Falls Count Anywhere

12/01/2009

Because WHIMPERSTICK, while technically more accurate, just doesn't sound as impressive.

So, I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling on the internets. The majority of it has been awful matches that are currently on YouTube, like the terrible Jessica Moresca match from the TNA pay-per-view a few months ago. It was the worst match I’d ever watched, I think, but it reminded me of one of the most strangest matches I’d ever seen: Sabu vs. Abdullah the Butcher.

There is no question in my eyes that Abdullah the Butcher is the greatest brawler of all-time. Yes, Bruiser Brody had the legend of being able to make anything look realistic and out-of-control, while Mick Foley took amazing bumps that are still talked about a decade later, but none of them have been brawling for 50 years. Abdullah is amazing, and though some of his matches aren’t great, the brawling is stiff, realistic and bloody. He’s probably spilt more blood of his own than any other wrestler in history. More than Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair combined. His feud with Carlos Colon in Puerto Rico was famous for its brutality and length: almost 20 years!

Sabu, in 1995, was the biggest star in ECW, and was already a well-loved wrestler in Japan. He’d left ECW after taking a booking with New Japan instead of doing the match teaming with the Tazmaniac against Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko. It led to Sabu being fired and also led to the Tazmaniac becoming Taz and setting up what was most likely the largest drawing program that ECW ever had once they brought back Sabu. A wild flyer, a lot of traditionalists thought Sabu had no idea how to do transitions and such that help give a match flow. He was the Ultimate Spot Machine, and his matches were great spectacles if nothing else.

The two were set up to have a match in 1995, before Sabu debuted with WCW. The match was for Tokyo Pro, a very small group in Japan that tried a little bit of everything. They had some Strong-style wrestling, some pretty good flying, and some nice brawling.

Just far easier on the eyes than either Abdullah or Sabu.

Sabu came to Japan and wasn’t making as much money as he was used to. This put him in a bad mood. Sabu wanted to do his flying and show why he was one of the hottest properties in wrestling at the time. Abdullah, understandably, didn’t want to take any bumps. At the time, Abdullah was in his mid-50s, and at his size, even doing a lot of moving could be painful. Abby, well he wanted a bloodbath.

Sabu wasn’t into the massive bleeding that he’d been so well-known for earlier in his career. Sabu, then and now known for his mercurial attitude, supposedly had to be talked out of walking out on the booking, so the match was going to be awful, because when Sabu’s not motivated, he’s a bear to work with.

The match was this: Abdullah came out, Sabu hit him with a hip attack, then started working him over with a pencil! Abdullah got some offense, a few chops and he used a wrapped spoon to carve up Sabu a little. Sabu didn’t bleed, but Abdullah, bless him, gushed. Supposedly all the scar tissue on Abdullah’s forehead busts open easy. The match ws only a couple of minutes long and ended as a no contest or countout. It’s hard to tell because the graphics were all in Japanese.

Now, my buddy Leon loved this match. I thought it was one of the dullest matches I’ve ever seen, especially since I’d been watching a lot of New Japan Junior Heavyweights and All Japan heavies at the time. Comparing this with a Kobashi vs. Misawa match would not yield positive results.

When I rewatched it recently, I realized that it was proof that sometimes you’ve got to work with what you can get out of a performer. That didn’t make it any better a viewing experience, but it made it less bad a happening, maybe.

A couple of short notes.
Brock Lesnar had surgery which was to close up a hole in his intestines. Apparently that was leaking into his body all sorts of nasty stuff, and it had been doing so for at least a year. So, his big matches where he destroyed the guys, that was done with his body fighting infections it was producing. Scary.

Big Show had arthroscopic knee surgery and six days later, he was working the SmackDown TV tapings! That’s insane, but he says it feels great.

Rey Mysterio will be having surgery on his knee, and possibly his back.

No word on Kurt Angle and what’s next for him. There is an element in the WWE that wants him back, especially since there are folks who have never worked him, like Kofi Kingston and Seamus. There are those who want him to stick around TNA, but with Hogan coming in, it could be a hard sell.

There aren’t a lot of options for him outside those two. He could probably draw good money in a company like NOAH or New Japan, but they’re on hard times and not likely to pay him what he’d like to make. Still, it’s a possibility. His past, especially the Wellness violations, will haunt him at least someone.

That’s all for today!

Chris Garcia