Falls Count Anywhere

08-03-06

Falls Count Anywhere runs on Mondays and Thursdays -- finally back on track!

Packing for Pacheco Pass.

RAW
I liked RAW, though I was kinda distracted while trying to watch it and I missed the first twelve or so minutes. Apparently there was a feed mix-up and the very end of the show showed right after the start. That’s what happens when you don’t use fresh tapes every time.

When I started watching, they were doing a tribute to Vince using altered images that said "I Love Cocks" with the Rooster and so on. Pretty lame, really.

They showed all the girls in these little vignettes and the first girl said that she wanted to be the one eliminated. Weird. They let her run her time out. I’m not a fan of the Diva Search at all…except for Layla. I love me some Layla.

In a match between three guys I’m liking more and more every week, Shelton and Carlito both lost to Johnny Nitro. It was a good match since everyone seemed like they were really motivated. Shelton deserves to be higher on the card, having top-rank matches that make the big names look really good. Carlito’s been working harder and harder. Nitro, well, he’s a talent with a head full of bad ideas *coughMelinacough* and he’s really ready to break if they keep this IC reign longer than most. Carlito got caught with a Tornado DDT from Shelton, but Melina put his foot on the rope, which allowed Nitro to get a roll-up for the win. Fun stuff.

They did Orton Knows Best. It wasn’t funny. Randy gave Hulk an RKO. There was no joy in that segment at all.

Look at that intensity.

The ladies had a weird match. It would have been really good if they’d not missed they spots, including Trish badly botching the Stratusfaction for the pin. Candice Michelle opened up the match and was awful. When Trish tagged in and worked with Mickey they were pretty good. It was awesome when Trish turned a potential Mickey Hurrancanrana into a PowerBomb. Nice. The finish was botched, but at least there was intensity from Trish and Mickey.

Melina introduced Mick Foley. That’s a nice way of getting her more TV time. She’s really ready to be the next Sunny/Sable. Foley did a good promo talking about how there were nearly endless similarities between Flair and him. He also said that Flair was a personal friend of the President’s, which is at least somewhat true. I know Flair knew former President Bush through Ernie Ladd.

Flair then made his retort, which was awesome. Flair talked about Brody, Funk, Hansen and others saying that they weren’t imaginary bad-asses. He Flair was doin’ an old Memphis-style interview, which is a good thing. He asked if the crowd wanted Flair vs. Foley, and they didn’t get a great reaction. Flair said that Foley’s family man crap is bunk and that he’s running around with Melina, who is the type of woman who would’ve stood in line to take a ride on Space Mountain while he was World Champ.

Foley said that they were both also fathers, though he never had the bonding experience of having to tell his son that he’d been arrested. Flair attacked Foley. Great stuff, You can’t beat Foley at the top of his game or Flair when he’s given a chance.

John Cena beat Matt Striker. Edge was on commentary and it was a fast match.

Rory of The Highlanders beat Johnny of the Spirit Squad. There really wasn’t much to this match. They tossed the SS from ringside and Rory won with a roll-up. Really, the Highlanders are a great gimmick and in this match, they weren’t able to play with the gimmick much. Still, I like Rory.

They eliminated Rebecca from the Diva Search. Layla remains!

Umaga's about to play Little Jack Horner with HBK

Umaga beat Shawn Michaels. This was a weird match, since they can easily job Michaels right now since he’s not in the hunt for the title at all, but they didn’t put over Umaga as strongly as they could have. This was an OK match with a lot of back and forth. The requisite run-in from the McMahons allowed Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike and get the pin.

OK night of wrestling, but not the best.

ECW
This match proved that the WWE’s ECW has no idea how to work for the old ECW crowd. They were at the Hammerstein Ballroom and they gave the crowd The Big Show vs. Batista as a main event. They need to understand that ECW fans aren’t going to respond positively to these WWE matches, especially if they’re at a site where they know what old ECW was like.

Test teamed with Mike Knox to take on Tommy Dreamer and Sandman. This was an interesting match. They had a storyline and they let Dreamer take a merciless pounding. There was a lot of brawling, some of it good, most of it OK. Sandman and Dreamer were about to suplex Knox into a barbed wire board, but Test gave Dreamer a cane shot that was just sick. Kelly Kelly, who has a stupid name, tried to save Mike Knox from getting caned by Sandman, but Sandman moved her out of the way and just destroyed Knox all the way back to the lockerroom.

It ended up with Dreamer spanking Kelly Kelly, which was funny. Paul Heyman came out and had his security with him. They tosses Dreamer into the board, then Test took him out and pushed him back in before hitting the TKO for the win. Lots of fun.

Sabu talked! He said he wanted Big Show. Paul Heyman said no.

CM Punk debuted and beat Justin Credible. This was the only time I really felt like the fans at the Hammerstein were really happy with the product they were getting. He was treated like a major star by the crowd and it was the perfect place to bring him in. He did some MMA-lookin’ stuff, which allowed Joey and Tazz to drop a bit of science on the crowd, but Credible came back with traditional Pro Wrestling work. That’s the smart way to go. If you’ve got a guy with a Strong-Style gimmick, put him in with guys who do traditional pro-wrestling. The contrast works.

The best chance ECW has...

Punk came back with a Flying Clothesline and a Spinning Back Fist. That was sweet. He used an uranage into a clutch for the win. Really good stuff and Punk’s well on his way. The showdown between him and Kurt Angle will be very interesting.

The Brooklyn Brawler made his ECW debut and was brilliant! The Brawler said he was too extreme for Raw and SmackDown! and that he will be ECW champion. Kurt came out and he was given a nice reaction. They were smart to put him on after CM Punk, because that meant that the crowd was in the mood to be appreciative. Kurt won with the Ankle Lock. Good to have him back.

The crowd crapped all over the Batista-Big Show match. They were both booed, the crowd chanted ‘You both suck’ and there were ‘boring’ chants. At least Big Show had the right idea. He made the ‘It’s all about the money’ sign and flipped the crowd off, which is the right way to go about it, trying to get real heel heat in the middle of a bad situation.

A belt shot ended things on a DQ, as if the crowd needed more reason to hate the current ECW, and Sabu ran in. That was the highlight of a terrible main event.

The first ¾ of the show was pretty awesome. The opener was like old ECW without the strong booking. The CM Punk and Kurt Angle things were very well done. The Main Event was everything that’s wrong with ECW today. They need to rework it and make it into something a little more like old ECW so they don’t alienate their core audience.

Remember: it’s your core audience that pays your mortgage. While the casuals are the ones that pay for your boat, they can also dry up and float away without notice.

That’s all for this week. More when things are new!

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Chris Garcia