Falls Count Anywhere

07-31-06

Falls Count Anywhere runs on Mondays and Thursdays -- finally back on track!

Someone's hot for doctor.

NEWS
Some news on the liver issues. Khali is still out, as is SuperCrazy, but Bobby Lashley is back because he’s back on track. Matt Hardy was suspended, but it might have been steroid-related. Tatanka was also suspended, though it wasn’t medical in nature from what I understand.

SMACKDOWN
We open with Batista vs. Kennedy. It wasn’t a bad match, short and fast, but it did what I wanted it to do. It got Kennedy more over because he got the win. Basically Batista was working over Kennedy, he rolled out and when Batista went for a clothesline, he hit the ringpost and ended up getting counted out. I’m liking the way they’re pushing Kennedy a good bit with this mini-feud. Kennedy was about to get the DemonBomb, but he managed to roll out of the ring to safety.

Vito took on Simon Dean. It’s a shame that they’re wasting TV time on this. Vito was in the dress and they were busy pushing that it was simply another mind game the same way they did with Goldust. The gimmick works better if they’re really presented as being serious nuts and not just playing a character. Dean got a lot of offense, including a nice double stomp, but it ended up with Vito hitting a DDT and then the submission. It wasn’t that bad, but I really didn’t want to see it.

We call this move "milking the buffalo."

The on-his-way-out Tatanka lost to Sylvan Grenier. Tatanka has looked good recently, and even though he’s never been great at the wrestling portion, he’s always had something of an interesting look. This was pretty basic, with Tatanka using moves like bodyslams and his typical chops. Sylvan was his regular wiley self, but it didn’t work that well for me. It ended up with Sylvan hitting the TKO for the win. They had to job Tatanka before the suspension, didn’t they?

In one of the best non-Trish woman’s matches in recent memory, Michelle beat Jillian Hall. Dean Malenko’s been the one training the girls, so they’re having good short matches. Michelle’s character is fun, especially when she was making fun of Jillian’s fake boobs. Jillian hit a backhandspring elbow! That was cool, especially since it showed off her thing Lita-stylee. Michelle gets a face full of Jillian’s assets and after thrashing Michelle for a moment or two, she missed a legdrop and that allowed Michelle to get a roll-up with the feet on the rope for the win.

Chavo did a promo saying that he didn’t owe anyone an explanation about his turn. Well, why should he? The writing staff couldn’t tell you why he did it beyond “We had to turn SOMEBODY!”

They did another Royal Celebration for Booker T. They had girls throwing roses and they had balloons falling and they had a carriage bringing Booker and Sharmell to the ring. They’re making the most of this gimmick, though it’s still not nearly as good as it could be. They’re missing a manager like Bobby Heenan who could really make this match work. Rey Mysterio interrupts and hits a senton on Booker and then a 619! This was a nice way of getting some of Rey’s heat back.

They had Regal and Finlay have a rematch for the US title. They’re turning Finlay, which is wrong. They could have easily turned Regal, who has a great charisma. There was a little bit of the old Regal-Finlay out there, but it wasn’t great. The crowd actually started to chant for Finlay, which was probably a good thing for the writers. Little Bastard hit Regal with the stick and that allowed Finlay to get the roll-up. Little Bastard and Finlay celebrated afterwards.

Garcia finally gets the hang of pimping these pics.

Diva Search. Layla was still there and she still looked good. She didn’t win. I didn’t care.

Teddy Long and Paul Heyman had a moment where Heyman said that Teddy overstepped his bounds by putting the Big Show in the Punjabi Prison match. Heyman then says that he wants Long to put a wrestler against Big Show on ECW. Teddy chooses Batista.

They debuted Sylvester Terkay against Matt Hardy. Sylvester Terkay is the real deal. He’s right up there with Lashley. He worked stiff, and Hardy always makes stiff work look great. Terkay came out with Elijah Burke. They should have brought back Clarence Mason III. He was awesome. Ends with Terkay using a Kimura for the win. If they give him the bad man gimmick they had for him in Japan, he’ll go far.

The Main Event was Booker vs. Rey. It was a good match that I was into. It was a basic match that I thought was as good as the one on the PPV. Booker looks good, which is nice since he’s had so many injuries in the last couple of years. There are a lot of ‘Eddie’ chants, as always. Rey looked great, and he’s been on a roll since WrestleMania, even if they’ve not booked him strongly. Sharmell distracted the ref and Chavo came out and he tossed Rey into the barricade and then Booker hit the ScissorKick and that allowed him to win.

OK show, not perfect, but it was one that I liked.

TNA
I saw a little bit of TNA on Saturday before I fell asleep. It was good, with the way they built up Rhino vs. Samoa Joe being very good from the first segment. I saw all of the match with Sonjay Dutt vs. Shark Boy vs. Petey William vs. someone else who I missed. It was a fun X-Division match with Petey coming out on top with the Canadian Destroyer on Shark Boy. Fun match, even though they had a commercial break in the middle.

They had Abyss and Little Runt brawl a little. They had Myson sell that he always squared off against the biggest guy in the lockerroom and that’s why he was going at Abyss. It was a good promo, but the former Spike Dudley has always been good on the stick.

That’s all for today. There’s more on Thursday!

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Chris Garcia