Falls Count Anywhere

11-23-04

You don't see the WWE apologizing.

RAW
The show opened with a take-off of the Monday Night Football/Desperate Housewives skit from last week. This was really funny. The WWE does these things well, but I honestly think it was just a way for us to get a good side view of Trish’s boobs…which makes it a 100 on my scale of things the WWE does right.

The actual show opened with Chris Benoit saying that he didn’t want to get all up in politics, so he used the old sign-up sheet technique. This led to some interesting match-ups. Of course, he set himself up with a Cage Match for the title with HHH. This whole storyline is just to make HHH look like he can over-come all the odds, which is a very face thing to do, but H doesn’t want to be a face. There’s the problem.

Maven took on Gene Snitsky in a match that wasn’t good, but Maven is trying and the crowd seems to be warming to him a bit. Maven got pinned after the Pump-handle Powerslam.

HHH complained that no one is protecting him and that he got out lucky last week. Good point. He said that he’d bet 100 bucks that Batista would lose to Jericho. That’s good money in my eyes.

Stacey was out shooting the T-Shirt gun and pulled an ECW DVD out of her crotch. Wow. Simon Dean came out and did some jawing, saying that ECW, where he had worked as NOVA, stood for Eating Causes Weight-gain. Funny that. Hurricane came out to stand face to face, and Simon beat him up. Rosie made the save. JR did unleash a fine line: ‘Thanks a lot, Bodydonnas!’

Jericho got put in a Tree of Woe and Batista wouldn’t stop wrenching his neck, leading to Big Dave losing by DQ. This wasn’t a very good match, though watchable, as Batista didn’t seem to be trying. Jericho was good at what he did, but he wasn’t given much to work with. After the break, HHH says that Batista can pay him his 100 bucks now, or he can run to a cash machine. Batista said that he walked up the ramp and that Jericho was helped up. This is where it became obvious that we were in for a bait and switch. I gotta agree with the sign: FREE BATISTA! FREE BATISTA!

Now, Benoit had announced another match between JR and The Coach, but this time it was “Just Rhyno”, which was a nice touch. Rhyno destroyed him, which was also a plus.

The Woman’s three-way was a little match that worked for me. The storyline was simple, Molly and Trish worked together until Molly got tired of it and went after Trish. Molly hit the Molly-go-round, but Lita broke up the pin. Lita worked her more aggressive style, which I’m liking. It ended with a DDT by Lita on Molly, but Trish pulled Lita out of the ring and Trish got the pin. Decent match.

Batista and Flair have a moment backstage where Big Dave says he’s tired of waiting his turn and Flair keeps telling him not to do what Orton did. Too much set-up makes the ending look very obvious.

They did a piece on Shelton Benjamin and his rough childhood. They probably did this piece for Confidential, then realized that if they used it on RAW, they’d get a much bigger number of people looking at Shelton. Now, I won’t mention the Century 24 theory here: that only African-American wrestlers get the hard-luck story packages, but still, it was well-made.

My Big Three: Shelton Benjamin, William Regal and Eugene took on Christian and La Resistance. This wasn’t a bad match, though there seemed to be a little tentativeness on the part of Grenier and Eugene. Regal worked his style a little, and Eugene did some comedy. Shelton got tagged in after Eugene had been beat up for a while and he showed all his athleticism. He hit a nice Cobra Clutch into a Backbreaker. I really liked that move. They did all sorts of bits and it ended when Shelton hit his T-Bone, Eugene got to do the Stunner and Regal used a big kick. Fun little match.

Mohammad Hassan and Khozrov Davari do a bit on airline security. This was the best of the skits so far. The Arabic portion seemed a lot angrier than the English.

Forget about dropping the towel... how about you drop the belt, big guy?

Benoit goes down to the ring for his match, but HHH has been attacked and is unconscious in the locker room. Flair keeps saying that Batista is out of control! Benoit comes out and says he doesn’t care what they have to do, get HHH in the ring. The medical staff refuses, Edge asks Benoit how it feels to get screwed out of a title match and Benoit says he wants Edge in the cage.

Solid back and forth match with some nice spots from the boys. A great baseball slide that rammed Edge’s face into the mesh. Benoit got busted. They worked all sorts of sweet spots, and used a finish I had seen elsewhere. Edge speared Benoit, which sent him flying out of the cage. Good match, well-told story.

Batista, who gets a great face reaction, is out in the ring and Flair brings HHH out to the ring. They end up hugging and showing that it was all another swerve. This was transparent and does nothing for anyone. Randy Orton comes out and congratulates Evolution on their mindgame. HE then says that he’s GM next week and he’ll make a match with HHH against Orton. H says no, so Orton says instead, he’ll fight whoever is behind door number two, which is the entire lockerroom. It’ll be a battle royal for the title. HHH will win, and it will suck.

Seriously, the show is obviously being built around HHH surviving all the challenges, which he supposes will get people interested in whoever eventually beats him, but that theory is just not true anymore. No one wants H as champ. In fact, there’s no one on the roster they want as champ right now. They need a new big talent who is fresh and invincible. A new Rock, or even a steady run from the old Rock, is the only thing that’ll save them. HHH needs to go away or accept that he isn’t a draw anymore and give the reins over to someone else. They also need to go back to the original concept and have one champion for both shows.

NEWS
SmackDown! did a 3.7 this week in the ratings, its best in a year or so. It’s hard to say why, but the word going around is that it was John Cena that drew the rating. This will only help the guy as people are higher on him now than ever before. His title win was a strong over for him, mostly due to Carlito’s injury. CCC will be gone a couple of months, and they have a built-in feud when they get back, so the hotter that Cena is, the more rub it will give to a returning Carlito.

Hardcore Holly apparently injured Rene Dupree at a Syracuse house show this weekend. Holly gave Rene a stiff chairshot, described by some as sickening, and Rene went all fetal for a while. When he came up, his eye was swollen very seriously. I haven’t heard what the announced injury is, but it’s probably pretty serious. Holly works really stiff, but he seldom really hurts guys. Supposedly, this was actually Holly taking revenge for Dupree getting a ticket in a rental car that had been under Holly’s name. They may have had a scuffle afterwards in the locker room, but there’s been no confirmation. Dupree is not at all liked backstage. I’m interested in seeing what they do with this, as Rene is one half of the Tag Champs.

A look at 2004 Awards
So, it’s getting to be that time of year! Ah, awards season. There are a number of wrestling awards that get given out every year. In addition to the Christopher J. Garcia Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Wrestling Excellence, there are three important sets of awards: the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards (the ones that matter to the industry), the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Awards (the ones that matter to marks) and the Tokyo Sports Wrestling Awards (the ones that matter to Japan). The awards all come out in January or early February and they all have a certain level of prestige. This year is another strange year for these awards.

I want the award! I want the award!

First off, like last year, there is no one with an early lead in Wrestler of the Year. Kurt Angle was hurt and just didn’t have a great year. Eddie was looking like he would run away with it at the beginning of the year, but then the JBL deal killed that. Benoit was a runner, but HHH killed that. Neither JBL nor HHH is at the level they need to be for consideration. Last year’s winner for me, Shawn Michaels, hasn’t made an appearance in months.

In Japan, you’ve got Kenta Kobashi as the leader since he’s been NOAH’s champ for a long time and is still having amazing matches on a body that has gone south. Jeff Jarrett is the whole reason that TNA is around. In the indies, Samoa Joe is right up there, as is AJ Styles. I’d like to see Samoa Joe get a lot of recognition, as he’s a great worker and ROH is built to push him right, not right for him, but right for the company (something HHH has never understood). My guess is that Kobashi will take Japan and the Observer awards, and Benoit will get the PWI award.

Tag Team of the Year is really tough. Personally, I’d like to see it go to KENTA and Morifuji, but they’re Jr. Heavy wrestlers, so that will work against them. In the US, there’s the Dudleys, who have had much better years, Team Canada in TNA, Ricky Reyes and Rocky Romero as well as the Briscoe Brothers in Ring of Honor. Honestly, this oen is too close to call.

Match of the Year is always hotly contested. This year’s obvious US match of the year candidates are Michaels vs. HHH vs. Benoit in any of their meetings, as well as Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar in the WWE, and Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk 60 Minute Draws from Ring of Honor. There are also a bunch of X-Division matches from TNA that were real good. While I’m not as up on Japan as I was last year, the Akiyama vs. Kobashi match from Pro Wrestling NOAH is certainly one of the best I’ve seen in ages and it’s a lock for Japan’s #1 match. I’m betting the Observer will pick that as well and PWI will go with one of the WWE matches.

The other categories will be tough. I’m just not seeing a big, clear-cut winner in any category.

This is also the time to announce that voting for The FanboyPlanet Wrestling awards is now open! From now until December 31st, you can submit your vote for three categories: Best Babyface, you know, the guy you want to see win, Best Heel, the guy you love to hate, and Favorite Wrestler. Anyone is eligible, so vote away!

That’s all for this week! Enjoy your turkey and Rest Well, gentle readers.

Chris Garcia