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Every Tuesday and Friday we give you the scoop on what's happening in and out of the wrestling ring. Somedays it's even funny!
Chairshots
2-1-02
Smackdown Thoughts
The WWF followed up a good Raw with a good Smackdown. Good ring action in the main event with Rock & Triple H vs. Angle & Undertaker. Vince McMahon and Ric Flair continue to build the hype of the NWO return. I criticize the WWF writers all the time, but they are doing a nice job of building the NWO up as monsters with nice pacing and logical, episodic booking. Each show leaves you wanting to see what the next step in the path is.Goldust promised to reveal who he is stalking on Monday, a smart move because the Goldust character has only worked when he's been stalking someone. Typically once that feud is over, Goldust begins sliding down the wrestling ranks and is then let go by the company. I think most people are predicting Rock will be Goldust's next victim since Goldust is all obsessed with movies and Rock is an actual movie star.
My prediction is that it will be L. L. Cool J. He was hanging out with the A.P.A. last night and Rollerball is getting released soon. Plus I hear that he can knock you out if his mama tells him to do so. If Vince Russo were still booking, my prediction would be true and L.L. Cool J's mama would be his valet.
One thing that did bother me from Smackdown was Chris Jericho's match with Tazz at the top of the show. Jericho and the WWF writers have done a great job building him up as the cowardly world champ, but you can tell that he has yet to become a main eventer in the eyes of the WWF because his match was first on the show. When was the last time you saw Rock or Steve Austin wrestle in the opening match? That just bothered me from a credibility stand point.
Ratings
RAW scored only a 4.5 rating this week which is down just a bit from the 4.6 last week. Actually that is good news since last week was the first Raw following a pay-per-view and that show normally gets a higher rating. Since there was only a slight drop off in viewers this week, I think the WWF can call the rating good news.NWO ETA?
Speaking of the next logical step in the NWO return, many sources are saying that the NWO won't arrive in the WWF until No Way Out. The pay-per-view is still 2 weeks away which means the WWF would have to come up with ways to delay the return for 4 more shows. That's a lot of time in the holding pattern. I'd expect the NWO to show up before then. And the next person that tells me that the Acronym for No Way Out is NWO and that that is some grand master plan by the WWF will get slapped. The February pay-per-view was given the name No Way Out in 1998 and had/has nothing to do with secret messages from the WWF to your brain.NWO Details
The contracts for Kevin Nash and Scott Hall apparently call for them to work about 12 dates a month. That doesn't sound like much, but once the WWF splits its roster, any given wrestler will only have to appear on one show a week, one pay-per-view a month and a handful of house shows. Hall and Nash will both apparently make around $600,000 per year. Hulk Hogan's contract is apparently worth around $1,000,000 per year.One interesting note is that the WWF sent messages out to cable companies this week about Wrestlemania. This is what it said:
"A reminder concerning WrestleMania X-8 on March 17th: the SRP (suggested retail price) is $39.95, which is the same as last year. This live show will be four hours rather than the normal three hours for the other live monthly WWF events. WrestleMania X-8 is poised to be the biggest PPV wrestling event in history as Hulk Hogan will soon make his return to the WWF ring and will be the centerpiece of WrestleMania X-8." Hulk Hogan will be the "centerpiece of WrestleMania X-8" ? Am I the only wrestling fan that gets shivers when he reads that? I hope the WWF is just trying to build up Wrestlemania in the eyes of the cable companies that don't pay enough attention to wrestling to know that Hulk Hogan is no longer a generational icon.
On the other side of the "NWO: Good or Bad?" coin is Kevin Nash, trying to use his renewed backstage power to push for Shawn Michaels to be a part of the new NWO. Michaels' return to active wrestling has been rumored and close to happening in the past, but it has never worked out. Even now there are many doubts that he will in fact join with the NWO, but that that doesn't stop Nash.
God bless that big lazy dope for trying.
Win a Date with Stacy Kiebler
Stacy Keibler's name was brought up on Howard Stern's radio show Wednesday. In a recent appearance, she had said that she would go to Scores (Howard's favorite nudie bar) with the Stern group one night. Stern said that Stacy had to cancel going because WWF management thought it wouldn't be good for her image. Then Howard bitched about the WWF.What really happened was that the WWF had her booked for other appearances on the night that Stern wanted her to come to Scores, so she couldn't join in the fun. However, Stacy will be on Stern's show next week while he broadcasts from Las Vegas. She will take part in a "Win A Date" segment on the show. Line forms behind me and if I don't win, I'd gladly pay for sloppy seconds.
Sable Syndrome
Joanie Laurer (Chyna) has been all over Hollywood trying to persuade casting agents to give her a shot, without much luck. "It's difficult to get people to see me," Laurer tells TV Guide. That's despite her recent Playboy cover, previous parts in "3rd Rock From the Sun" and "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch," and an upcoming episode of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" "My goal is not to win an Academy Award. I just want to entertain people and have fun. That's what Arnold Schwarzenegger did." (Well, that's what he was doing 10 years ago...)Joanie was recently seen on TNN's Robot Wars. Mick Foley usually hosts the American version of the show, but TNN also got the rights for some of the produced-for-the-UK episodes. Chyna was spliced into the episodes instead of the usual British host. Hey, it's better than anything I've seen Sable or Sunny do post WWF.
Quickies
When the WWF splits its roster in March, they are planning to heavily push the cruiserweight division. Jaime Knoble and Shannon Moore are expected to be among the wrestlers called up to the WWF prime roster for pushes in that division. Stacy on 'Late Late Show' this Friday: Stacy Keibler was going to be a guest on "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" tonight, but had to cancel. She will reschedule for sometime later in February. Two canceled appearances in one week? I think she's avoiding me. WWF pay-per-view rates will go up five dollars after WrestleMania from $29.95 to $34.95. When will companies learn that in times of economic strife, rasing the rates is not the answer? A lot more people would be buying pay per views if the price went down to 19.95. But who am I to question Vince McMahon and his millions of dollars? Jessie Ventura: The Musical
For those of you that laughed at the idea of Buffy: The Musical, set your laugh meter to high for the Broadway musical based on the life of Jesse Ventura. It's been in preproduction for a while now. Once Ventura gives approval on a revised Act Two, and a final draft is created, the play will be one step closer to making it to the stage.Both the Associated Press and Reuters published articles about the show, with the AP quoting Ventura as saying "I wanted more gutty and gritty and we're starting to move that way. Instead of being milquetoast and G-rated we're starting to go for R-rated. Let's make it who I really am.'' A list of proposed songs for the play, and I'm not making this up, includes:
Do You Like the Rolling Stones? The Heart is a Muscle You're Different Hooyah! (About his time as a Navy Seal) Take the World By Storm (Ventura telling his parents his dreams) Don't Know the Meaning of Can't (Jesse at a press conference) Retaliate in '98 (Jesse at a political debate).
But wait, it gets better. The play includes Vince McMahon as a character, singing the song "Sign With Me", about courting Jessie in to a WWF contract. God only knows if any of this will actually see the light of day or an audience. Between this and Hulk as the centerpiece of WrestleMania X-8, I really should have made this a "signs of the apocalypse" themed column.Book It
Each week (almost) in Book It we help the struggling WWF creative team with a few ideas on how to get talent that has been stuck in a rut over with the WWF fans.
Maven was the first ever male winner on the WWF/MTV reality show Tough Enough. More than any of the other contestants, Maven had ring ability, charisma and the ability to cut a decent promo. Since winning the contest, Maven has made a few sporadic appearances on WWF television but spends most of his time continuing his training in the WWF developmental territory. In January Maven got the call to join in the 30 man Royal Rumble. Maven shocked everyone when he dropped kicked WWF 11 year veteran and American Bad Ass Undertaker out of the ring. Instantly we all knew that Maven had just pulled the upset of the year, but also that he was about to receive the beating of his life. Undertaker destroyed Maven throughout the arena and left him for dead. However, Maven was never actually eliminated from the Rumble and many fans thought it was a loose end the WWF had to tie up.
Last Monday on Raw, Chirs Jericho granted Maven a title shot. Fans cheered for another upset, but it was not to be. After losing the match, Undertaker also made his way to the ring and continued to beat the living crap out of Maven. So where does this leave the young underdog? Well, it never hurts a wrestler to rub elbows with the Undertaker and Chris Jericho, but for now, Maven will probably take a step back and resume his training. The WWF feels that the time just isn't right for Maven to become a superstar and I say the timing will never be better.
Let's rewind the clock to this past Monday's Raw. Royal Rumble has been over for a week and Maven has yet to be seen since his beating at the hands of the Undertaker. Instead of getting booked in a consolation match with Chris Jericho, Maven makes his way to the ring sometime during the middle of the show for an interview. He gets on the mic and issues a challenge to Triple H tonight. He claims that since he was never officially eliminated from the Royal Rumble, Triple H should do the right thing and put his title opportunity at WrestleMania on the line against Maven tonight. Before Triple H can respond, Ric Flair's music plays (crowd goes crazy) and Flair walks to the ring. Flair says that yes, Maven was never officially eliminated from the Royal Rumble but he has yet to earn the right or respect in the wrestling business to challenge someone of Triple H's caliber.
"Kid, in order to be the man, you have to beat the man and you haven't beaten anyone. You got lucky with the Undertaker." Flair tells Maven that he will grant him a shot at Triple H's title opportunity at Wrestlemania if Maven can prove to Flair that he deserves it. In order to do that, he has to beat any WWF superstar in the ring before No Way Out on 2/27. Maven agrees.
On Smackdown, Maven has his first match against Lance Storm. I picked Storm because Storm is a great technical wrestler and can make Maven look good despite his inexperience. Plus Storm needs a win. Storm beats Maven.
The following Raw, Maven gets his next match against Kurt Angle. Like Storm, Angle can carry the newbie to a watchable match and since I'm just going to book another loss for Maven, all he really has to do is sell his ass getting kicked for 5 minutes. Angle wins.
The very next Smackdown, Maven takes on Test. Now Test isn't a fancy wrestler like Storm and Angle. He's basically going to throw Maven around and kick him every now and then. Maven can start to show a little offense, but ultimately gets pinned.
On the next Raw, Maven meets backstage with Ric Flair and tells him that getting a win over a WWF superstar is harder than he thought. Flair tells Maven to stick with it, but that time is running out if he wants a shot at Triple H. Later in the show, Maven takes on Raven in a hardcore match. Raven is his opponent this week not just so that Jerry Lawler can make Maven/Raven jokes (what about me?...what about Maven?) but Raven is at heart a very talented wrestler. Plus, the hardcore style matches don't usually require a lot of mat wrestling, so it can cover up any weaknesses in Maven's wrestling skill.
The two men brawl around for a while and it eventually (as most hardcore matches do) leads backstage. Raven has the upper hand for most of the match but in a fluke moment Maven is able to bash Raven over the head with a chair. Raven is out cold on the ground while Maven stands above his body looking stunned. He looks at the chair, touches some blood on his head, looks at it and says "I'm hardcore?" He looks down at Raven, realizes he should pin him, gets the three count and then yells "I'M HARDCORE!!" Maven has had an epiphany.
On the next Smackdown, Maven goes to Ric Flair and tells him that he did what Ric said, won a match, and that he is now ready for his match against Triple H. Additionally, Maven wants it to be a hardcore match for Triple H's title shot at WrestleMania. Flair has a little laugh and tells Maven that he thinks he got lucky, but Flair agrees to give Maven the match. Flair says, "but kid, I told you weeks ago that in order to be the man, you have to beat the man and I don't think you've beat the man just yet." Flair tells Maven that he has some unfinished business with someone before he can move on to Triple H. Flair books a hardcore match between Undertaker and Maven for No Way Out. Maven looks scared but reasures himself with his new mantra and key to success, "I'm hardcore!"
No Way Out rolls around and the match starts. Undertaker pretty much has his way with Maven for the entire match. Maven is the victim of so many brutal looking spots (Last Ride off the stage, Tombstone on concrete, wicked chairshots, etc...) that for a while it looks like a Cactus Jack match gone wrong. Maven gets in a few shots but they only seem to make the Undertaker madder. Right before the Undertaker can pin Maven, The Hardy Boyz, Lita, Scotty Too Hotty and all the other mid-card wrestlers that the Undertaker has destroyed recently rush to ringside with bats and begin to treat Undertaker like an eight year old treats a pinata. They leave Undertaker out cold, put a near death Maven on top of him, 1, 2, 3 and Maven gets the win. The lightweights carry an unconscious Maven backstage.
Maven misses the next night on Raw due to injuries, but Ric Flair does say that the Maven vs. Triple H match will happen on Smackdown. Smackdown rolls around, Triple H beats Maven with ease and Triple H continues on his road to WrestleMania.
So, how is this better than what the WWF has done with Maven so far? Well, for one, Maven's post-WrestleMania fallout has already come and gone eight days aftert the event. This storyline keeps Maven in the spotlight for a full month and another big time pay-per-view match. Maven has had the chance to wrestle with six veteran wrestlers rather than one but he never really gets in any offense, therefore he never damages the credibility of the veterans.
The whole "Undertaker squashes mid-card wrestlers" has a pay off when they jump him and Undertaker has renewed his burning desire for respect in the WWF. From my storyline end, Maven can continue to be a part of the WWF mid-card if they want him to or he can drop back to the WWF developmental territory for more training. Either way, he's been given the opportunity to take the ball and run with it against some of the big boys in WWF. His success from this point on is up to him.
I'm Michael Goodson and I'll see you Tuesday.
