Falls Count Anywhere

06-15-04

In touch with my inner unicorn.

RAW
What a difference a day makes, from a dead crowd in Columbus to a hot crowd in Rick Scaia’s former stomping grounds of Dayton. This show was helped by the heat, though there certainly were some strange moments and choices.

Kane started the show by entering Eric Bischoff’s office. Bisch told Kane that he had to choose a new number one contender and Kane took it well. Then he started tearing up the office. Nice way to keep Kane over as a monster.

Jim Ross was in the ring wearing an awesome suit. He called out Shawn Michaels and HHH to officially end their feud. The guys stared each other down for a while, then they started to try and shake hands. The guys were great at this point. Bischoff came out and said that he had an announcement about the new number one contender, which drew Kane out.

Kane attacked Shawn Michaels with a huge boot to the face. HHH stared Kane down for a bit, then smiled and bid Kane to do what he would to Shawn. This involved Kane beating the hell out of Shawn, throwing him all over the outside, then bringing him into the ring and placing a chair around his head. Kane then stomped on the chair and Shawn started coughing up blood.

This was a seriously great angle. I think that Shawn Michaels may be the best guy at getting over angles like this. He did it in 1995 when he collapsed in the ring and got everyone talking. This was great and the way they worked the crew and the commentary was perfect. I thought this angle could have been played up even more, but they way they did it worked so well for me that the rest of the show gets a better look.

Trish and Tyson do a trust fall.

Matt Hardy and Lita took on Tyson Tomko and Trish Stratus in a match where Lita and Trish looked pretty good, but Tyson botched spots, including one where he was supposed to catch Matt flying off the top and he ended up falling and knocking Matt dumb into the ropes on the other side of the ring. Lita looked better than she has since she came back. She hit an awesome Float-over Russian Leg Sweep and a nice suplex. Trish did her backbend dodge move. It ended with Lita pinning Trish. Should be an interesting feud…again.

Bischoff had a little talk with HHH about the number one contender slot, mentioning that HHH would have to face an undefeated star for the shot next week. That star turned out to be Eugene. HHH smiled.

They talked with the guy who was the first Joe Schmo, and he was pumped. He brought the hot chicks from the show with him too. They then did an extended plug for the second Joe Schmo and it doesn’t look great…until they get to the part where the host calls down a falcon! That was genius. When someone gets kicked off, the host, in a hugely fake British accent, says ‘The Falcon has spoken.’ This has nothing to do with wrestling, but you gotta support Spike TV sometimes. This segment did take a lot of time, and it is sort of telling why they managed to get all the extra time for the main event.

La Resistance took on Hurricane and Rosie in a match where the winning team got their flag raised and would be allowed to sing their national anthem. Hurricane took some nice bumps, and the match wasn’t good, but it ended with Grenier getting the pin. He then butchered O, Canada with a French rendition. Still a good show, if only for the opening angle.

Hugging him, petting him, calling him George.

Eugene was the guest on the Highlight Reel. Eugene was way over, as usual. Jericho said the two of them were a lot alike: both were huge wrestling fans, both won at Bad Blood and both were sexy beasts. Eugene enjoyed that. Eugene’s favorite Jericho moment? When he peed in William Regal’s tea, which Eugene apparently repeated recently. William seemed most unpleased, but the both of them seemed apologetic. Evolution came out and Eugene was all excited since HHH is his favorite wrestler. HHH said that Evolution was Eugene’s friend and gave him a hat, a shirt, and a signed photo. They did a great tease when they were about to take a picture together and HHH had him say Pedigree, but they just took the picture and no attack ensued. The crowd was hating HHH and William Regal was looking like he was boiling over like a stoic Englishman. HHH said not to listen to anyone who said that HHH wasn’t his friend. Eugene and Regal walked back up the ramp. Great stuff here.

Stacey and Lita talked backstage. Lita told Stacey that she was pregnant. This better not go the way I think it’s gonna go…though who knows, she may actually be pregnant, though I doubt it since she wrestled earlier in the night.

Stacey and Nidia (now with Gigante Juggs of Doom) took on Molly and Gail Kim in a match that was loads better than I thought it would be. Nidia opened up with Molly, and while Nidia is pretty limited, she had a lot of fire in her work. Molly and Gail were really good and I am sold on the idea that Gail Kim is a submissions expert. After Nidia tagged in Stacey, Gail worked her over with a bunch of fun submissions. Eventually, Gail but that Brock Lock thing on Stacey and got the submission. Not at all bad.

The main event was a long Six-Man Elimination match between Orton, Batista and Flair and Jericho, Benoit and Edge. The match started out very hot, though the crowd seemed to become winded in the middle. They sort of worked it like a Mexican Trios match, where everyone come in at the start to work a few moves and then tags out. IT was really good stuff. They took a commercial break and then we got back and Flair and Benoit were trading chops. I still love Flair, but he was pretty much just taking backdrops (I counted 8) and doing Flairflops all match long.

Still, this match built and it wasn’t until Batista got pinned, about 15 or 20 minutes in, that the match started to cool a bit. To eliminate Batista, they had Edge spear him, Benoit him the Headbutt off the top, and Jericho land the Lionsault. Nice touch. Jericho had Flair in the Walls, but Orton came out and gave him the RKO to set him up for Flair to pin. They wrestled a bit more and then Orton and Edge worked together almost seamlessly. The crowd was obviously exhausted at this point. Orton gave Edge a low blow and the RKO for the pin. Benoit almost immediately caught Flair in the Crossface and got him to tap. Orton and Benoit worked together for a while, until Benoit got the pin.

It started brilliantly, they had a really smart angle in the middle, and it ended brilliantly. Only the Lita thing bugged me a lot, and the Kane stuff was non-spectacular, but still, this was a solid edition of RAW.

NEWS
There hasn’t been much good news to report on the subject of wrestling’s future. The Observer did an article on the problems that face the WWE long-run, and they are pretty steep. The big trouble seems to be in recruiting and training, since they don’t really have a farm system to the degree that they did in the late 1990s which brought us Brock, Angle, Edge, Christian, The Hardys and so many more. It’s a good article and a scary look at the future.

Saw a little bit of Impact on Friday night. The six-sided ring is interesting, but it can lead to some odd spots. The Team Canada vs. Team AAA was OK, but without Teddy Hart, Team Canada doesn’t feel nearly as impressive. Seriously, for as much trouble as that guy causes, he’s over-the-top exciting. I also saw Sonny Siaki taking on Monty Brown. Siaki is the next Rock, if they just give him a good gimmick and push him to the stars. He’s got a great look and he can be pretty good in the ring. Why they had him job to a lesser talent like Monty Brown, who used to play football, is way over my head.

Chavo Classic is missing…well, sort of. He no-showed Sunday’s SmackDown! show and then Monday’s too. No one has heard from him and there’s a lot of concern about where he is. If he’s just off on a bender, he’ll certainly lose his job, but there are some serious concerns right now about where he might be. His stuff on SmackDown! has been real good, so I hope he comes back.

Bad Blood
OK, Bad Blood was the first pay-per-view I’ve seen in ages that felt like they had given up once they realized that the crowd wasn’t going to be giving them anything to work with. Only the main event seemed special, and the crowd hardly reacted to it at all. With a great crowd, that match would have been considered the best cage match of all time.

La Resistance took on Benoit and Edge in a match that ended with Benoit and Edge winning by DQ. It wasn’t a great match, but the crowd was not reacting. Kane interfered and they did a spot where it looked like Edge was going to Benoit, but he held up and there was no turn. Pretty much everyone knows that the next RAW PPV Main Event is Edge vs. Benoit, so they either have to do the turn or come up with a way to get Edge his shot in a facely manner.

Chris Jericho dragged a decent match out of Tyson Tomko. Tomko collided with Trish, allowing Jericho to hit the Enzugiri (the head kick) for the pin. They didn’t put Tyson over enough with a post-match. They have something in him, and using him in a Diesel sort of way might get him some attention. I like his look, but I think they really need to make him into a killer bodyguard to make it work.

Bad Blood was brought to you by the letter "M..."

The crowd reaction killed what could have been a really solid match. Randy Orton got a good opening push with a long promo that didn’t say much, but made him look really important. Shelton Benjamin came out and they had a good match, but there was no support either way, so they didn’t get a great match going. Shelton looked better than he has in a while, likely since his matches with HHH. They started real fast, with Shelton attacking early. After Benjamin missed a Stinger Splash, Orton took over and gave us some great offense. My fave was a sort of a gut-wrench into a diamond cutter. That was sweet, but it could easily have been someone’s new finisher, so why waste it? They do a part where Shelton has Flair in the figure four and still manages to small package Orton for two. Shelton goes for the Flying Bodypress off the top, but Orton rolls through and grabs the tights to get the win. Seriously, they need to give Shelton a real push and soon. Orton looked real good, though.

Four-Way for the Woman’s belt wasn’t great, but it would do. They worked a bunch of moves, since they had four girls out there, and even Tyson Tomko got to play by tossing Lita into the ring. Lita looked to have it won when she hit a big DDT, but Trish schoolgirled her and got the pin to become the new champion. I admit it, that was a rather big surprise to me.

Eugene got the biggest reaction of the night for his comedy match with Coach. They did a bunch of spots with hot chicks, but mostly it was just crap. That’s not to say that Eugene didn’t entertain, as he is so good in his character, but writing a match for him on a big show is tough. The Coach was awful, but Eugene used the Rock Bottom and the Special People’s Elbow to get the win.

The World Title Match between Benoit and Kane was a match that just kept building and building. Benoit is a strange phenomena. He knows how to build a title match better than anyone working on top today. He’s got a Japanese sensibility and a style that’s almost too pure for his role. If he had Austin’s charisma and Lesnar’s stature, he’d be an all-time legendary champion. As it stands, he’s still the best champ there’s been in years. The match went back and forth and moved at Kane’s pace, which isn’t usually a good thing. Benoit works a lot of submissions and Kane attacks Benoit’s neck. They are smart in using real injuries into matches, but aren’t they worried that the attention they pay to those repaired areas will compound and re-aggravate them? Benoit does his suplexes and Kane sits up out of them. Nice! Kane powers out of a crossface attempt, and then Benoit runs into a Chokeslam and kicks out! Kane was great in selling his frustration that he couldn’t finish him off. Benoit finally locked in the Crossface, but Kane stood up! Benoit kept it on while he was standing and then maneuvered into roll-up for the win! Great ending! Great build! Great champion!

Then, as if they had been reading my mind, they do some replays and have Benoit discussing his strategies and such. They don’t do this nearly enough and it really helps get a match over as an athletic contest. They did it brilliantly with Bockwinkle and Hennig back in 1986, and it really works here. I know they only did it to give them time to set up Hell in the Cell, but still I loved it!

Blood on the table...

My Main Event prediction was for blood. I wasn’t wrong.

This was a great match that was hurt by the crowd response. They did come into it for a few near-falls and spots, but otherwise, it was as dead as a 1996 RAW taping. They worked back and forth, trading punches and brawling early on. Michaels went for a suplex, but had to let go and held his back. This started one of the greatest sell-jobs I’ve ever seen. HHH works the back over with everything he had, including backbreakers and a sidewalk slam onto a chair. Solid! Michaels is busted open by a chairshot and it’s a fairly good gusher. HHH was bleeding too. Michaels works HHH’s face into the mesh and grinds. They work a ton of violence and the selling is amazing for Michaels’ back. They use a ladder and do a few spots with it, and by this point, I’m going ‘they can’t do much more of this’. But they do! They work some more, including Michaels giving HHH an elbow drop through a table. They traded dozens of near-falls and after HHH hits a final Pedigree, he slowly covers Shawn for the pin.

This was a five star match. At more than 45 minutes, it’s easily the best long match that the WWE has done in ages. They told a story; there was great selling. The intensity was there. But the crowd was not. If you watched this with the sound off, it would be an amazing match. I‘d say this could easily be Match of the Year, but some will see the lack of heat as a killer for the match.

There are few matches that come close to this level. The first Hell in the Cell. The Bret vs. Austin WrestleMania match where they did the double turn. The Ramon vs. Michaels ladder matches. Those are all-time classics and this is right up there with them. Great stuff.

The show itself was weak. I’d say it ended brilliantly, but all in all, it’s just another PPV that will only be remembered for the final two matches.

That’s all for today. On Friday, a look at what happens when you try to cash in on the Aussie craze!

Chris Garcia