Falls Count Anywhere

08-27-04

Living is easy with eyes closed.

SmackDown!
SD! this week didn’t completely hold my interest, but there was some real good stuff. They opened with an Eddie Guerrero interview where he called out Kurt Angle for a fight. Kurt’s music played, but Luther came out, saying that in a fight, Kurt would destroy Eddie. Kurt came on the screen and told Eddie to come to the garage to brawl. Eddie went and he ended up chasing Kurt around a car. Kurt said “Don’t touch my car,” which led Eddie to trash it. Luther jumped Eddie from behind and he and Kurt drove off together. Teddy Long came out and said that it wasn’t Kurt’s car, that it was his car. Teddy had security drag Eddie away and then broke down in tears over his busted bucket. I really thought that this segment was a lot of fun.

Kenzo Suzuki is a funny guy, and his delivery on his pre-match interview was really well-done. I love Suzuki’s ‘America is the best place on Earth’ bit. However, the match with RVD was almost completely unremarkable. Van Dam did hit the Split-legged Moonsault, and when he went for a Frog Splash, Rene Dupree came out and RVD dove onto him on the outside instead. RVD managed to get a roll-up on Suzuki for the pin, but Dupree and Suzuki double teamed him after.

Teddy Long was outside, continuing to mourn his car when John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan pulled up in their limo. They jawed back and forth for a while, then Theodore R. Long used his stroke to make an Orlando Jordan vs. Undertaker match with JBL’s title on the line.

Billy Kidman and Chavo jr. had a really strong match with a scary finish. Kidman did all sorts of fun headscissors stuff, and Chavo worked on Kidman’s arm. Kidman tried a few moves, but would sell the arm in the middle of them so that they didn’t work. This was the smartest match, psychologically, in ages. Noble knocked Kidman’s feet off the top when he tried for the Shooting Star Pres the first time, crotching Kidman. Paul London then did a flipping bodyblock, or hilo, on Noble outside. London then kicked Chavo, and Kidman hit the Shooting Star, landing his knee on Chavo’s head. Chavo wasn’t moving after and Kidman looked very concerned on the way out.

Angle and Luther came back to the scene of the crimes against Theodore’s car, and said he didn’t know nothin’ about it. Teddy did not believe him and made two matches for Kurt: a 2 of 3 falls match with Eddie next week and a match with Rey Mysterio for later in the show.

To your scattered bodies go...

John Cena vs. Booker T wasn’t good. I was actually bored by it enough to pick up a Joe Haldeman book, which made me so bored that I picked up a Phillip Jose Farmer book. Neither Cena nor Booker looked good, though Cena’s schtick is over huge. Booker got the win with a roll-up when he fell out of an FU attempt. The series stands tied, and they reserved the side column of the TitanTron for the score of the series.

Paul Heyman did an interview with Josh Matthews dealing with John Heidenreich. HE talked about John being his insurance. Heidenreich came out and Matthews asked him if he could live up to the hype. Josh then took a nice little beating from the big man. I still don’t know if he’ll make it.

Match of the night, and probably the week, goes to Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey was great, and Kurt worked a very smart, safe and sane match. They did some headlock-y type stuff to open. Kurt was great as he got to work as a bruiser. He bodyslammed Rey by throwing him across the ring. He also tossed Rey with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Later, Angle gave Rey a release German Suplex which Rey did a back flip flop on. Rey would add a beautiful Split-legged Moonsault for a near fall. Two in one night!

Kurt went for the Angle slam, but Rey turned it into a DDT for a 2 and 94/100 count. Seriously, it looked like the ref was gonna come down for three, but held up a bit so Kurt could kick. Kurt caught Rey in the air, but Rey tisted around so that he was on his shoulders. Rey tried for a rana, but Kurt sat down and got the three. The same ending as Owen vs. Bret from WrestleMania X, and Owen vs. Bulldog in 1997.

They showed pre-Governor Arnold slapping HHH back on one of the first episodes of SmackDown! I fully remember saying ‘how in the hell did Vince get Arny?’

JBL gave Orlando Jordan a pep talk, saying that this was his break and that he could take Undertaker. Jordan said he needed the confidence that can only come from carrying the belt to the ring. Bradshaw agreed.

Jordan vs. Undertaker was another pretty dull match, save for one great segment. Jordan nailed Taker with what Kanyon called the Flatliner. Jordan stayed sitting on the mat, and Undertaker sat up. Jordan did some great facial work there. UT hit the Tombstone, but before the ref could count three, JBL pulled him out, getting the DQ. JBL made sure that they announced that UT had won, but had not won the belt. Taker then ripped the protective gear off of JBL and chokeslammed him in the ring.

Not great, but then the Rey match and the Kidman match were solid and the opening segment wasn’t bad.

NEWS
It’s looking more and more like Brock is going to get cut by the Vikings. There is talk that the WWE will make a big play for him, but those close to the situation are saying that it’s just not going to happen. It would probably kill the locker room if he came back.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. was legit KOed by the Shooting Star Press by Billy Kidman. That’s the first time I can think of where the SSP hurt the other guy. Chris Jericho once broke his arm delivering one while he was in Smokey Mountain Wrestling, and we all remember Brock’s little slip. The way Chavo was lying there reminded me of Tank Abbott KOing a giant Samoan guy in one of the early UFCs. Kidman had to hook his leg, but he was completely stiff, so he lifted like a board.

Rulon Gardner retired after winning the Bronze medal in Greco-Roman wrestling. He’d once had a big offer from the WWF, but it’s doubtful that he’ll get another.

Lots of heat on Rene Dupree backstage. Some say that he’s got a bad attitude, and he did the French Tickler when he wasn’t supposed to on a house show. Still, he’s a talented kid.

FlashBack!
Barely Legal was the turning point for ECW. The Austin vs. Bret Double Turn was the match that announced that the WWF was on the comeback trail. The first edition of Nitro said that WCW was going to put the WWF in its place by putting on a better wrestling show. Then there were the signs that everything was falling apart. For the WWF in the 1990s, it was WrestleMania VII. For the old AWA it was Hulk Hogan secretly signing with the WWF. For the old NWA it was the Starrcade PPV that Vince sabotaged. But for WCW, it was a single eight day period where everything they could have done to kill their crowd, they did.

The Golden Goose

You see, WCW had a good thing going and it was called Goldberg. Goldberg had yet to lose and everyone thought that he was unstoppable. He was drawing big ratings, selling out arenas and generally being a great wrestler. So, he had been scheduled to take on Kevin Nash at Starrcade, but that wasn’t really the story.

You see, by this time, the WWF had managed to make a come back and, riding the power of Steve Austin, was again the biggest thing in wrestling.

While WCW had been doing very well, the WWF was certainly on the path and ready to take back wrestling fully from WCW. Hulk Hogan didn’t like that. He wanted the belt around his waist, but Nash had already been built up to the position. So a plan was set in motion.

The nWo had been disbanded for a while and the guys went their own ways. Hall was trying to get back in Nash’s good graces, but Nash said he had to prove himself. Hogan was off being Hogan.

Nash and Goldberg were in a No DQ match, and honestly, I didn’t think it was terrible, Nash did as good a job as he could, and Goldberg, while far from great, knew how to make himself look invincible. Scott Hall, who is still alive for those of you who have him in your Dead Pool, zapped Goldberg with the stun gun, which let Nash get the Jackknife Powerbomb for the pin. This was actually OK, as they could have built to a smart battle between the two of them in a rematch.

But they didn’t.

The next night, Nash said that he’d give Goldberg a match at the Georgia Dome Nitro. The GD Nitro did big business, and I believe it was the largest paid crowd WCW would ever draw. Early in the show, Nash had Goldberg arrested for assaulting Miss Elizabeth. It was a clever ruse, as Nash just wanted to get Goldberg out of the way. With Goldberg arrested, he could choose whoever he wanted to face. Nash chose Hogan. The end was near.

When they were about to hook up, Nash stopped and Hogan poked his finger into the chest of Nash. Apparently, Hogan can seriously harness his chi, because Nash went down like a rocket and Hogan got the pin before the huge crowd. The nWo was officially reformed. Goldberg ran in, and instead of being able to get his heat back and clean house, the nWo beat him up and spray-painted nWo on his back.

You could hear the gates falling.

Things just kept getting worse from that point on. They had completely devalued the World title and Goldberg in the space of 8 days. Goldberg could have carried them another six months, and his first loss could have led to a very smartly booked revenge tour. That never had a chance to happen. I wasn’t a fan of WCW at that, mostly because of how much stuff they did that just didn’t make sense. RAW had taken off and rest is history.

That’s all for this week. More on Tuesday!

Chris Garcia