Falls Count Anywhere

06-19-06

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Falls Count Anywhere will now be running on Mondays and Thursdays -- more wrestling means more Garcia...

Ponch was not amused.

Friday Night
I watched a bit of SmackDown!, not the entire thing, but enough of it to get the feeling the SmackDown! just caught a lucky break.

The show opened with JBL announcing that he’s the new color guy in SD!ville. He wanted to go after Rey, but Michael Cole, ever the voice of reason, said that he’d lose his job if he did. That flowed into the Gregory Helms vs. Rey Mysterio match. It wasn’t a bad match, just not overly compelling. Helms did a nice Spinebuster for a near fall. Of course, 619 and legdrop means that Rey got the win in a pretty fast match. I enjoyed it.

King Booker came out and Lashley was about to follow when Regal and Finlay attacked him. Fit played the role of Jeff Gillooley and shackwhackled Lashley’s knee with the Shillelagh. The doctor told Lashley that he wouldn’t be able to have his match, but Lashley said that nothing would stop him.

The lucky break that SmackDown! caught was the return of Ken Kennedy. The luckiest part was that he was even more over than when he left. The guy is ready to be a big star and given the right push, he’ll be right there with Lashley in a year or so as the headlining heel. He’s just that good. He finished off the jobber with the Green Bay Meat Packer, as the folks at 411 Wrestling have started calling it.

After that, I started to get ready to leave but I did see Sylvan Grenier’s new gimmick as the Ambassador to Quebec. It’s a funny gimmick and the piece made me want to actually go and visit. I’ve heard folks say that the WWE version is far better than the actual commercials they play.

Is this praising with faint damnation?

Now, the reason you’re not to get your panties all in a bunch about me leaving my post in front of my TV is that I went to see Nacho Libre. It’s entirely possible that Nacho will be the highest grossing Wrestling movie of all time. It appears to have made more than 25 million this weekend alone, which I believe puts both No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble to shame.

As a movie, I thought Jack Black was hilarious. He basically took a ten page script and using facial tics and bizarre mugging turned it into a 100 minute movie. It was funny, it was strange, it had a very good soundtrack and it was not too sensible. The wrestling scenes were ridiculous and made me laugh, especially the guy called El Snowflake, who did the Earnest the Cat Miller Splits into a nutshot. The nun was especially hot, which is always a plus.

The two minor characters who deserve some notice are the guy who played Ramses, the CMLL wrestler Silver King. He did a very good job playing the heel in the film and you didn’t even get to see his face. I was impressed with his screen presence. The other was the fat kid, Chancho. I never understand why it appears that they don’t make Husky-sized clothes in Mexico because everytime they show a pudgy Mexican kid, his belly is hanging out. He was really good in the movie.

NEWS
Batista came back for the house shows this weekend and did Hot Tag spots so he had limited time in the ring. They seem to be taking it slow with him, which is a good idea. The guy’s nearly 40; they need to make him last.

According to The Observer, Vince made an announcement to his writing staff that John Cena is the future of the WWE and that he was to be protected as if he were Hogan or Austin. That’s a big announcement to his staff, as Vince hasn’t gone on record like that since he said the same thing about Austin.

Slammin'!

TNA Slammiversary
Four years ago, I sat in the living room of Ms. Sarah Stanek with Jordan Rosa and the inimitable Mr. Goodson (of Chairshots fame) and enjoyed the first TNA PPV. It was good stuff. The Anniversary show that took place on Sunday was good, had a few issues and started some intrigue that makes me want to watch TNA’s TV more often than I manage to right now.

They opened (I think it might have been on the pre-show) with 3D complaining about the ‘New Show’ saying that it wasn’t hard core. They then had a Bingo Hall Brawl with BJ James and Kip. This was a basic weapons brawl and ended up being only OK. They busted open the former Mr. Ass with the Cheese Grater. The 3D gave Team 3D the win.

Rhino beat Bobby Roode and Scott D’amore after he tossed Roode to the floor and nailed Scotty with the Gore. This wasn’t a great match, but I like Rhino more than most, so I was amused.

Senshe beat Alex Shelley, Petey Williams, Jay Lethal, Shark Boy and Sonjay Dutt in a match where the winner got a shot at the X Division Title. It was a fast-paced match with lots of big moves (especially from my man Sonjay!). Petey Williams got the Canadian Destroyer to eliminate Jay Lethal, but he got pinned by Senshe. It ended up with Senshe eliminating Dutt with a Tree of Woe like thing into a dropkick into Sonjay’s chest. I’m not sure what it’s called, but I still think I’d rather have had Sonjay winning the whole thing.

Kevin Nash got into the ring with Alex Shelley. Nash won. I was not impressed by it early, so I made me some dinner.

In a really strong match, AJ Styles and Chris Daniels beat America’s Most Wanted to win the Tag Team Titles. Styles and Daniels controlled things early, but those crazy AMW boys used tag team chicanery to get the advantage. There was some real nice brawling on the outside between the teams. Gail Kim liberally interfered and the guys brought out a chick to beat on Gail and keep her from interfering. Storm hit Chris Daniels with a chair, but a roll-up after only got two. Styles hit a Gutbuster but missed the Spinal Tap.

Lots of near falls and escapes, including Storm clotheslining Daniels to keep Harris from getting the Angel’s Wings. The finish was Harris getting hit by accident with a beer bottle by Storm, allowing Styles to get the Frogsplash and Daniels got the Best Moonsault Ever to win the belts. Really solid match

In a match that proves that Samoa Joe can make anyone have an entertaining match, Joe pinned Scott Steiner. Lots of brawling early leads to a great spot where Steiner rolled outside and then Joe came through the ropes with an Elbow Suicida! That’s the move that made Mitsuharu Misawa famous and he’s not even the pudgy guy that Joe is. Steiner did OK with his offense, including a PowerBomb and an awesome Chairshot. It looked like it caved Joe’s head in at first.

I gotta give Scotty credit as he took the Blue Thunder Driver from Joe. That’s more than he had to do to get the guy over. Steiner got put in the choke, but managed to get out! Joe put it on while Scotty was standing and ended up taking a Steiner Low Blow and then an awesome Half-Nelson Suplex. It looks like Joe landed right on his head. Scott then got the Steiner Recliner, but Joe got out, hit a Powerslam and managed the win. Really good match considering Scott Steiner was involved. He really tried and put on a good effort.

Conspiracy? Or good business sense?

I didn’t get into the Main Event much, mostly because I don’t like Jeff Jarrett and it always seems that he wins these things on the big shows. I think the whole King of the Mountain thing is pretty weak, where you have to get a pin and then you can hang the belt to win the match. It’s just silly!

Everyone did a ton of big spots, including Abyss falling through a bunch of tables. They used the ladder and all sorts of tables and such to good effect, but it was the finish, where Jeff Jarrett managed to hang the belt while the crowd pelted him with soda bottles, that really stands out. I mean there’s no way JJ should come out on top of a match like this. Christian Cage? Yes. Abyss? Maybe. Sting? Not preferable, but it’d do.

Luckily, Jim Cornette announced that they’d be holding up the belt. It’s interesting, as they gave the crowd a completely dissatisfying ending and more than likely they’ll give them a satisfying one later. It’s an interesting way to go.

That’s all for today! I’ll be back with a Thursday review of RAW and ECW and any news that might come up.

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Chris Garcia