Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and There are People Out
There Who Are Saying Nice Things About Me!
pay in non-sequential hundreds.
If you’ve got a feud where you are likely to have
to put over a washed-up has-been like Hulk Hogan, you should
make the most out of every interview. Shawn Michaels, one
of the greatest promos in the history of the business, did
just that with his opening tirade.
amazing, talking about Bret Hart and how he screwed him
and how he’ll never come back because Shawn finished
him. Since they were in Montreal, it went over huge with
more heel heat than you’ll almost ever see. It was
great stuff. They did two fake outs, the first by playing
Bret Hart’s music, the second by playing Hogan’s.
No one came out either time and Shawn played it perfectly.
The Big Show
squashed the Heart Throbs with a Double Chokeslam. This
was a true squash. They have something good in the HTs,
but for some reason they aren’t interested in pushing
The Eugene Invitational
featured Rene Dupree, who came out to a serious face reaction.
Lawler kept making his Bizarro World references. Kurt Angle
ran in and jumped both Rene and Eugene before it got started.
He beat on the both of them for a while. Kurt made himself
into a maniac and they played that up big for the rest of
They cut Elizabeth
from the finals of the Diva Search, leaving Leyla and Ashley.
It kinda seemed like they just wanted to wrap it up quickly
and get it over with. My top two are the top two this year,
which could have happened last year if Joy and Amy had been
first and second instead of the red head and the Playmate.
Jericho ahead of time on becoming the new Heavyweight Champion.
Bischoff said that he couldn’t lose because they were
in Canada, but Jericho piped up that he was from Western
Canada, which was way different from Quebec. Carlito then
said his Canada-only catchphrase “That’s cool,
eh.” Funny stuff that led into the match. It was really
a handicapped match with Jericho and Carlito having to tag
in and out. Bischoff carried out the Canadian flag and that
managed to turn the crowd mostly behind Cena. There were
still hold-outs. The two worked over Cena for ages, and
Jericho eventually applied the Walls of Jericho, but Cena
powered out and knocked Jericho into Carlito, leading Cena
to make his comeback and hit the FU on Carlito. Jericho
then came in and gave Cena a serious head shot with the
chair to leave the big man laying. Good stuff.
I backed the
right horse from the start. Ashley won the whole thing and
is our newest Diva winner. She wore this terrible outfit,
but she showed a whole lot of boob. She kept screeching,
which was kinda annoying and kinda hot at the same time.
She’s certainly got the look to be a WWE Diva, and
she showed that she’s interested in learning the wrestling
side too. I like her!
pay in non-sequential hundreds.
Edge came out
with Lita to take on Val Venis. This got more time than
usual, and Edge got a face reaction, though the crowd chanted
things at Lita in Frog talk. The match was good with lots
of back and forth. Edge hit a spear and then put on the
Edge-acution for the submission. They gave Val a lot in
this match, which was a nice thing to see instead of burying
him on Velocity. He could really be a big name again.
Rob Conway was
checking himself out when Stacey showed up. He hit on her
a little and she said that Hurricane was prettier. Hurricane
came out and made some comments before the two had their
match. Conway won after Hurricane missed a Shining Wizard
and he hit the Ego Trip and a Flying Elbow. Again, nearly
Kurt Angle got
DQed in his match against Hulk Hogan when Shawn Michaels
came out and attacked Hogan. The match wasn’t good.
Hogan still throws those terrible punches and the only credible
offense he had was the throwing of Angle into the post on
the outside. Angle hit him with a couple of standard back
suplexes, but Hulk couldn’t get around for the AngleSlam.
Hulk hulked up, but when he went for the Big Boot, he could
only get his leg up to the bottom of Kurt’s chest.
HE paused to do the ear cup thing when Michaels attacked.
This show needs
help fast. After working out a deal with Bret where Montreal
wasn’t going to be the focus of a Bret DVD, they go
and do an episode where the entire focus is Bret Hart getting
screwed. Still, it was entertaining at times, especially
when they were exploiting the Montreal finish. There are
things which are slimey and backstabbing but are also good
TV, and this was one of those times. They also seriously
need to repush their tag team titles.
Frankie The Future Kazarian was let go from the WWE this
weekend. He’d wanted out and the WWE let him out.
It’s a shame because I really think he could be a
real star if they just gave him a chance. No word on where
he’ll turn up next, but I’m guessing Ring of
Honor is in the running.
and SD! last week both did very average numbers. They’ve
plateaued even though they’ve had Hogan around, so
those numbers were expected to be higher.
up TNA’s Sacrifice on Friday, as the tape hasn’t
arrived in my hot little hands. From what I hear, decent
show and with an AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe match, I don’t
This is the first SummerSlam in years that I know will be
a sad reminder of how hot SummerSlams used to be. There’s
a lot of great stuff there, but so little of it will connect
unless there is a miracle and the booking gets better.
Eugene vs. Kurt
Angle could be a good match. Eugene vs. Kurt Angle could
be a very bad match. I’m not sure which way they are
going to go with this one, but I’m guessing they’ll
give them about 10 minutes and that’ll be mostly comedy
from Eugene and Kurt then turns it on the beats the hell
out of Eugene. Unless they want to keep Eugene and Kurt’s
feud going for a potential cage match or some such in which
case Eugene gets the hell beaten out of him and he ends
up winning through some awesome reversal. I’m still
going with the former on this one.
vs. Eddie Guerrero in a Ladder match. At least that’s
what’s been going around. The Dominic storyline is
weird, and it almost requires that Eddie win here, but there’s
no guarantee that’s the way they’ll head. I
still think they’ll let Mysterio win and then drag
the feud another month or two. That’s not the smartest
move, but I wouldn’t mind seeing it go that way. The
ladder will allow the guys to do big moves and look good.
My only question is how they’ll handle the injury
factor. I’d still like to see them finish this here,
but I don’t think they will. Rey takes it in a spot
Randy Orton. This match should only have one ending: Randy
RKOing Undertaker and getting the pin. This should lead
to no more matches, but the two should be hinted at each
other until WrestleMania when the final of the best of three
takes place and UT finally loses at Mania. That’s
just smart business as Orton is young, likely the future
of the business if they let him be, and the Undertaker needs
to play some ball and create a new major star. I hope it
works out, because this is exactly what Orton needs right
on JBL for the Title. This is sad as I really don’t
much care. JBL won’t be getting the title now, and
probably not ever again, but Batista is stale and the people
aren’t responding to him like they did a few weeks
ago. Batista wins and this ends up being another step towards
the final match between these two at Survivor Series. End
will we really see the end of Hogan wrestling?
John Cena takes
on Chris Jericho for the title. The Jericho vs. Cena feud
has been hot, mostly due to the fact that Jericho has done
some great promos and Cena is super over with just about
everyone. I’m betting on a good match where Jericho
keeps Cena from looking too bad. That’s not easy,
and I’m fairly certain that this will be a regular
match and not a bloodbath. Cena retains and goes forward.
Jericho loses and is pushed for another few months as a
whiner who wants to be a rock star.
Matt Hardy vs.
Edge. The best mic work of the year belongs to Edge. His
promo last week just tore this thing wide open. He was great
and the way they reintroduced Matt was wonderful. Some have
said that this lost steam when Vince introduced Matt back
into the WWE and when he wrestled Gene Snitsky, but I think
these will both help him as he was given a win over Snitsky,
who is kinda pushed and certainly well-positioned, and is
looking strong going in. I’m excited and I think everyone
expects this to steal the show. I also expect that this
might turn out to be a bloodbath.
The Main Event
is Hogan vs. Michaels. Michaels shouldn’t lose, but
it won’t matter if he does. Hogan shouldn’t
win, but it won’t matter if he does. There’s
just no reason to have Hulk get the win. There’s a
good reason to give Shawn the win, because he’s gonna
be around in a year, but I don’t see Hulk letting
that happen. It’ll be one of those matches where the
atmosphere is what sells it. I don’t think this’ll
be as heated as Rock vs. Hogan, or Hogan vs. Warrior, but
I think it’ll be an event that folks can remember.
all for today. TNA and more on Friday!
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