Falls Count Anywhere

10-05-06

Eisenmann.

A Note
We here at FBP got a lovely eMail from the Daughter-in-Law of one of the great heels of the 1950s through the 70s: Karl Von Hess. He’s still alive, which was a surprise to me. There were a lot of Von Hess and Von Schotz wrestlers around at the time and I know that Kurt Von Hess is in fact dead, but Karl is alive. I’m always pleased to find out things like that, since I always sorta assume that with the exception of the big names who make the circuit signings (like Nick Bockwinkle, Verne Gagne, Ivan Koloff and Red Bastien), all the folks from that era have left and gone away.

RAW
I missed pieces of it trying to figure out what happened to my eMail with Monday’s FCA. I’m glad I got to see a main event between Edge and Cena in the cage, but it didn’t feel like the end. I can only assume that they’ll put them in a Hell in the Cell, but they can’t do one of those for a while since they just did one. The rest of it, though…

There was a lot of DX all over this show and I think they’re really killing the product right now. They need to build around John Cena. The problem? That means they have to put John Cena out there and that means he’ll get booed when he’s a face. There’s no way to win this one.

They opened by coming out and jawing and Coach came out and made an eight man Texas Tornado match. It wasn’t a bad little destruction. The other six were Haas and Big Viz, Cade and Murdoch, and The Highlanders. The Highlanders took some good bumps to the outside. Shawn and H cleaned house and it ended when Shawn gave Haas Sweet Chin Music which knocked him into HHH who gave him the Pedigree. DX then ran off Coach and took over.

Funny moment: when Coach said ‘Who do you think is running this show?’ and Shawn hitched a thumb over at H.

In a terrible directional choice, Johnny Nitro dropped the IC title to Jeff Hardy. The match wasn’t bad, and I’m still not sure why Nitro’s entrance hasn’t been taken to by the crowd. It’s awesome and Melina is so freakin’ hot. Hardy worked better than he has in recent weeks, which is a good sign. Hardy back dropped Nitro off the top and hit the Swanton for the win. I liked this match more than most, but they needed to keep the belt on Nitro longer if they ever want to get the guy over.

One of the funny bits of DX trying to get Coach out of his backstage office was Hunter saying that he had locked himself in so he could masturbate and Shawn saying “it’s a sin.” I gotta say, at least Shawn has a sense of humor about things. They followed that up with a Western gag and then they chased Coach and put him in a dumpster. Funny.

Umaga beat Snitsky. I got my email from Derek to send over Falls again and I started searching while half-watching RAW. I did hear that Kane and Umaga will meet in a Loser Leaves RAW match next week at the Three-Hour WWE Family Reunion. I’m betting that Umaga loses and goes.

Randy Orton beat Carlito. I’m not a fan of Orton, even though the boy can flat out work. I think Carlito has much more of an upside if they just gave him a run at it. While Orton worked the arm, Carlito did some flying. I love his Hurrancanrana. He did a Springboard Crossbody that Orton reversed and turned into a pin holding the tights. It was a slightly better than average match.

I think I've had this nightmare. Or at least I'm going to tonight.

The Spirit Squad was forced to wear new girl cheerleading outfits. It’s a shame they went that way. Nicky had to face Sarge Slaughter. This wasn’t a good match and it wasn’t funny. DX came out and made fun of Nicky allowing Sarge to get the Schoolboy pin on him. Terrible.

Mickie James and Victoria had a lingerie match. It wasn’t much of a match, but Mickie is hot. Victoria was so much hotter it wasn’t even funny. It was like the first couple of scenes in The Maltese Falcon where the first girl comes in and she’s stunning and then Lauren Bacall shows up and she’s so much hotter. Sorry…I just rewatched it the other day.

Anyhow, the highlight here was Mickie going for a Mickiecanrana and having Victoria turn it into a Boston Crab. Mickie nearly completely blew a Sunset Flip off the top, but Victoria sat down on her and grabbed the rope. The ref saw it and Mickie managed to roll Victoria up and get the win. Victoria threw a fit afterwards. They’ve got a real character in Victoria, and she’s older than any of the other women on the roster. They should push her harder as a crazy heel, but there’s no one left for her to work with that’ll produce great matches like the ones she had with Trish.

Line of the night…no, Line of the Year. Eric Bischoff was out there talking with Chris Masters. DX came up and jawed with them. Masters mentioned that he was thinking about writing a book and H came back with “what you gonna call it: How to Lose Fifty Pounds in Four Weeks”. I nearly died. True, mocking the steroid policy shouldn’t happen, but look at Masters! He’s got nothing left. He could get definition and it would still seem like he’s got the body, but seriously, he’s got nothing now.

Cena won the cage match over Edge. It was another good match in their feud. Edge worked the arm. They fought on the top rope, they rammed each other into the cage (including a very good spear into the cage by Edge) and there were several escapes from FU attempts. Edge and Cena work hard for each other, mostly because they know that this is their biggest break and they want to look good. There was a ref bump and Cena applied the STFU. This brought out Cade and Murdoch.

They tried to bring Edge out of the cage, but then Michaels gave Murdoch Sweet Chin Music and that sent him flying into the cage door which closed on Edge. Cena managed to hit an FU for the pin. Not the best match between the two of them, but it was pretty darned good.

I really don’t like the direction they’re going.

ECW
This was a very well-thought out edition of ECW, even if there was a portion of the show that I deliberately tuned out. They opened with Holly confronting Heyman and saying he wanted RVD. Heyman said that he couldn’t because with Holly’s back laceration, it’d cause insurance problems. Test took out Holly from behind and Heyman gave him the match with RVD. Nice way to start things off.

Matt Stryker and Big Show beat Sabu and Sandman. This is where I sorta tuned out. The idea that they give so little to the guys that most ECW fans are fans of really shows the lack of respect for the product. That said, I do like Stryker and think he’s a good fit, much like Chuck Austin in the old days of ECW, and putting him with Big Show is classic Heyman.

Well, I'm flushed.

Hey, strip poker. It was another tease of nudity that ended up with Kelly Kelly wearing nothing but a pair of aces. Taz dropped a funny line saying that the segment gave him a straight. It wasn’t great comedy, but Kelly is hot.

In a very strange decision, Tommy Dreamer jobbed to Kevin Thorn. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a fairly good upside to Thorn as a gimmick, and jobbing Dreamer is a tradition that goes back to the good old days of ECW, but this wasn’t right because the match wasn’t good. Ariel also didn’t interfere. She’s way hot, but she hasn’t been given enough to do.

The highlight of the first couple of months of ECW has been CM Punk. He beat Danny Doring in a match which was pretty good. Everything on the first half of the show was rushed. Punk hit the Double Underhook into the Backbreaker. They’re trying to build a Knox-Punk by having Kelly Kelly be unable to stay away from Punk. If it ends with Knox tapping to the Vise, than I’ve all for it.

In one of the best matches of Test’s career, he beat RVD. RVD was flying and looking really good. He actually looked better here than he did in 2003 and 04. They worked hard and did a lot outside the ring. Test tried to Suplex RVD from the ring apron through a table, but RVD turned it into a Sunset Flip Powerbomb that sent Test through the table. I gotta give it up for Test to take that.

The Riot Squad interfered, which was OK as it builds RVD vs. Heyman, and then Show came out. Lots of chair work towards the end. It all ended with RVD trying for a Frog Splash off the Top, but Show pushed him off and that allowed Test to get the TKO. Good stuff. This is the RVD ECW needed all along

That’s it for this week. More on Monday!

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Chris Garcia