff.

First off, the main event was great. We've seen Jericho vs. Triple H before, but it's usually entertaining. A longtime reader e-mailed me after the show to tell me that the match was better than both main events at Backlash. I can't argue with that. More and more it looks like the main event for Judgment Day will be a 4-way match.

Kurt Angle is comedy gold and I'm glad that his feud with Edge is going to continue. It should do a lot for Edge's career.

I like the team Maven and Al Snow. I wish they'd legitimize their tag team by calling them Team Tough Enough. This way guys like Bob Holly and Tazz can either join the team or feud with them because they weren't invited. Then Jackie and Ivory could get involved and it would almost be like the writers planned it. Instead Al and Maven pants Chuck and Buck, errr… Billy to show us they wear thongs. Does it seem like Smackdown is becoming Thongdown?

Speaking of thongs, I love Stacy Keibler.

Speaking of Stacy, I thought she had an effective segment with the new kid, Randy Orton. Randy is a third generation wrester that has been in the WWF developmental territory for a few years. He's got the look, that's for sure, but his match wasn't anything we haven't seen on Jakked. You ever notice how all the matches with rookies are mostly just hip tosses and drop kicks? What do they spend all that time learning besides that?

Speaking of training, Mark Henry is gone for what, two years? Why does he still suck? Why is he getting television time when guys like Lance Storm only get to appear in crowd cameos? Ok, Mark is strong. I'm not going to debate that, but being strong has never gotten a wrestler in the WWF over. It always took that something extra that Henry just doesn't have.

Ratings
For the fourth week in a row, Raw scored a 4.8 cable rating. Smackdown, however, continues to struggle, probably due to the long-term loss of The Rock. This week's show scored just a 3.4 broadcast rating. Smackdown obviously has more competition than Raw as it has to go head to head with NBC's comedy lineup, Survivor and CSI. Last night was also the season finale of some show called The Bachelor on ABC. Apparently it's rating doubled for whatever reason.

Jobs? Who Needs a Job?
The WWF is once again hiring, with job listings on HotJobs.com for a Senior Accountant, Marketing Manager, Planning & Analysis Manager, Composer, Accounts Payable Processor and a Freelance Systems Engineer. If unemployment isn't good enough for you, get off your butt and apply for one. Maybe then your Mother and Wife will stop nagging you and making little to-do lists full of chores that you really didn't expect to ever have to do again 'cause you're married now.

That Girl Got Injured
WWF.com is reporting that Sharmell Sullivan (formerly known as Paisley, currently know as the backstage Smackdown interviewer) tore her ACL last week while training in Ohio Valley Wrestling. She will be out of action anywhere from four to six months. Her knee buckled while working in the ring, and she is going to visit Dr. James Andrews and will have surgery, putting her on crutches for at least the first month of her recovery.

Chyna in Japan
Chyna's official website (bodybyjoanie.com) released a statement announcing that Chyna is going to be the first regular female performer for New Japan Pro Wrestling in its thirty years of existence. Her first appearance will be at NJPW's May 2 Tokyo Dome.

Scott Steiner
Scott Steiner met with a doctor selected by the WWF earlier this week and was cleared to wrestle. Steiner is still suffering from drop foot syndrome but can wrestle if he wears a brace. Drop foot syndrome is a condition where the victim is not able to control the movement in one of their feet and it flops and drags around unless heavily taped into a comfortable walking position. The injury came about due to a considerable amount of nerve damage suffered some time ago. Steiner is scheduled to work the May 2nd New Japan show (with Chyna.)

5 Questions with The Rock
The Rock continued his media tour last night with an appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. As is tradition, Craig played 5 Questions with the Rock and I reprint them now for you to play along.

1. This German heavy metal uber group took "Rock Ya Like A Hurricane" to # 28 in 1984? 2. What's the name of Fred Flintstone's daughter? 3. Which two people played the "The Incredible Hulk?" 4. Match Game (fill in the blank) Craig holds a sign that reads "FULL _________" 5. Let's test your acting chops. Imagine you raised a butterfly from birth, release into the wild and wish it well, while crying on the inside. (not technically a question.)

Answers:
1. The Rock was able to sing the song, but could not answer The Scorpions. (get it?) 2. The Rock correctly answered "Pebbles" 3. The Rock correctly answered Bill Bixby & Lou Ferrigno. (extra fanboy credit if you mentally point out that only Lou Ferrigno played The Incredible Hulk.) 4. The Rock guessed "frontal." Craig was expecting "moon" or "nelson." 5. The Rock does it and is pretty funny.

Ross Reports Injuries
Jim Ross posted his weekly column on WWF.com today, but it was mostly injury reports. Here is the quick and dirty recap:

Lita will miss 6-9 months due to neck surgery but will return at 100%.

DDP continues to have issues with his spine and will visit Dr. Youngblood on May 16th.

Scotty 2 Hotty will undergo neck surgery May 7th and is expected to be out for about a year.

Raven could lose some teeth due to a hard kick in the mouth.

Billy Gunn is working despite a hamstring injury.

Kane will have the stitches removed from his arm on Tuesday. He is doing well following bicep surgery.

Hulk Hogan continues to work despite a rib injury.

Chris Benoit should be ready to go by the end of June.

Kevin Nash is still about 6 weeks away from returning.

Saturn is doing therapy for his ACL and is also feeling shoulder pains.

Rhyno has a 6 month checkup in a few weeks.

Mike Awesome is 4-6 weeks away from returning.

Kanyon is 2-4 weeks away from returning.

That's it for today. Come back on Monday for a surprise. There won't be a new Book It, but there will be a very special column about my life and times. No, seriously.

Michael Goodson