Falls Count Anywhere

11-09-04

No billionaire wanted my cookies.

RAW
HHH had an opening tirade, with faithful lapdog Batista at his side. He called Eric Bischoff useless, which is one way to put it. Bisch came out and H grabbed him, which led Eric to threaten to strip him of the belt. HHH said he didn’t like the stipulations, but Bischoff said big deal, more or less.

Bischoff then announced that the first match was about to start and the lovely Lillian Garcia announced that it would be Batista vs. Randy Orton. Orton got an OK reaction, but not the top babyface reaction he should be getting. Early in the match, you could really tell that Orton has grown so much in the last year, especially when it comes to his brawling and selling. HHH tripped Orton, which got him ejected.

When we came back, Batista was in control. I’m glad to see them trying to bring back the body scissors, as that was always one of my favorite moves. Orton hit a DDT on the outside and a Crossbody off the top. They traded escaping from each other’s finishers and finally Orton got the pin on a roll-up out of the corner. Good crowd reaction, but only an OK match.

Team Orton got jumped by Batista backstage. There wasn’t much to that.

They showed the Detroit Pistons coming out with replica Bling-bling belts when they got their NBA Championship rings. Stuff like that only happens once in a while, so it’s a good thing they’re capitalizing on it when it does. JR also took a shot at NBA commissioner David Stern, which is always a plus.

Shelton Benjamin took on Tyson Tomko in a match that was short, but showed that Benjamin has the potential to carry just about anybody. Also, if I were Tomko, I’d worry about who was getting cut next. Christian interfered quite a bit, and Shelton missed a Stinger Splash, though he got the T-bone and the pin.

The Highlight Reel featured yet another confrontation between Lita and Trish Stratus. They’re trying to break the Sheik’s and Bobo Brazil’s record for longest feud. Trish continued calling Lita “the career killer” and suggested that Jericho’s Highlight Reel would receive the old Dark Angle because Lita was on it. It’s not like she’s Ted McGinley. Gene Snitsky came out with a fake baby. He offered it to Lita, then dropkicked it into the crowd. He was a little wide, but it was better than Janokowski would’ve put up on a Monday night.

Simon Dean segment. I didn’t watch all of it. It’s a good bit in very small doses. They are going way overboard. They should just have him do them in 1987 Million Dollar Man spurts and that should be that. He’s funny though, I’ll give him that.

HHH was about to take on Tajiri when Snitsky jumped the Japanese Buzzsaw and then told HHH that he wasn’t a team player and when it was his turn to run RAW, he’d be getting a title shot. Well, duh.

Another Muhammad Hassan thing showed up, talking about how he grew up like the rest of us and it wasn’t until 9/11 that people started distrusting him. All he wants is a shot. Then his interpreter translated. I really wonder what he’s saying in translation.

Snitsky wants to be known as Incrediboy.

HHH welcomed Edge to the team, and Edge said that they were going to win the Survivor Series match because of Edge, and then Edge was gonna get his title shot. Edge.

Chris Benoit and Edge had a nice little match. It wasn’t as good as some of the stuff I’ve seen them do in the past, but it worked for me. They had Christy do the ring announcing, and she’s 1) nowhere near as good as my Lillian, and 2) nowhere near as hot as my Lillian. The match itself went very smartly, with neither guy really doing anything that could be considered career threatening. I also noted that this was a battle of fused necks. A good amount of brawling, a solid set of escapes by Edge and Benoit worked his good stuff. He hit the diving headbutt and the crossface, but both sides of the Survivor Series match were out and brawled, which is a long standing tradition in the week prior to Survivor Series.

All in all, it wasn’t great. I’d say RAW did a good job of building up the stipulations, but no one is buying it.

NEWS
DDP is set to start for TNA this week. No other news on that one.

Lex Luger was supposed to be on the Best Damn Sports Show Period taping, and showed up in no condition to work, partly due to insomnia and partly because he’s just that type of guy right now. The Elizabeth thing really messed him up, obviously, and the hatchet job done on him by Vince McMahon on Confidential has pretty much shown him that he can’t go back to the WWE.

TNA Victory Road PPV
Well, you can’t say it wasn’t entertaining. TNA does a few things very well, and one of them is the middle and lightweight wrestlers. They way they opened the PPV was what they had to do to get me hooked. The 20 Man X-Division Elimination Gauntlet match was awesome. There was just so much going on that it’s impossible to cover even most of it. The highlights for me were D-Ray 3000, for the hair, a huge release German Suplex by Chris Sabin on Franky Kazarian, and Hector Garza getting the win. It was an awesome, 20+ minute match where everything made sense. It felt like a Ring of Honor match at times. Really good and worth a watch of the PPV alone.

Kid Kash, Dallas and The Naturals vs. Johnny B. Badd, Ron Killings, Eric Watts and Pat Kenney was the next match, and I want to say that it was nice to see Johnny B. Badd back. I always liked Marc Mero, especially since he divorced Sable. Eric Watts isn’t very good, though he has been a part of a couple of decent tag teams and has a great heel persona. Badd didn’t do too much, which is to be expected. Ron Killings, who I really liked as Kid Kwick, got the win with his sit-out Pedigree thing. Not spectacular, but good enough for me.

Two Mexican midgets had a little match that went a touch over two minutes. Best spot was when Mascarita Sagrada gave Piratito Morgan (I know I’m spelling that wrong) an armdrag, and then gave one to the ref. That was cool. Sagrada got the win.

That sound you here is Jordan Rosa getting all excited that Scott Hall’s frequent rehab flyer card is still good, and he finally went back to the completely black hair. Well, since he survived to this point, my square in the dead pool is long since expired.

3LK, Brian James (aka Road Dogg) and Konnan (aka the original Max Moon) won the tag titles from Team Canada. This was a pretty standard match, with James and Konnan doing what they had to and little else. I do still like Konnan’s Rolling Thunder and James’ Juke and Jive punches. Still, this was a pretty bland match for me, and I hate to see Canada go out like that.

Raven did an interview saying that someone was gonna get hurt. Then we were treated to Piper’s Pit with Jimmy Superfly Snuka! Oh yeah!!! They did a great segment, where Piper seemed to pay respect to Snuka for getting up when he busted a coconut over his head. Piper then said it was time to pay the Piper and tried to get Snuka to hit him with the coconut. Kid Kash comes out and says that Snuka was great 20 years ago, but he couldn’t carry his jock now. That is probably true. Kazarian and Shane come out and start a fight where Piper helps Snuka!!! Sonjay Dutt comes out ot even the sides, but he is clocked with the coconut. I really liked this segment.

Trinity took on the debuting Jacqueline. Trinity won in about two minutes with a moonsault. That’s about all there was to it.

Monster’s Ball match with Raven, Monty Brown and Abyss. Interesting, as I kinda like Monty Brown, but Raven has been letting me down left and right in recent days. Monty was pouncing everything in sight, including the ref. He got the win by bouncing Raven through a table. At ten minutes, this was a decent match, but they could have gone a little longer. Raven gave Abyss a powerbomb on thumbtacks! Monty Brown caught Abyss and gave him a running powerslam! Brown hit an OK T-Bone Suplex! It was better than I was thinking it would be.

AJ Styles may be the best in-ring worker in American wrestling. Petey Williams isn’t bad either. They did a lot of mat wrestling, which the fans seemed to appreciate. The crowd was hot for this one, and at one point Williams put Styles in the Tree of Woe, stood on his crotch and sang O, Canada. That was funny. Williams hit Styles with the belt, but AJ kicked out. Williams got the Canadian Destroyer for the win in about ten minutes. Really good stuff.

XXX vs. America’s Most Wanted wasn’t what I wanted to see and Elix Skipper, who I have always enjoyed, got dropped hard on the back of his head on a steel chair. He was knocked loopy. Seriously, this is what happens when you’re constantly pushing the envelope. Chris Daniels was really good, as always. The WWE needs to get him in and give the Cruiserweights a real division. He’s even better than AJ Styles in my eyes.

The Main Event: Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy. Well, this is the best built main event in ages, and that’s even considering that they had Hardy no-show more than once. This was a solid ladder match, especially with all the great storyline interference. Nice Sunset Flip Powerbomb to the floor! Scott Hall and Kevin Nash came and did all sorts of interference, including giving Hardy the Razor’s Edge and then finishing the match with a trio of guitar shots to Hardy. Scott Hall had to take a Twist of Fate followed by a Swanton! This was a very solid end to a pretty solid PPV.

While I wouldn’t say that it’ll eclipse the WWE anytime soon, this was at least as good as many of the ECW PPVs.

That’s all for today. More on Friday!

Chris Garcia