Falls Count Anywhere

09/21/2009

Riding on the turtle's back...

Jeff Hardy was arrested on the 11th. You may have heard about it. The fact that he got busted with so much has raised a lot of questions among just about everyone on just about everything. The sad thing is, this may all be a giant misunderstanding. More on this in a second.

Jeff was busted, most likely due to either being narced on by someone or the cops had a supplier cased and came across Jeff. According to Figure Four Newsletter, the charges included trafficking in opium, felony possession, intent to sell, maintaining a dwelling to keep controlled substance and felony possession of cocaine as well as misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia.

That’s a long list and it’s pretty bad. If the trafficking sticks, that means a minimum of 70 months. The list of items found is the interesting thing: 262 Vicodin prescription pills; 180 Soma prescription pills; 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids; a residual amount of powder cocaine; and items of drug paraphernalia.

Now, the potential misunderstanding part. Everyone knows that Jeff had his problems in the past and most folks who are close to him think that he has cleaned himself up. That could account for the residual coke and the drug paraphernalia. Jeff has said that the time off and not re-signing with the WWE was so that he could heal up and do his reality tv show. A doctor certainly could have prescribed the steroids, Vicodin and Soma. Probably not in those quantities, unless he was seriously over-prescribed which could nail that doctor to the wall, and perhaps that’s what lead to all of this. It would also lessen the charges and probably lead to the dropping of the trafficking, which is the one that is most damaging.

There’s also the possibility that Jeff was selling. Similar amounts of drugs have been found in possession of people like Chris Benoit, which have led to talk about them as dealers. That’s hard to take as well, but someone has to provide for all the people who are taking and it’s not like the locker room isn’t the easiest and safest way to get the stuff out to the boys without much exposure.

This all calls in to question the WWE’s Wellness Policy. Yes, guys are getting caught for drugs and roids (Rey Mysterio most recently) and being punished. It’s possible that Jeff had been completely clean when he was in the Fed and started using the steroids under care of a doctor after he left to help him heal up and the Soma and Vicodin were to help him sleep and deal with the pain. That’s completely plausible, but that residual amount of cocaine is what’s causing a lot of eyebrows to rise.

It could certainly be that it’s from his days using a while back, but it’s also completely possible that guys are just beating the tests left and right. There aren’t that many physiques that look like they’d require heavy dosages of ‘roids to maintain, but you’d be surprised some of the names that have said they’ve used over the years.

In other legal matters, Kurt Angle had almost all of the charges dropped in his case with Rhaka Khan. The judge threw out everything but the assault charge on Kurt. According to the Observer, Kurt provided a prescription for the ‘roids, and his explanation of why he was circling was accepted by the judge. That’s a relief, though he could still have some legal issues.

Speaking of TNA, they fired two more people in the mode of ridding the company of all Jeff Jarrett supporters. Jim Cornette, manager extraordinaire, and BG James, the former Road Dogg, are both gone. They join Savio Vega and Dutch Mantell out the door. TNA has certainly rallied around Kurt.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have started a Hulkamania promotion to tour internationally, starting with a November tour of Australia. They’ve signed Ric Flair to a three year deal. To wrestle. That’s right, Flair’s coming back after only a year and a half, which is about average for guys who retire in this game.

Of course, the plan is for Hogan and Flair to face off on the tours, which only makes sense. Pretty much everyone not under WWE contract has been called to sign on, including Ken Anderson, aka Mr. Kennedy, Goldberg, Jeff Hardy, Sean O’Haire, and, according to at least one person within wrestling, The Rock. That’s the one that’d make the most difference and the one that’s least likely to happen. Apparently, The Nasty Boys are also confirmed. Go figure.

OK, that’s all for now!

Chris Garcia