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03/27/03

WrestleMania is the biggest wrestling extravaganza of the year, the focal point and culmination of a year's worth of storylines. Because it is the crown jewel of wrestling pay-per-views, the WWE usually tries to pull out all the stops and give the fans the big matches they want to see. And for once this year, it's good to see the WWE pull business as usual..

Undertaker & Nathan Jones vs. Big Show & A-Train
Okay, this ho-hum tag match is hardly a match that fans have been clamoring for. The surprising thing here is that The Undertaker is not booked to wrestle in a singles match. His string of WrestleMania singles victories is about to come to an end.

Hard to believe that I'm actually in favor of an Undertaker vs. Big Show match instead of this one, but I am. Keep the other partners in the corners and following Undertaker's win, have Nathan Jones turn on Taker.

This match will not last as long as the cumulative intros for each man and the participants are not going to put on a wrestling clinic either. This gets my vote for "lowest expectation" Match on the card.

Prediction: Taker and Jones win.

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio
Lean mean cruiserweight machine Matt Hardy defends his title against Old Lizard Eyes, Rey Mysterio Jr. Back in the old WCW days, they always had a cruiserweight match on their card that silently stole the show away from the main event talent. This could be that match. Both men are at the top of their game right now and should perform well.

Prediction: I think that there will be enough title changes and babyface victories in other matches on the card that some heel should probably retain his belt. It's Matt Hardy's lucky day by default!

Los Guerreors vs. Team Angle vs. Benoit & Rhyno
Smackdown Tag Team Titles
Now here's a tag match that you can tell your grandkids about. All six men are masters in their wrestling style. Eddie and Chavo have been hot lately, but their babyface popularity doesn't suit them as well as being heels did. Solid in the ring, Team Angle has yet to prove themselves on the mic. Benoit and Rhyno are the two biggest superstars waiting for their next big push (How many years have we been saying that about Benoit?), if both men can stay healthy.

Prediction: Benoit and Rhyno win the belts and set up a long term feud with Los Guerreros.

Kane & RVD vs. Lance Storm & Val Morley
Raw Tag Team Titles
Runner up for the lowest expectation match on the card is this one. This just feels like a match destined to main event Sunday Night Heat. RVD and Kane have yet to click as a tag team. Morely and Storm and in the same uninspired boat they were in last year.

This match will be an excellent time to beat the crap out of the Fanboy Planet WrestleMania Trivia Contest winner, Peter Yom of San Jose, CA.

Prediction: Storm and Morley narrowly escape losing the tag titles and some lucky reader experiences the simultaneous Rosa/Garcia nut shot. Everyone else laughs sympathetically.

Sort of.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
Young Chris Jericho idolized young Shawn Michaels and now years later they are set to kill each other at WrestleMania.

Honestly, that's the way the world should be.

Michaels has a rich WrestleMania history and will give it his all since it may be his last appearance. Jericho can usually rise to the occasion and should do so given that he is wrestling an all time great. Even my wife predicted that this will be an awesome match and I don't think it has yet even been confirmed that Shawn will wrestle shirtless.

Prediction: Shawn should lose for all the logical reasons. He's at the end of his career and should be putting over younger wrestlers. Still, my gut says he'll win. In my mind, he'll always be the sly, cocky, backstage politics abusing Shawn Michaels of old.

Jazz vs. Victoria vs. Trish Stratus - Hot 3 Way Action
Women's Title
Once you get past the image of a hot 3-way with these three babes (well, 2 ½ babes) the reality is it's just another women's title match. Trish has been chasing the championship for months now and will probably get it here.

Look for the match late in the card to break up the multiple main events.

Prediction: Trish wins.

Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
Finally a match that lives up to its hype. Hogan vs. McMahon is a match "20 years in the making."

The thing that tickles me both about it is that in the promos leading up to the match, McMahon has done nothing but tell the truth. Hogan is a political backstabber who is only interested in his own gain and the success of his friends. Hogan did leave the WWF, join WCW and do everything he could to put Vince out of business. Hogan did testify against McMahon during McMahon's steroid trial.

Despite all of it, McMahon is the heel and Hogan is the leathery lovable Rip Torn that fans love to cheer.

The match itself will be a cookie cutter Hogan match with McMahon getting in plenty of offense. It will be just as spectacular as Hogan vs. (Insert any name other than Andre or Macho Man here).

Prediction: Most experts are saying that McMahon's ego will book him to win on Sunday but Vince is no dummy. He knows that WrestleMania is where the good guys win and the villains get their comeuppance. Hogan wins.

Booker T vs. Triple H
Raw World Title
Booker must win! Booker has to win!

Booker will lose like everyone else Triple H must defeat in order to retain his top level position with the company.

As the only heel to ever win the main event at WrestleMania I just don't see Triple H letting himself get beaten in an undercard match to Booker T.

Booker has everything working against him here. He got the pin fall on Triple H on Monday night which usually means a loss the following Sunday. Triple H has done nothing to push booker in his promos and had gone out of his way to degrade him.

The only way Booker can win is if Triple H has one of his "I'll show everyone what a team player I am by letting him beat me" moments which will be followed by a Triple H vs. Booker T squash match in the near future.

Prediction: By a nose, Triple H.

Rock vs. Stone Cold
I'll give the writers credit on this one. They have done everything they can to breathe new life into this old feud, except writing new material. Drive a truck to the ring? Seen it. Smash The Rock's guitar? Seen it. Rock gives Stone Cold a Stunner? Seen it.

The Rock has never beaten Stone Cold at WrestleMania. OH MY! What an interesting plot twist.

Yawn.

The Rock has been entertaining since his return, unlike the Same Old Steve Austin. With rumors of A) The Rock leaving the WWE after this match and B) The Rock moving into a feud with Goldberg, I just don't see any reason to have him win.

Winner: Stone Cold.

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
Smackdown World Title
And finally the match that everyone is looking forward to with equal anticipation and dread.

Kurt Angle is injured and needs surgery and a year's worth of recovery to properly heal. Two weeks ago this match was canceled because doctors warned Kurt that he could cripple himself by continuing to wrestle. Regardless, Kurt insisted he have this match because the show must go on.

Wait, wasn't this the plotline to one of the Rocky movies? Or at least WrestleMania XIV?

It's a storyline so good, it seems scripted and yet most fans are really just hoping that Kurt is able to walk away in the end.

Prediction: Great match with a ton of "Oh My God, Kurt is dead" moves. Lesnar wins the title. Duh.

All in all WrestleMania will be the best PPV the WWE puts on all year. It has some good storylines, intriguing match-ups and a very talented roster. Too bad only a handful of wrestling critics and hardcore fans will see it.

Michael Goodson

 

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