Falls Count Anywhere

11-05-04

If everybody is super, then nobody will be.

SmackDown!
The show opened with Tough Enough again. Kurt Angle came out and berated each contestant to his face. Kurt was great here, but the guys weren’t, except for the last guy. Sunnyvale’s Daniel Puder is my easy choice for the contest. They had to do squat thrusts, and Kurt would wrestle the winner. The guy who ended up winning was much worse than Puder, who was tapped to leave last. After Kurt took care of the first guy, Puder volunteered to take on Angle, and he almost beat him. Daniel got a Keylock, but left himself open for a pin. In UFC, Puder would have easily won that contest.

Orlando Jordan was interviewed by Josh Matthews. JBL slapped Matthews, who then went off saying that he was sick and tired of being berated and beat on by the likes of him. Orlando then wrestled Booker T, and got disqualified when Bradshaw interfered.

Spike Dudley, who is now my facial hair idol (replacing Isaac Asimov), outlined his three step plan to take out the Big Show to his brothers. This was another good segment for Spike, who has been getting better and better at his evil ring leader role as his goatee grows. Coincidence?

Theodore R. Long told Josh Matthews to realize what his job is. Booker T came in and said that he wanted John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan again. Teddy came up with Josh and Booker vs. JBL and Orlando, in a match that I was powerful affeart of going in.

The Dudleys were in the ring. Spike was standing on a table that had been set up in the ring. He was so good here. Big Show came in and stared Spike in the face as he stood on the table. Spike spat on him and Big Show was about to attack, when Spike’s brothers pounded him, giving him the 3D. They set up two tables and Spike went to the top. Big Show recovered and chokeslammed Bubba and D-Von through the tables and Spike ran off, still throwing verbal jabs and he hightailed it out of there.

Ready for Bloodsport 23...

In a shocking match of the night, RVD and Rey Mysterio took on Luther Reigns and Mark Jindraik. This was a really entertaining match.

RVD did as well as he could, though he did miss a couple of spots, and he and Rey did some nice double teaming. RVD picked up Rey for an Atomic Drop, but then the two of them turned it into a Stereo Legdrop combo. Rey hit a BroncoBuster, and RVD followed with a Split-legged Moonsault.

A couple of 619 and a Frog Splash later and the match was over. Carlito Caribbean Cool came out and spit apple in RVD’s face. The crowd was chanting for Eddie, who came out and nailed Jindraik and Reigns with a chair as CCC and Jesus retreated. The crowd was really hot for Eddie.

Theodore R. Long informed Eddie that Rey Mysterio was not available for his team at Survivor Series due to a Fatal Fourway Cruiserweight match already on the books. Eddie will announce his new partner next week.

Michael Cole announced an arm wrestling match between Miss Jackie and Dawn Marie. Dawn dedicated her victory to her fallen angel, Charlie Haas. She gave Jackie a head butt that seemed a little too stiff. The two girls fought while Haas came out on crutches. For no good reason over than perhaps projection, Heidenreich came out and beat on Haas, probably thinking he was the Undertaker. Paul Heyman pleaded with Heidenreich, which is a decent gimmick.

Are any of these guys Tough Enough?

Torrie Wilson announced that next week all the Tough Enoughers will have to go through Torrie’s Sex Test. Billy Kidman must not be performing up to her standards.

JBL and Orlando Jordan did a good match with Booker T and Josh Matthews. Booker worked to the beginning, and Josh hit a really nice Flying Crossbody Block off the top on Orlando Jordan. The kid’s always had the talent. Josh hit a baseball slide, but then had to sell while being beat on by the heels. He eventually got a tag, which got a min-pop. Booker was being set up by JBL for the Clothesline from Hell, but he turned it into a Bookend, then gave one to Orlando. Booker hit a Scissors kick for the win.

Overall, decent.

NEWS
Blood-letting in WWE. In the last week, nine workers have been let go. Test, A-Train and Billy Gunn were first, which wasn’t a surprise as they were all hurt and none of them were over. Then, the WWE announced that they were getting rid of Chuck Polumbo, Nidia and Gail Kim, all of whom had been on TV recently, and Gail Kim has had a storyline going. Then, Jazz and her husband Rodney Mack were dropped along with Johnny Stromboli.

Nine wrestlers in a week is a bad sign. It looks like there will be more, too, and I wouldn’t want to be Molly Holly, Rico, The Hurricane, Rosey, or pretty much any of the Cruiserweights save for Spike, Rey, Kidman and Tajiri.

Flashback!
Dan The Beast Severn. The man ripped through much of the UFC after Royce Gracie stopped regularly competing. He was a monster, a huge scary monster in his day. But few folks know that Dan The Beast was another in a long line of wrestlers to hold what was once the most prestigious belt in professional wrestling.

...and a young Chris Garcia dreams of days gone by...

Dan was built just like the wrestlers of the olden tymes: barrel-chested, muscular but not ripped, sturdy legs and mustache. No, I’m am not describing my latest journey to a gay pride parade; Dan just happened to have the type of build and look that would not have seemed out of place in the early part of the last century. He was a star wrestler in high school and later in college.

After college, Dan decided to remain eligible for amateur status and won a total of 12 AAU championships. At one point, when Dan was 27, he faced a seventeen year old Kurt Angle, who supposedly beat Dan, though far from handily. Dan didn’t get to the Olympics partly because of timing (the 1980 Olympics that the US boycotted) and partly because of losses at the exact moment that he would have qualified (1984 and I believe 1988). In 1994, he entered the UFC.

He came up during one of the last tournaments that Royce Gracie competed in and the two of them met in the finals. It was a grueling match, but Royce managed to catch him and get a tap out. He ran through the competition in next tourney, winning it all.

About this time, the NWA, which had been faltering, needed to crown a new champion. They had been double crossed by Paul Heyman in 1994, when Shane Douglas threw down the NWA title in favor of the ECW title. Chris Candido, boyfriend of Tanny Lynn Sytch, won it in a tourney in early 1995 hosted by Smokey Mountain Wrestling. Severn was the next big thing, and everyone could tell that he was about to start dominating the UFC after that first match with Gracie. The NWA Board of Directors, a mysterious and dangerous entity, not unlike the Watchers Council, agreed to give Severn the NWA title. The NWA title had roots that went back to the 1940s, when Lou Thesz was champ, and even earlier as it grew from a series of World Championship belts that were held by folks like Strangler Lewis, Frank Gotch, George Hackenschmidt, and Joe Stecher. He hadn’t done much pro wrestling up to that point, and it showed in the type of matches he worked. Mostly, they were made to look like shoots, with lots of take-downs and submission work.

Severn drew fairly well being a traveling champ with a belt nobody considered important anymore. He did do a couple of shows that drew more than a couple of thousand in his reign. In 1999, Severn was finally beat for his title in Japan be Naoya Ogawa, the former Olympic judoka who is a big TV draw. Severn did some time in the WWF, working with guys like Steve Williams and being a part of Brawl for All. He regained the NWA belt in 2002, but was stripped for not being able to set up a title defense.

The most important match historically that Severn was a part of would be his first match with Ken Shamrock in UFC. This was the first time two world champions (Severn with the NWA belt, Shamrock with the Pancrase belt) had met in a shoot in at least 50 years.

While Severn still competes, he’s nowhere near the level of a competitor he used to be.

That’s all for this week. More next week!

Chris Garcia