Royal Rumble 2004

01-26-04

Some people get excited about Christmas.

The undercard of the Rumble proves a saying that I have held about major shows for a long time: Good is seldom good enough.

There was nothing blow-away on an undercard that showed a lot of promise. There was good build, some great workers, and a nice story to be told. But everything up to the main event felt rushed, with nothing getting the attention it deserved.

The Dudleys vs. Flair and Bautista was a seriously flawed Tables match with nothing going right. You don't build a match like this and go four minutes; it just doesn't work. At least Coach got wailed on by the Dudleys so we didn't have to deal with him. I think everyone was off their game n this one because they knew they didn't have much time to build the match properly.

Rey Mysterio and Jamie Noble get three minutes for their Cruiserweight Title match. It's sad to see such talent wasted in these shorties, and they didn't do what Jushin Liger and Ultimo Dragon did when they had two minutes and have a fast and great match. Nidia tripped Noble "accidentally" and Rey got the win. This should lead to Nidia coming clean that she can indeed see.

Eddy and Chavo had a good match, though they didn't get the time to make it a great match. Chavo did hit his beautiful Swinging DDT, a move he does better than almost anyone in the world. Eddy got the pin and Eddy lost his temper and tied up Chavo Sr. in the ropes while he busted open Chavo, Jr.. Way too short, and things weren't quite up to the standards that these two usually work.

Supposedly, Benoit is going to RAW, so they had a little run-in between Evolution and Benoit to point out that Benoit "has never won the big one." Well, he did, albeit briefly, in WCW the day before he left the company. Flair was great here and if they don't give Benoit the belt at Mania, he's fully buried.

Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar ended too suddenly to make Holly a star, but it wasn't a bad six-minute world title match, at least once they got beyond the bear hug segment. They opened with a little brawling on the ramp, went for the bear hug segment, Holly got a little offense, including a great full nelson segment, and then Brock hit the F5. The Full Nelson is a move that I want to see make a big comeback.

Michaels and HHH had a very strong match until the finish that the crowd hated, the audience at home hated, and all the internet reporters believe is final proof of HHH's inability to give even an inch to anyone. The match was solid, with a great section that proved that if he were ten years younger, Michaels would have been a huge Luchador. Michaels tossed HHH outside, then faked a plancha, but HHH had it scouted.

Not the sweetest of chin music...

Trying for an Asai Moonsault, The Heartbreak Kid went crashing through the table after HHH moved. It was a sweet segment. Michaels remains one of this era's great bleeders, as he sported the Crimson Mask. The crowd came into this match late, basically when Shawn signaled the Sweet Chin Music. They did some exciting false finishes with guys barely answering the count. HBK hit the superkick, but he was exhausted and lost a lot of blood, so he fell down at the count of nine, ending in a draw. Stupid finish.

Paul E. and Eric Bischoff have a little discussion in the ring. Heyman plays the face since it is Philly, but Austin comes out and gives Paul the stunner. Just a little skit.

Goldberg does an interview which is interrupted by Lesnar. Lesnar asks "Where's you belt?" and Goldberg sneers. Goldberg then mentions Hardcore Holly and Brock flips out.

As disappointing as the undercard was, the Rumble itself was magnificent. Between the Brock match and the Rumble, the last month and a half have been very good to Benoit. Coming in at number one was a great idea, and he got the first elimination. Bradshaw came in and gave the Clothesline from Hell to everybody in the ring, but Benoit managed to put him in the crossface. Bradshaw manages to get up, but Benoit then rolls him out of the ring. Mark Henry eliminated Tajiri, and right after Benoit eliminated Mark Henry. The Hurricane has a lamentably short tenure, and Scott Steiner is eliminated by Booker T. Up to this point, the action is solid, better than most Rumbles already.

Kane enters and knocks folks around, though he eliminates no one. After the 90 seconds, the lights go out and Undertaker's music hits. Kane keeps yelling "I buried you alive." Booker T. manages to eliminate Kane with the distraction. Kane then finds Spike Dudley on his way to the ring and beats him up, giving him the Tombstone on the ramp. Benoit sends Rhyno and Matt Morgan to their doom, and Randy Orton, number 2 in the Rumble, eliminates Rikishi, Booker T, and Shelton Benjamin. The ring is clear of everyone but the number one and number two entrants. I was thinking they were going to the same thing they did when Shawn Michaels went coast to coast in the Rumble and have Orton be the final guy out.

No coward, but unsure which finger to extend.

The Cat did some dancing. At this point, I noticed that there had been no special guests. That wouldn't last long. Orton gets to eliminate the Cat and Rico, but Test is knocked out and Mick Foley enters the Rumble in his place. The whole joint in jumpin' as Mick eliminates Orton and then wails on him outside the ring. Foley got one elimination and it made all the difference as no one will think he's a coward now. It was better than having him do the long interview, which he will probably still do on Monday.

Everyone enters and there is a bit of a log jam with only one elimination (Christian by Chris Jericho) before Goldberg comes in as number 30. Goldberg knocks Nunzio out, but then Lesnar comes out and F5s Goldberg. This set the crowd on fire, and Angle got to eliminate Goldberg. There's a big segment where everyone hits a signature move and then tries to eliminate Big Show to no avail. John Cena is sent out, and it looks like he blew out his knee, but he turned out to be OK. RVD goes too and we're left with Angle, Benoit, Big Show, and Jericho.

Everybody works a little and Big Show Chokeslams Jericho to make it three. Angle then keeps going for anklelocks, but when he puts Big Show in one, he reverses and sends Angle out. Big Show did more to come across as a real monster than he has since he came through the middle of the ring at St. Valentine's Day Massacre in 1999. He and Benoit work a little, then Benoit sends him out.

Benoit was made into a main event player on the level of Michaels, HHH, Angle or Lesnar with the win. No one else has ever made so big an impact with a win. It was his coming out party and Benoit shone. This win will lead him to Mania against HHH, most likely, which will change things for good if they are able to convince HHH to do an actual job. I hope they do, since Benoit doesn't have too many years left as the years of his physical style will start to accumulate. He's got the chance. Let's hope they let him run with it.

Chris Garcia