I offer the WWE some sound strategeries.

Chair Shots

01/30/04

Welcome to a very special Chairshots as I present the "State of the WWE" address.

I retired from officially writing this column a little over a year ago because at the time the quality of wrestling was so poor that it seemed a waste of time to write a bi-weekly column about the horse s*** the WWE was serving up to fans (I'm looking at you, "Chief" Morley and you, "Bling Bling" Buchanan).

Since Chris Garcia asked me to fill in for him on the wrestling front today, I thought it might be interesting to examine how the WWE has changed over the last 13 months and give the fans with less patience than myself an update on the product we all lost interest in.

Well, first of all, I never gave up watching wrestling completely. I watch Raw and Smackdown each week as I have done for the last 20+ years. (oh, god…*cry*)

While I still watch, I've made a conscious effort to turn off the critic in my head and just tried to sit back and enjoy wrestling the way I used to before I became a student of the game. Well, I'm here to tell you that you just can't go back. Once you cast a critical eye on something, you'll be forever critical. I gave up my childlike innocence to wrestling too long ago to ever get it back.

(Points to doll to show where wrestling touched him.)

But it's not just me. Today's fans are smarter and have far more access to the inner workings of the WWE and the potential plotlines the WWE is formulating. I dare say that if you are reading this, there is a very high probability that you knew before Raw aired on Monday that Chris Benoit was going to jump to that show.

This is an aspect of fandom that the WWE has yet to solve. Their stories are not compelling enough to watch even if fans know the probable outcome, nor are the plotlines complex enough to keep anyone guessing about what will happen two or three PPVs down the road. There are no surprises left in wrestling.

In a less enlightened time, they would have worked it out on Jerry Springer.

On the other hand, the WWE writing staff of both shows now has another year of experience under their belt, and it shows. Storylines are less boring than they were at the end of 2002, and they have accomplished it by going back to basics. The "shock" angles like the necrophilic rape of Katie Vick are gone and have been replaced with far more believable feuds based on history and jealousy (HHH vs. Shawn or The Guerreros' feud).

It's a simplistic formula, but better in the long term. Rather than upset core fans in a poor attempt to attract new fans, the WWE keeps the die-hards happy.

The WWE still has yet to find the next big thing, and I'm not talking about Brock Lesnar. The HHH vs. Shawn and Guerreros feud are fine if you have a bigger and better plot line driving the company a la Austin vs. McMahon or Hogan vs. Rock. Most fans have already seen HHH fight Shawn a million times and probably saw The Guerreros feud back when it was a WCW mid card feud. It's solid entertainment at times, but nothing that's really going to put butts in seats or raise television ratings.

The WWE has also not had great success with its "proven" superstars. The Rock isn't around often enough to really make any kind of long term impact in the company. Steve Austin hasn't been able to recapture any of the magic he used to have and no longer performs an active wrestling role. Goldberg's run in the WWE has to be considered a flop.

Ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?

Fans are so tired of HHH that it's just disheartening to see the WWE still pushing him (an advantage you have when you're the boss' son-in-law). Ric Flair is still hanging around, but is a shadow of his former self. Shawn Michaels can still go in the ring but needs to find a way to freshen up his persona.

Mick Foley is back, cutting a great promo last Monday. But how long he will be back and what kind of match he can have with Randy Orton is still an unknown factor. Mick's forte has never been great wrestling but rather a series of mini car wrecks strung together to fill up a 20-minute match (albeit enjoyably so). Undertaker and Kane both played out all the tricks in their bag long ago, leaving two guys who have nothing left but to change costumes to get fan reaction.

Somewhere just under the established generation of superstars are guys like Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit. Kurt has been phenomenal over the last few years and one of the great joys left in wrestling both on the mic and in the ring, but he is becoming increasingly injured and his long-term future is in question. Brock Lesnar is a champ, and the weight of Smackdown can often be seen riding on his back.

Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero are finally getting their moment in the spotlight, but that trend just started this week and could change as quickly as the tide. Chris Jericho is stuck in quicksand on Raw, unable to escape the lame Trish/Christian angle he's in right now. Booker T is another guy with the talent to be in the main event, but has been saddled with brainless plotlines and fed to guys with lesser talent in an effort to get them over. I believe I was saying the same thing about Booker T a year ago.

Royal Flush or just down the toilet?

The only true main event star the WWE has produced in the last year has been John Cena, but the WWE is not quite ready to pull the trigger on Cena to make him a World Champ. Is he the ace up the sleeve of the WWE or the card that fell off the table and no one has noticed yet? I assume the former, but I wouldn't bet the house on it

So, with a mixed bag of plot lines and a hit and miss top tier of Superstars, is the WWE any better than it was 13 months ago? Well, yes…

…and no. Go ahead and call me a non-committal pussy. I'm used to it.

The hodgepodge booking of the WWE right now is visible if you look at the 2004 Royal Rumble as a microcosm. The Dudley Boys lost their appeal as a team over a year ago and breaking them up didn't work for either of them. They've gone from one of the most popular tag teams in the history of the WWE to one step away from being in an old-timers' match. HHH and Shawn Michaels had a great match, but neither man can afford to lose because that would diminish their drawing power with WrestleMania right around the corner. Good match, flawed booking.

Eddie and Chavo are great talents but they were given less time on a PPV than they are during the average Smackdown match. Rey Mysterio and Jamie Nobel fall into the same category. Why give the best workers less than 4 minutes to work a match? The shortage of time given to their match is made even worse when the WWE has to know that the finish to the HHH vs. Shawn match is going to anger fans. Give a guy that paid thirty bucks to see these matches a freaking break.

If you believe in Holly, clap your hands...

While it was refreshing to see Hardcore Holly get a title shot, did anyone actually believe that he was going to beat Brock Lesnar? Doubtful.

But then by all accounts, the Royal Rumble match itself was a great success, as was the mini-Rumble match on Smackdown. Fans weren't able to point to one obvious guy as the probable winner of the main event and the match itself told a better story than any of the promos leading up to the PPV.

The WWE has found ways to push the right guys in the right ways, but still hasn't wrestled in all those other pesky details that make the show a complete success.

So the WWE mimics the US economy. It's in recovery, but not a recovery that is going to turn the opinion of the disgruntled masses. Unfortunately, we don't have the option of voting for new figureheads in the WWE like we do in America. Instead, come November, we will still have Vince McMahon and his gaggle of writers trying to make sense of it all and find a solution that works.

And for your sake, I'll be watching.

Next week, look for Chris to return to his regularly scheduled column. I'm also told there may be a special column by Chris entitled "Gerbils, Midgets & the Unmentionable Things That Happened in the Closet: How I Spent My Day Off" sometime next week. Be sure and look for that.

Until next time…

 

Michael Goodson