Falls Count Anywhere

10-26-06

Viva Lake Tahoe!

RAW
I haven’t watched SmackDown! yet, but from what I’ve heard, RAW was much better. It worked as a hype machine, and even with KFed returning, I was entertained.

They started with KFed. Now, this doesn’t sound like a plus, but the guy is a heel heat magnet. I mean there’s no way you can boo Cena when you’ve got the real version of what Cena appears to be standing outside the ring. He said that he had two guys who were gonna take Cena’s title and brought out Booker and Big Show. They argued a bit.

This was a smart segment until John Cena came out and mocked them all. The Cena stuff wasn’t good, but the best line was Cena saying that Booker lost all his cred as a black man when he put over Federline’s album. Ron Simmons then came out and said ‘Damn!’ and left. I liked that bit a lot. I love Ron Simmons.

This does beg the question -- when did Garcia date a Yeti?

Mickie James is so very very very hot. I’ve decided this via a series of complex experiments using other Divas. Melina makes Mickie look like a Yeti covered in dog snot. She’s wicked and hot and WOW. Their match in the semis of the Woman’s Title tourney wasn’t bad at all. Melina even used a Dragon Sleeper on Mickie! Mickie went for the jumping DDT, but Melina managed a Neckbreaker out of it. Mickie came back and hit the Mickiecanrana and then the DDT for the win. I liked this match.

Shelton and Chris Masters are two guys who aren’t currently in the most favored positions on RAW. The natural idea then is to put them together and have them beat Jeff Hardy and Carlito, two guys who are being pushed to a degree. This wasn’t a bad match as you’ve got Shelton and Carlito, Hardy wasn’t off and Masters can go when he’s in with the right people. Masters looked better than usual, even if he is the incredible shrinking man.

Carlito hit a mean Springboard senton and then the quebrada, but then he ran into Hardy and got rolled up. The four of them brawled a bit after to set up the CyberSunday match possibilities. I’m betting it’s Shelton vs. Hardy for the title.

John Cena beat Johnny Nitro, who had Melina and KFed outside the ring. This wasn’t a great match, but it had moments and was really made by having KFed at ringside. At one point, Cena was outside the ring and Federline slapped him, allowing Nitro to hit a pescado. Nitro worked him outside and inside before Cena got the advantage and won with the FU. Cena went after KFed, but that ended up getting him jumped by Booker and Show.

Cryme Tyme, who I’m growing to like, beat the Spirit Squad. This was an OK fast match and ended with that neat Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combo they’re calling G-9. After the match, Kenny turned and gave Mikey a Leg Drop off the top and said he’d beat Flair himself.

Rambo IV.

Eugene was shooting shirts to the crowd and Umaga came out. Eugene shot Armando in the crotch with the T-Shirt gun and then took the wrath of Umaga! Backstage, Hacksaw Jim Duggan said that Eugene had to stop being a nice guy, which led Eugene to flip out and attack Hack. Interesting.

The Spirit Squad came out with Kenny. Read that paragraph up there, the one where I said that Kenny turned. Now read the first sentence of this paragraph again. That’s what I said. At least it allowed Flair to bring out Piper and Stardust…The American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Flair lost fast to Kenny, and then Dusty, Flair and Piper cleared the ring. Dusty was way over. Kenny left the rest of the Squad to take the punishment, but it still doesn’t make sense.

DX did a backstage promo plugging their merch. This was kinda funny. Not terribly funny, but I did laugh a couple of times.

Randy Orton beat HHH. Coach and Eric Bischoff were at ringside plugging that they might get to be the ref if chosen at CyberSunday. Orton got worked over, including HHH doing the old Garvin Stomp. Lita interfered and Orton got a backbreaker. H went to Pedigree Orton, but Edge interfered and hit a spear on H. That led Michaels into the ring and then Bisch gave Orton a chair, which he used to beat H. I liked this match.

Straight ahead and simple. The booking at times was good, others it was very weak. I’m still kinda excited for CyberSunday, but it’ll probably be the lowpoint for the year’s buy-rates.

NEWS
The WWE fired Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin, who had been working as a producer. Who did they hire to replace him? Tully Blanchard. They’re very interested in hiring folks who were stars so they can roll them out like they’ve been doing with Piper and Rhodes lately.

Thursday’s UFA rating was 1.2 and TNA was a .8. That’s bad news bears, right there. TNA needs ratings bad and if Kurt Angle ain’t gettin’ it doned, I’m not sure what will.

The Marine clung to a Top Ten spot in the box office. It’s looking like it’ll end up losing money until it gets to video. Reviews have been very average. The video sales will probably turn it into an earner starting in about February. See No Evil has been making good money and will end up making a fair amount for Vince and co.

It looks like Kurt Angle’s wife had a kid yesterday, though I don’t have any other details than that.

RAW did a 3.6. That’s not a bad number considering. I’m betting they’re not happy with it because they were expecting more of a bump from KFed.

ECW
This was a strong edition. I’m confident in the quality of ECW, but not in the direction or that the audience will stick around too much longer. I’m thinking a 1.2, below the average for the network on that night before they started ECW, is not too far away. Still, they’re doin’ good stuff.

RVD did a promo saying that he pinned Big Show and he wants to know when he gets his match for the belt. Heyman said that there’d be a ladder match later that would give RVD a title match at his leisure. The Riot Squad attacked, but RVD knocked them around. This wasn’t bad.

CM Punk beat Matt Striker. Striker got some offense and looked good as a glorified jobber. ECW has always understood how to do the pushed jobber concept and here was no different. CM was about to take it all when Mike Knox jumped in. Punk hit him with a high kick and Knox left. Punk is the MAN.

Test beat Hardcore Holly. This made no sense because Holly has momentum and could easily be an ECW player. Holly’s a great brawler and a physical worker. Test and Holly both worked stiff, but the match was nothing special. The audience hardly reacted at all. Test rammed Holly into the post and then Test got a roll-up, giving him the win. I’m sure they could be doing much better things with Holly. Test hasn’t been bad lately either, but really, he’s just not ECW. You could make a case for Holly being the most ECW worker who never worked for ECW.

Hey, isn't that Slim Goodbody's jumpsuit?

RVD beat Big Show in a Ladder match to win the contract for whenever he pleases. It was a decent match and Big Show worked hard as he could to make a decent main event. And it was very decent, if I do say. Lots of ladder shots and Show even bladed pretty early. Show worked over RVD after Van Dam had an early advantage. That’s the best kind of story they can tell.

Show splashed himself into the ladder and that gave RVD the chance to make towards the finish. He was supposed to give Show a Hurrancanrana on the outside, but he didn’t get it right and Show looked kinda silly going over late. They still did the finish where RVD got back in and got the contract. This was a strong match, even with a slightly botched finish, and it’s good to see that they’re taking RVD seriously again as the probable next champ. My only question: where was Sabu?

That’s all until next Thursday. I’ll have a full week’s worth of reports and probably some big news too if my sources are at all correct.

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Chris Garcia