Falls Count Anywhere

07-06-06

Falls Count Anywhere will now be runs on Mondays and Thursdays -- more wrestling means more Garcia...

A little Visine might clear that up.

Huge News (and How It’ll Make ECW an Endangered Species)
On July 1st, a little before Midnight, RVD and Sabu were driving home from a House Show. They got pulled over and the officer smelled pot.

After investigating, the officers discovered that both guys were holding weed (though small amounts, less than 19 grams each) and several dubious painkillers (though Sabu probably had a scrip for them). Needless to say, in the WWE’s current Anti-Drug phase this can’t just be covered up.

They announced that RVD has been suspended for 30 days. Since Sabu was only arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia, he was given a $1,000 fine and no suspension. That really would have killed ECW to have both guys down, and it’ll still be rough with things as they stand.

This is a huge blow, especially since RVD and Sabu are the two biggest draws in ECW. In fact, they’re the only two draws in ECW. Kurt’s out for injuries again, there’s word that Big Show may be out some time off soon, and Sandman doesn’t really want to work much. There’s no one else that can carry the brand. The WWE is going to have to scramble but fast to get new talent.

Jerry Lynn could probably be had, but he was never as big a deal as RVD and has been constantly hurt. Dean Malenko could be brought out of retirement, though he’s against it. Taz, despite being the guy who would make the most difference to the ECW brand, won’t do it. They could try and convince Chris Benoit back, but he’s hurt too. There’s always Jericho, but he’s said he doesn’t wanna come back. ECW is on shaky ground.

RAW
Speaking of shaky ground, RAW sucked. I couldn’t even watch the entire thing. I was flipping back and forth all night. There were tons of DX at a BBQ and in the production truck bits that just totally bombed. There was one segment where HHH was talking to Candice Michelle and they were supposedly both getting serviced under the table, yet you could totally tell that neither was in a position to do such and Candice’s pants were still on. It was lame.

Torrie looks so much like a Jack Kirby babe right now...

Edge and Lita came out and talked about beating Van Dam for the title. Lita then wrestled and beat the hell out of Torrie Wilson. It was nice to see her back in the ring. Torrie did get a little offense, but Lita won with a DDT. Done are her days of finishing things with the Moonsault.

Spirit Squad beat the All-Star team of Gene Snitsky, Eugene, Hacksaw Jim Duggan (HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!), Big Viz and Val Venis. The Spirit Squad going over all those guys is pretty ridiculous, but at least the finisher, a combo Legdrop and Senton, was kinda awesome.

The Highlanders debuted and were pretty funny, They got an OK reaction considering they’re new. They did a lot of headbutt-based offense. They finished off Conway with the ScotDrop, a Double Fireman’s Carry into a Face-First drop. I like those guys.

More Shawn Michaels stuff in the truck. Vince went to the ring and they messed with his voice and stuff. The crowd actually seemed to like it but I thought it was annoying as hell. The segment ran way too long and it really didn’t do anything.

Carlito and Johnny Nitro had an OK little match. Carlito has become a flyer and he even did a proper Frankensteiner (that’s a Hurrancanrana while the opponent is running). Carlito was about to win the whole thing when Melina ran in and caused the DQ. That led Trish to coming out. The Trish-Melina feud could be a good one, but what of Mickey James?

The first Diva segment came on. The only one I’m interested in at all is Jennifer Walcott, and that’s only because I got to chat with her in an elevator once and she is well-versed in airport fiction.

Umaga beat a jobber. DX did some belching effects when Armando tried to talk. I am hating DX more and more, though the in-building crowds seem to like it all.

One belt to rule them all...

In the only thing of any saving grace to the show, Edge won the World Title over RVD in a really good match that included John Cena. Everyone was on, with Cena continuing his streak of good matches where he not only doesn’t hurt, but he even helps. His timing is getting much better. Lots of FU attempts that didn’t hit.

RVD did a Crossbody to Edge’s back. Lita ended up taking an FU. The finish, which was the completely right one to do if RVD’s getting punished, was Cena hitting the FU, Edge hitting Cena from behind and then covering RVD for the belt. Really strong stuff and it almost made me happy to have watched the show.

ECW
Well, there were fireworks, OK? I did get to see it on tape, but I fast-forwarded a fair amount.

They started with Big Show demanding a title match. That was the worst way they could have opened a show. I knew they had to get the belt off of him, but The Big Show. They should have gone full tilt to get someone with an ECW cred in, offered them big money and gone with them.

Mike Knox, with Kelly (whose full name is now Kelly Kelly) beat Little Guido with the Downward Spiral. Knox is pretty good, and the Kelly thing could work out.

Tony DeVito pretended to be a religious guy and said that all the ECW fans were sinners. Enter Sandman, apply cane to jackass and that’s that.

Mysteriously, Kelly's are the only photos on the ECW site...

Hey, Al Snow’s back! I know he’s been in a couple of other matches, but it was good to see him one-on-one against Test. Test looked good, and the crowd got into chanting at him. Test worked harder than he used to and in a good bit, he punted Head into the crowd. He may just work out in the end.

CM Punk showed up and did his Ring of Honor character as the hard core Straight-Edge guy. He might be a positive step as he’s got the clean living thing down (It’s not just a gimmick, he is a clean-living dude) and he’s talented. They’ll probably end up pushing him because he’s the only thing they’ve got right now…unless they bring in Samoa Joe (that would be sweet).

Big Show won the belt in an interesting fashion. RVD hit Show with a chair and then got the Five Star. The ref was out and then Heyman came out to make the count, but then he stopped. RVD was wondering what the hell was going on, Show hit him with a chair and then a chokeslam on the chair and Heyman counted for Show.

The crowd reacted like the crowd did the night Hogan turned to the nWo. There was trash being thrown into the ring and people chanting ‘You Sold Out’. At least there was a good storyline, but they really need to make something happen to get the belt off of Big Show.

All in all, ECW’s in some deep water right now.

That’s all for this week. I’ll be back with more on Monday.

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Chris Garcia