Falls Count Anywhere

08-17-04

I tried riding a pommel pony first.

Quick RAW Recap
OK, RAW wasn’t great, but there were some very good pieces mixed in with some not so good pieces in a very bland puzzle. I was not at all thrilled and found myself bouncing between RAW, The Giants beating The Expos and Men’s gymnastics. The opening of the show, with Randy Orton in the ring, in his suit, celebrating his win, was straight up Ric Flair 1980s in the TBS Studio. He gave a strong promo, having the 24 year olds in the audience stand up so that he could ridicule them. I really liked this promo a lot. Benoit came out and said that he had a rematch clause in his contract and he’d called it in for later on the show. Randy tried to get it to be a few weeks down the line, but Bisch had already given Benoit the match.

Rhyno beat Sylvan Grenier in a match where Rhyno would have to win or he and Tajiri would ‘never’ get a title shot. Solid, unspectacular match where Tajiri ended up blowing the mist in Grenier’s face so that Rhyno could pin him. In a nice touch, Rhyno covered Grenier so that the ref couldn’t see that his face had been sprayed, and Tajiri covered his mouth so the ref wouldn’t see.

Coach tried to interview Lita, who wouldn’t talk, but then went into her locker room where all the heel women had set up a baby shower. They gave her some great gifts: a box of condoms and some birth control pills (since she likes to ‘sleep around’), a photo composite of her and Kane’s baby, a photo of the first time Kane kissed her, and her own ‘Big Red Machine’, if you know what I mean. Lita left and Trish followed, running into Victoria, who slapped her somethin’ fierce.

Victoria beat Gail Kim with the Widow’s Peak, which got a good pop. The match was OK, but I wish they’d let Gail do more submissions. The heel girls came out to beat on Victoria, but Stevie Richards, in drag, made the save. The crowd chanted Stevie, but no one else seems to know it’s him, which makes me think swerve. By the way, Victoria is still hot. Too hot. DAMN HOT!

Kane and Edge’s match wasn’t bad, since Edge always gives a good try, but it didn’t go over the average line. The crowd pretty much treated Edge like a heel, which is too early for that to be happening. Lita was at ringside, cheering on Edge. Matt Hardy ran in and gave Kane the Twist of Fate, which allowed Edge to get the spear for the win. Lita was happy that he lost. Kane brought her in, which led Lita to slap him. Kane apparently likes the rough stuff, and said that the honeymoon would be great. I’m still not sold on this angle.

Farewell, Michelle...

The Diva Search contestants were asked which of the women they’d want to see gone. Every one of them, except for Carmella, said Carmella. They mostly pointed out that Carmella didn’t really want to be there and was only in it for the money. Amy blasted her hardest, since there is animosity there that has existed for a good while. I think that Carmella is sunk, and that Amy has certainly taken over her place. Joy is still my second favorite. The voters said goodbye to Michelle, and the show goes on.

Chris Jericho beat Batista by DQ after Flair grabbed his foot while he was going for a Lionsault. The match was almost all Jericho, and afterwards, he got beat on by Evolution. Edge looked like he was thinking about making the save, but didn’t. Oh, I get it…Edge is supposed to be a heel!

The Diva Seachers came out in their swimsuits. Carmella really looked like she didn’t want to be there. Joy was great, ripping off a tiny shirt to reveal her bikini clad GINORMOUS cannons. Amy did the thing where she hikes up her bottom into a semi-thong.

HHH gave Randy Orton a really strong promo about how Orton had climbed to the top of the mountain and Evolution was right there with him. This made the rest of the show a little obvious, but still, great delivery.

Randy Orton and Chris Benoit had a great rematch. Benoit opened up with offense early, including a snap suplex, side suplex and Fisherman’s Buster. He’d later hit the Northern Lights Suplex, but Randy kicked out. Benoit started working on Orton’s knee, which Randy sold like a champ. We came back from commercial and Orton had control, used his dope over-the-back neckbreaker, but then, in a spot I don’t think I’ve ever seen, both Randy and Benoit did simultaneous neckbreakers to each other. A very smart spot.

By this point, I realized that Benoit was about to be sent way down, completely out of the main event mix so that he can bring better matches to the early and middle parts of the card. A shame after such a great run…even though he didn’t draw. Benoit started using a ton of submissions, including a Sharpshooter and crossface. Evolution came out to ringside, and Benoit knocked them all down, but walked right into the RKO, which gave Orton the pin. Great match.

HHH is twice as deadly when he dresses up for it.

After the match, Orton celebrated with Evolution, which led Batista to put Orton on his shoulders. After a while, Emperor H III ruled that Orton was to be thrown to the lions with the thumbs down. Batista dropped back and Evolution beat the tar out of him.

Like I said, not a great show, and the ending was pretty obvious, but there were still solid moments. Where’s Shelton?

News
So much news. We were the first to cover the level of concern the recent low ratings of WWE TV shows had raised among WWE higher-ups. There were a lot of meetings this weekend and it’s been said that Vince himself now sees that there is a serious problem and has called a bunch of meeting to discuss what happens next and how they’ll turn around the product. This would not be a good time to be one of the following people: Eddie Guerrero, JBL, Chris Benoit, Eugene or anyone not affiliated with HHH in a meaningful way. They will likely find a way to pin this on having weak champions for so long and will probably bury them in favor of HHH’s friends.

The real problem is the brand split, and I doubt that they’ll do anything about that. They need to realize that they don’t have enough top guys for two shows right now and they need to bring it all together into a single touring group. There is talk that the writing staffs are in trouble, which is scary considering that the writers get so much of their stuff over-ruled by Vince, and that the idea of bringing back former stars is popping up again.

The other big news was the way the Toronto fans reacted to the various wrestlers during SummerSlam. There was a near-total rejection of Eugene. They crapped all over the JBL/Undertaker match. They started a small (I didn’t hear while watching the tape) Benoit Sucks chant. They booed hometown boy Edge. HHH and Randy Orton got cheered. That type of thing should be expected in Philadelphia, but in Toronto? According to the Observer, the WWE office folks think that the crowd came for crazy spots and they got the toned-down WWE style. That’s a little delusional, but in reality, it was the lack of major program that people care about. Angle vs. Guerrero could have been that program, but Eddie getting hurt and Angle having lost some of his luster with his stint as General Manager brought that to a halt. These are dark times.

Bret Hart was at SummerSlam, but folks have been saying it was just to visit and not to talk to Vince about possible future projects. I hope that they settle soon, as a Bret Hart DVD would rock.

There is considerable talk that Kurt Angle and Undertaker are forming a bi-lateral force to rival HHH’s stroke with SmackDown!. Kurt has been working with writers and has been getting things worked his way. UT may have used his strong influence to get the John Heidenreich feud idea dropped. This is not a good thing, as the only thing that will pull the WWE out of its slump is a more unified look at the troubles they are facing.

Apparently, a crazed fan made it to where JBL’s limo was parked and danced on it a couple of minutes before the finish of the match, which made the spot turn out bad. Security took care of the guy.

Brock Lesnar got some playing time in the Vikings game this weekend. He did pretty well, including getting a big ovation for his first tackle. There is more buzz around him now, and it’s looking more and more like he’ll make the team in some significant form. By the way, of the biggest names to play both pro football and pro wrestling, Brock is the only one to go from wrestling to football.

By the way, Carmella’s no-show at Summerslam may end up costing her the spot. She told management at the last minute that she had somewhere else to be and didn’t show. She actually has a pretty bad attitude, which is odd as all of the Playboy fans/freaks I know say she’s really nice. No word on if this may have anything to do with her boyfriend, Gilroy's own Jeff Garcia. These same Playboy fans have also said that the only reason Carmella agreed to do it was that she was told that she would definitely win. Amy of the Diva Search is also seriously not a Carmella fan, and she’s been passed over for things in favor of Carmella before, which explains her harsh promo at RAW this week.

John Tenta, better known as Earthquake in the later 1980s WWF, The Shark in mid-1990s WCW, and Golga in late 1990s WWF, is in bad shape and has been told that he probably has just over a year to live. The Wrestling Observer reported that Tenta has a tumor in his left lung, enlarged lymph nodes, and serious heart ailments. I’d heard he was ill, but a guy of that size will frequently battle health issues. The Canadian was once a Sumo wrestler, if the stories are to be believed, and came to wrestling pretty late in life. He was actually pretty well-liked in wrestling circles, and was something of a jokester. He’s under going chemotherapy shortly to hopefully bring him back from the brink.

Also in the Observer, work has it that Stone Cold Steve Austin’s ex-girlfriend, Tess Broussard, tried to stab the SOB. There is a ton of news on this one, as there was a serious altercation at a restaurant in Beverly Hills, near the digs Austin shares with Diamond Dallas Page, and supposedly several at a previous party where Broussard pointed a gun at Austin’s head. This is a seriously messed up situation, as there are rumors of drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, a monetary pay-off to complete the break-up, and a 10 million dollar law-suit. Not everything is going Austin’s way right now.

FlashBack!
A crowd can turn an entire show from good to great, or from good to crap. The Toronto crowd certainly hurt Sunday’s SummerSlam. This wasn’t the first time that a WWE crowd had not cheered the right guys, and once in a while, it has changed the long-term booking of big stars.

The obvious place to start would be WrestleMania II. Mr. T had run his course and the WrestleMania II boxing match against Roddy Piper proved that if you hate the face enough, you’ll cheer the biggest heel in the business. Piper was getting cheered, and even the finish, where Piper went nuts, got him over positive. This led to Piper being turned face and a very good run for him on the side of good.

When Ric Flair came into the WWF in 1991, the most dreamed of matches in history, up to that point, could finally take place. Flair vs. Hogan. They started off with matches in Oakland and elsewhere on the West Coast. No one was surprised that Flair was getting cheered; it happened all the time in the Carolinas and once in a while when he’d go to places that he had never really worked. In several of these matches, Hogan was booed. Not just booed, but booed heavily. The Hulkamania thing was dead by that point, and people had turned on him fully. This led to the cancellation of the expected Flair vs. Hogan main event at WrestleMania VIII, and the Hogan vacation he took through most of 1992.

Bret Hart and Lex Luger are another great example. Royal Rumble 1994, Luger and Hart tie by going out at the same time. Luger had been planned to go over Yokozuna at Mania X, but the crowd was way behind Hart. The WWF had done tons of market research that had all pointed to Luger as Champ. The crowd did not go for Luger, and that was the reason for the booking change that led to Hart’s big 1994/5 run with the belt.

The most famous case is the SummerSlam 2002 match between The Rock and Brock Lesnar in New York. The fans in New York were massively cheering Brock. Not only that, but they were chanting ‘Rocky sucks!’ and booing the Rock, the biggest face in the biz at the time. Again, the WWE had market research that said that the fans wouldn’t accept the Rock as a heel, but the reaction of the New York fans, which is all that matters to many in the WWE, told the tale. The Rock was turned, and Brock followed by becoming a face not too much later.

You never can trust an audience to do the right thing. The WWE is learning that now the hard way: by losing the audience hand over fist.

That’s all for this one. On Friday, I’ll have more!

Chris Garcia