Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I’ve just discovered
that The Ghastly Ones are Back!
one of the Gassy Ones.
This was a strange edition, hard to say whether it was a
positive or a negative, in fact. There were a few good things,
and some bad things, but little of it had to do with the
show and much of it had to do with positioning.
We opened with
Theodore R. Long in the ring, ready to announce Undertaker
vs. Batista when JBL said that his contract guaranteed him
a rematch if it wasn’t a solid finish. Teddy then
said that JBL and UT would meet in a match for the shot
at SummerSlam later in the show. I love Theodore Long, as
I’ve said many times, and it seems that he’s
lasted forever in a role that most folks thought he’d
only be in briefly.
and Orlando Jordan took on Benoit and Booker T in a tag
match. It was pretty good as you have two great workers,
a solid worker who’s really over at times and Orlando
Jordan. The faces started out with fists of fury, knocking
the heels out of the ring. Benoit started off with Jordan
and things were really good early on. Benoit went for a
Crossface early, but Christian broke it up.
back and forth a bit, with a nice segment where Orlando
stopped Booker from hitting a Scissors Kick with a clothesline
and Christian used a Spinning Heel Kick for a near fall.
Christian got on a roll with a Reverse DDT, but he was stopped
by a Booker T Side Kick.
Booker could still lick Benoit's wrists.
Benoit tagged in, he cleaned up with Rolling Germans and
a lot of furious offense before locking in the Crossface
on Jordan. Christian could have stopped him, but he chose
not to. Hmmmmm…I wanna see where that goes.
Animal had Heidenreich
shave himself into a Mohawk. The two of them later squashed
a pair of jobbers. Why are they champs?
Melina told the
other two MNMers that she had hired a publicist, Jillian.
She had a smokin’ bod, I mean really smokin’,
but she also had a downside. She talked to Mercury and Nitro,
who were kinda disgusted, and then when she turned to the
camera, we saw that she had a giant mole. This was lame.
They should never have taken the belts off of MNM unless
they gave them right back with a destruction that left one
or more of the faces injured to get MNM over as the real
deal. There’s some seriously bad booking going on
with these guys.
part of the night that really had me going back and forth,
Rey Mysterio brought out his son Dominic and that led Eddie
to coming out. He said even though he lost at the Bash,
he was going to tell the secret. Rey charged Eddie, but
Eddie rushed out the secret, announcing that he was Dominic’s
papi. That part wasn’t badly done.
asked Rey if it was true and then ran off through the crowd
with Rey running after him. Eddie then went into the ring
with a big children’s book called Eddie’s
Bedtime Stories. I’d love to get a copy. He told
the story of how he and his wife were on the outs and that
he slept with a bunch of sluts and that one of them turned
out to be Rey’s wife and that Rey was shootin’
blanks. Well, years of spinning and flying around a wrestling
ring will do that to a guy. This was too long, but Eddie
was good in his role. I’m still not loving this angle,
but this was OK.
Melina came out
of the ring with Jillian to take on Torrie who had Candace
Michelle. They basically used the match as an excuse to
show shots of Jillian’s mole. The match was awful,
and UPN sucks because they blurred every panty shot from
Melina. Well, they kinda had to because she was wearing
a thong under that microscopic skirt. Melina won, but did
it really matter?
ref ain't gettin' it blurred.
Concessions Manager found the Mexicools slacking and assumed
that they were supposed to be working. Juvy mocked him in
at least two languages. The next match between the criminally
underused William Regal and Scotty 2 Hotty started, but
the Mexicools came out. They beat everyone up, including
the ref. I like the Mexicools, but they need to wrestle
more than do these angles.
got beat by John Bradshaw Layfield in a match that went
way too long, but it was fairly good considering who was
in there. JBL came out with his ribs taped from the match
at the Bash. Undertaker took over and ran with the offense
for a long time, I think almost five minutes. JBL managed
to get the advantage with a poke to the eyes. JBL went up
top, but UT used a Spinebuster off the second rope. UT hit
Snake Eyes, and then, when Orlando Jordan hit the ring apron,
gave him a big boot. Ref bumps led to Jordan interfering,
but the big deal was that UT got near falls for a Downward
Spiral and a DDT. JBL used a low blow with the ref dealing
with Jordan. Undertaker managed to get the Tombstone on
JBL, but Randy Orton gave Undertaker the RKO as his return
and that allowed JBL to win and he’ll face Batista
I said, ponderous.
Chris Jericho has re-upped. He’ll be hanging on for
two more years and I believe that he’ll be doing more
shows with Fozzy and even more VH1 specials. Oddly, an intern
friend of mine at MTV-Old Folks has said that Jericho is
one of the favorites around the studio.
reported by a couple of different sources that both Jamie
Noble and Spanky have re-signed to the WWE. That’s
nice, as they were a little thin on flying talent and those
two always guaranteed a fun match. Not sure what plans there
are at the moment.
a lot of talk about why Batista wasn’t on SmackDown!.
One thing that may be the case is that Vince might be mad
at how the Great American Bash went. He was quite upset
on the day of the show, though no one’s quite sure
what got him annoyed the most. There’s word that Batista
is seen as a guy who can only work with HHH and look good.
I think if they put him in a feud with Randy Orton or Brock
Lesnar he’ll do just fine.
at WWE’s Firings
I didn’t do a look at the positives and negatives
of the recent releases. I really should have because it’s
not all just people getting dropped that didn’t need
to be let go. There were some that were positive releases
for the WWE and some that were negatives.
with the ladies.
A last look at Dawn Marie, for Garcia's sake.
Dawn Marie- Positive. Sadly, they let her go while
she was pregnant, which sucked. They should have kept her
on the books until she delivered, but what are you gonna
do? She really hadn’t done anything interesting in
ages and with a kid coming, it was not likely that she was
going to allow wrestling to be her number one priority.
Also, with the latest stream of Divas, she seemed the odd
woman out at times.
Giovanni- positive. I loved Joy. She was freakin’
hot and her stuff with Amy Weber was really good, but once
she was gone and the Big Show angle finished, there was
really no need for her.
Gayda- positive. If they hadn’t of done the dumb
angle with Haas a few months ago, she could easily have
been able to carry a program, but as it worked out, they
had killed her off anyhow.
The Dudleys- Negative. The Most Decorated Tag Team
in WWE history and they were released? Two of the most recognizable
faces from ECW and they didn’t get their contracts
renewed? These were the two that are most needed in getting
MNM over. They would have been invaluable in helping get
the Heart Throbs over, but no, they were let go. I understand
cost cutting measures, but this was a very bad call. These
guys draw money.
Maven- Big Positive. He was charismatic and at
times he had shown great potential, but he was never going
to be a big star. They were smart to get him out of there,
and I’m betting he’ll do well in indies and
perhaps in TNA.
Dudley- Negative. Spike was a team player and a good
worker in a very different category than any of the other
smaller wrestlers. He didn’t draw money, that’s
true, but he did have good matches and added a lot to the
Janetty and Gangrel- Positive. They weren’t on
TV, and though there may have been storylines for either,
really, they weren’t going to make a difference.
Haas- Negative. They had something with Haas and they
blew it. There was a natural feud waiting for him if they
traded him to RAW with Shelton, and he had just had that
nice run of matches teaming with Bob Holly. He’ll
end up in RoH or TNA, but he’ll have his feet before
too long. He could have been a good undercard feud.
Suzuki- positive. Despite the fact that he entertained
me, I was certainly in the minority. He wasn’t a very
good worker nor could he do promos that built interest in
his programs. He was a failed experiment.
As you can see,
with a few exceptions, the WWE really did the right thing.
They should have re-signed all three Dudleys and Haas, but
the others were no loss and in fact may end up helping clear
some dead wood so that others get more time. Plus, the return
of Brock Lesnar and CM Punk coming up will help too.
all for this week. Next week will be a Tuesday only, as
I’m out of town on Friday.
about today's column in the forums!