Falls Count Anywhere

10-19-06

Me want pwesents.

RAW
Raw opened with Lillian Garcia in the ring ready to announce a match when DX’s music hit. Orton and Edge came out dressed as HHH and Shawn Michaels. Edge’s version of H was really funny. They ended up ripping on DX for a while and then DX came out. They showed some beefcakey pics of Orton (and one from Michaels’ spread in Playgirl) and they faced off a bit before coming to blows.

This was almost a mess because Orton was flubbing here and there. Edge was great as always and HHH seemed to hold back on actually burying the guys, which is rarer than a Viscera plancha.

Cryme Tyme debuted and were over from the get go. They worked against the Spirit Squad who had laid down an open challenge. LTG looked green, but he’s got some springs and isn’t bad. In fact, they sort of reminded me of an unpolished Hart Foundation with the big power guy and the smaller faster guy. This was an OK match, with Shad knocking guys down left and right. The pinned the Spirit Squad using a Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combo that looked really cool. Nice intro for the new guys. Kenny started to break away from the SS, which is for the best.

Johnny Nitro and Melina did some backstage talking. I didn’t catch what they were talking about because I was too busy lusting after Melina.

Nice side kick, and nice hair.

They had Cryme Tyme steal Booker’s wallet and then Booker went off. It was funny, yes, but the stereotyping has just begun.

Jeff Hardy managed to beat Shelton Benjamin, SuperCrazy and Chris Masters to retain the IC title. This was a pretty good match. They didn’t get nearly enough time for it, but everyone worked hard and Hardy seems to be more sure on his feet now. Hardy sent Crazy over the top to the outside, where Benjamin caught him. That allowed Hardy to get the Twist of Fate and Swanton on Masters.

They should really build a Shelton-Hardy feud. That’d be a good way to rebuild Shelton and make Hardy seem legit. I’m betting they thought about it and realized that maybe Hardy couldn’t hang.

Johnny Nitro introduced K-Fed, Mr. Britney Spears himself, Kevin Federline. The guy got more heel heat than John Cena at MSG. He was about to start his rap, but John Cena himself came out and got a really good positive pop. It took K-Fed to get Cena taken fully as a face. Weird.

Cena did a thing knocking both Federline and Paris Hilton and then Nitro attacked, which allowed Cena to send him out of the ring. This was a really good segment and it made Cena look like a champ. Cena then invited Federline back into the ring and after K-Fed said that he wanted Cena to lose, he took the FU. Gotta give it to the guy, he took a real wrestlin’ move from a real wrestler.

Total squash time as Carlito manhandled Conway. It wasn’t even a match, just a squash. More of these might help Carlito get over more and allow him to Main Event. He’s a talented guy, and with the addition of his flying of late he’s got the chops. I’d like to see him make a run in ECW. I really think he would light it up over there, especially if he feuded with RVD.

What, you thought we'd run Steve-O getting manhandled?

Steve O and Chris Pontius got manhandled by Umaga. They kept laughing through the whole thing. Bad choice there, Vince.

Maria won a four-way Bra & Panties match. Maria won by stripping Torrie. This was some good skin, but nothing more. They really need to learn from the ECW Strip Poker rating (abysmal) and the fact that the Trish Stratus retirement run did so well and start using the women the right way. They have some ladies who can work and they’re wasting them in these stupid vignettes…not that I don’t like to see a little skin on free tv.

HHH beat Randy Orton in the worst way. H was in control the whole time and gave very little to Orton, which is a great way to kill any heat he might have had. There was a lot of interference from Lita and Edge, but Michaels neutralized a lot of it and H just played Superman. H hit Orton with a chair for the win. Really, they need to give more to Orton and Edge or this’ll kill them dead.

Not a bad episode, pretty entertaining, and the crowd treated Cena right for once. Still, I think the booking of the Edge-Orton team is going to end up hurting them both.

That’s all for this week. More on Monday!

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Chris Garcia