Falls Count Anywhere

12-10-04

Take a bite of my Wonka bar.

SmackDown!
We opened SD! with a visit from the League of Bradshaw. Honestly, it’s an interesting grouping. JBL, Orlando, The Bashems and Amy Weber feel like one of those old school heel families. And Amy is far hotter than Baby Doll ever was. JBL referred to Theodore R. Long as a piece of human garbage. John Bradshaw Layfield should do pretty well in the Observer’s Best on Interviews award, because he really is a very good talker and has improved so much over the course of his reign. The lights went out and Undertaker was in the ring and beat on the Bashems.

There was a Cruiserweight Battle Royal to determine who would be getting the title shot at Spike at Armageddon. It was good to see the underused cruisers, like Akio, Paul London and Shannon Moore, back in action on SD!. Strangely, Akio got to take out Nunzio for the first elimination. That was followed by Paul London getting drop kicked in the back by Kidman. Akio them went with a cooperative measure from Moore and Funaki, who then eliminated Moore. In an awesome upset, Funaki then eliminated Kidman and Chavito, who were fighting with each other. Funaki took a second to realize that he had won and he hugged the ref and started jumping around. Funaki: SmackDown! #1 Cruiserweight!

They had the tough enough guys do promos for the Armageddon boxing match. The Miz was actually pretty good on his, the other two not nearly at the same level.

Jesus and Carlito came to ringside, but the ref sent Carlito back, but not before he spit apple in his face. Haas came out for the match, but before it could really start, Carlito came out with Dawn Marie in the hostage position. This distracted Haas enough so that Jesus could wrap the chain around his fist and KO Charlie. The match was called off and Jackie ran out from the back and Dawn Marie was also tending to Haas. The two of them stared at each other across Haas’ fallen body. There was a lot of ‘hookers ready to kiss’ heat there. It was actually kinda hot.

Luther Reigns came out to talk to Joy Giovanni. He said for Joy to tell her boyfriend The Big Show that he was waiting for him. Joy said he’s not her boyfriend, probably because she’s married and they made a point of that on the Diva Search. Still, she’s der uberbabe, even if her acting isn’t exactly good.

JBL said he was just gonna walk out of the arena, but Teddy dropped the ‘You walk away and I strip you of the belt, playa’ card. The Bashems came out saying they had a security breach, which turned out to be the wheels of JBL’s Limo being stolen.

Torrie was doing a photo shoot when flowers came from Kenzo. The review package they did of the whole Kenzo/Torrie sitch just reaffirmed that Kenzo is a funny, funny man. Hiroko came out and stripped Torrie to her underwear. Torrie than chased Hiroko, providing some nice bounce footage, and then stripped her. Hiroko ran to get away through the curtain, but ended up at ringside. She was pretty good playing shocked there. Torrie rounded her into the ring, but Kenzo and Rene came out. Rene did the French Tickler while Torrie was huddled into the corner. Rey and RVD came out and Teddy long said that they were going to have the Tag Team title match.

Reunited and it feels so good...

The match was fairly good, with the surprise ending of Rey getting the three with a little assist from RVD. The match was pretty good, though I missed some it due to having to put a five-year old to bed, but what I saw I liked. I know Kenzo’s work sucks, and Rene Dupree isn’t exactly a workhorse you want pulling your team, but it was still solid. Rey is just that good and RVD can pull it together and has moves that the crowd loves.

Al Snow announced that Justice Smith was eliminated. He really does have a good look and I’m betting that he’ll be in the developmental programme before too long. The Miz and Puder then faced off in an American Gladiators Joust competition, where Puder just lazily destroyed The Miz. Go Puder! By the way, the smart money is on Puder for Sunday, the smarter money is on The Miz to need to be hospitalized.

Booker T did a nice little backstage thing with Michelle McCool where he showed that he had stolen JBL’s hat and had cut the top off to allow for breathing room for the dreads. He was funny here.

Kurt Angle made his way out for the Invitational, but they announced that Big Show was the local boy coming out. Kurt begged off, but Luther got in Show’s face, but then pimped Jindraik to have to face Show. Show pretty much destroyed Jindraik, though he did work the leg for a while. Kurt and Luther interfered, including hitting Big Show with a chair and a section of the steps while Luther and Jindraik held show in the corner.

Paul E. and John Heidenreich were in an undisclosed facility. Paul gave John his meds and told him that the WWE had given him the OK to come back. Heidenreich doesn’t want to leave. Who would want to when they give you cubes of Jello with every meal?

JBL’s cabinet lost to Eddie, Booker and Undertaker in a handicapped match. This wasn’t bad, and it was certainly entertaining. Eddie is just so good and he is easily the most over guy on either show right now. JBL did a good job of playing the scared general sending his boys out to fight when things got tough. Booker was his normal solid self, and UT didn’t distract too much. They ended it with Jordan taking the scissors kick, the Frog Splash and the Tombstone for the pin.

Fun show, though it didn’t make me want to watch the PPV any more than I already did. The girls are pretty, though.

NEWS
Raw did another 3.9. Is this the sign of a turnaround? No one knows. Next week will best tell the tale.

No one has been fired, though Randy Savage walked out of TNA again. This time it was because he wanted the finish of the next PPV’s main event changed to where he would be given the NWA title. A little demanding there, padre.

If you get a chance, watch the XXX vs. America’s Most Wanted Six Sides of Steel cage match from last week’s TNA PPV. It was off-the-charts. I can’t see it not being the US match of the year, save for the fact that so few probably saw it. Chris Daniels, who is the most criminally over-looked wrestler in the world right now, and Elix Skipper were amazing, and they have to break up forever due to the stipulations. Great match.

Beware her bad mood.

FlashBack!
Medusa Micelli was a fine wrestler. She always could be counted on to give you a solid match, though seldom were her matches off-the-charts great. She won the AWA Woman’s Title by beating Candi Devine, a wrestler from the old school who could really work. After leaving the AWA, she landed in All Japan Woman’s Pro Wrestling, working some really good matches with all the top stars and doing a shoot kickboxing match with Aja Kong. She also worked LPWA and on their tape, No Holds Barred, they had a match between Medusa and The Goddess.

I have no idea who the Goddess was, but she was certainly wearing a lame mask. She had long curly blonde hair coming out from the back, though the top looked like someone had put a few rubber bands at the top of a white ski mask. It looked ultra-lame and I am thinking that put Medusa in a bad mood.

The Goddess could work a little, and she moved better than most of the other LPWA folks. Medusa, in her hot, one legged outfit, went along, but after a while, The Goddess seemed to stall out a little and didn’t seem to want to go up for a powerbomb or a piledriver. Medusa tried six or seven times, but it looked awkward every time, as if The Goddess was legit resisting. This would have put Medusa in a worse mood. Following that, she laid a few kicks in on the poor girl, including a pretty brutal one right to the face. I don’t think she was shooting, but it was obvious that she was annoyed. She laid a fairly good beating down, but the Goddess took it and came back, eventually getting the pin.

The strange thing is that Medusa would go on to join the WWF and hold the Woman’s belt until the night she dumped it into the trash on Monday Nitro after her jump. She had some good matches with the likes of Bertha Faye and a few of the Japanese girls. They even did an excellent elimination match at Survivor Series 1995 using girls from AJWPW.

Medusa could have been a true legend, as she was easily the best woman’s wrestler regularly working the US, but she was shuttled into being a valet (as Madusa) and fighting substandard women. The odds were in her favor to become a top star, but it never happened. She’ll be more remembered for the lame gimmick matches she had towards the end of WCW and the massive implants she got. It’s a shame, because the girl could really go.

That’s all for this week. Next week will have a look at more women, including my personal fave: The Magnificent Mimi.

Chris Garcia