Falls Count Anywhere

06-11-04

Georgia on my mind... and in my wallet.

SmackDown!
The show was pretty much built around Paul Heyman’s ultimatum to the Undertaker, as that’s what they opened with and closed with. It’s not the storyline I want to be watching, but it’s being done better than when they used to do the same thing every few months in the early 1990s.

Kurt started off the Arena action in the ring and called out Booker and John Cena to apologize for knocking him around last week. Booker made an apology that I enjoyed, but Cena refused. Angle informed Cena that he is on probation and that if he lays a finger on him, he’ll be stripped of the title and suspended. Cena did some sweet mic work before Angle announced that Cena must go through a series of matches later in the show against Booker T., Rob Van Dam and Rene Dupree.

Kenzo Suzuki came out to take on Scotty 2 Hotty. Alright, I admit it, I love when they bring Japanese wrestlers to the US (Hakushi, for example) but Suzuki isn’t very good. They should have tried to work a deal with Pro Wrestling NOAH to bring Marafuchi and KENTA to the US. Those two against Rey and RVD would be awesome. The match pretty much sucked, though the legsweep finish was kinda cool.

They did a smart little bit where they have the guys facing Cena draw straws to see who would go in what position. I love little things like that, as it adds an air of legitimacy.

They showed a video of John Bradshaw Layfield at a Salon. This is kinda weird, but I guess it does speak to his current character. He is obviously in hot water over the whole Germany thing. JBL then came out in his Longhorn Limo and once he got out, he claimed that he looks too good and will be headin’ off to New York City. He told the driver to move, but the driver didn't respond. Then it's revealed that the driver was Eddie Guerrero, who then informed Layfield that they’re goin’ for a ride. Hilariously, Eddie checked for hydralics, but found none.

Chavo Jr took on Rey Mysterio. Chavo Classic was out with his ladies to do commentary. The two of them had a solid match that shows that there is still life in the Cruiserweight division if they’d just give it a chance. It’s cool to see Chavito use power moves like the Side Slam when he faces Rey. Rey looked good and hit most of his spots. Rey got the win when Chavo Classic’s interference backfired. I think we’re about to see a father-son match.

Beaten by the Axis, the Axle, and the tire iron...

Eddie brings the Limo back, all beaten to hell. Then Layfield stumbled out in just as bad shape as the car. Eddie talked about how he’s going to bust-up Layfield at the Great American Bash. Fun little segment.

They showed some tour footage from Italy and Germany. They do not give us any glimpse of Bradshaw at all. Hmmmmmm…

Cena met his challengers in 3 five minute matches. Booker opened and they worked a smart little piece of business leading to a draw. Booker did an Eddie Gilbert Memorial Hot Shot and a Savate Kick for near falls. Solid stuff that made you wonder if Cena would make it. They went to commercial then brought out RVD.

The RVD match was also smartly planned. They did a great spot where RVD went for a jumping kick but Cena clotheslined the Hell out of him in the air. Wicked shot. We got to see the Split-Legged Moonsault, and RVD hit the Five-Star Frog Splash, but the time had expired on his challenge. It really made things look dire for Cena.

The Dupree portion of the challenge started off fast with the two trading blows and moves throughout the opening moments. Cena hit a nice spinebuster for some near falls. Dupree was going for a powerbomb when time expired. Rene asked for five more minutes, which led to a nice segment where Rene hit a nice powerslam and his French Tickler. It didn’t get the job done and Cena managed to hit the FU for the pin.

Angle then spoke up, declaring that the finish is null and void, so Cena will have to defend against all three of them at The Great American Bash in a Fatal Fourway. Booker then jumped Cena, and RVD then jumped Booker. RVD did the international sign for ‘I want the belt’ which Cena then denied before getting wailed on with a solid kick. Very well done series.

Paul came out for some awesome talking. I can’t oversell the power that Paul has over a microphone. Paul was carrying a shoulder bag and as Undertaker came down, he produced the Urn that caused so much trouble when guys like Kamala and Kama stole it out from under him. They did a staredown, hilarious considering the respective heights of the gentlemen involved. Eventually, Undertaker took a knee and worshiped the urn.

And we’re out.

Worshiping the urn, and boosting morale.

The Undertaker thing is a throw-back, but it might just work. No question that this was a much better episode than they’ve been doing of late. I really like Cena, and Eddie was smartly played. Let’s hope the PPV is good.

Matt Hardy might be looking at knee surgery. He hyperextended it and it’s been getting worse. I hope he can stick around and get some of the heat he had back.

NEWS
Lots of outlets picked up the Layfield story. Bradshaw is saying that he was ‘hung out to dry’ by CNBC since they knew he was a heel. It was highly effective heeling, that’s true, but also the type that gets companies banned from arenas.

The Undertaker, possibly feeling that he’s coming to the end of his career, has been providing a sense of leadership to the SmackDown! locker room. Good thing too, as morale has been severely low for months.

RAW this week was up to a 3.4. Last Week’s SmackDown! was #67 of all prime-time shows with a 3.3.

They canned Victoria’s dance routine for lack of interest. No surprise.

Patron Saint of Falls Count Anywhere, Dr. Tom Pritchard, all praise be unto he, put up a column talking about the alleged abuse of recently released developmental talent Bobbi Billard. The exceptional freakin’ hot Billard said that Ivory and Jacqueline beat the tar out of her for supposedly faking an injury. There are all sorts of accusations flying around, but most folks seem to believe that Bobbi just couldn’t hack the physical demands.

A Look At Bad Blood
I think they’ve done a fairly good job setting up Bad Blood, mostly due to putting on a series of logical matches and angles over the last few weeks. The HHH vs. Shawn Michaels match has been positioned so strongly that you can’t help but feel that it’s going to be incredible. I’m interested in seeing what happens at the PPV.

Predicting a good PPV.

Eugene vs. Johnathon Coachman will be an easy call. Eugene wins with some funky offense. I think the crowd will go nuts for Eugene and whatever character he decides to play for the night. This could make a great opener to bring the crowd into the show.

The World Tag Team Titles are on the line between Chris Benoit and Edge and La Resistance. The word on the street is that Edge and Benoit are meeting for the Title at the next RAW PPV. They will probably do a solid match, one messes with the other and they lose the challenge, then brawl. This could actually extend into Benoit’s match later in the night.

Tyson Tomko is taking on Chris Jericho in a match that should have been Christian vs. Jericho. Christian is still hurt, but he’ll likely be back in attendance and play a non-bump taking role. Jericho wins this, but Tyson is put over as a monster with a post-match beat-down.

Fatal Four-way for the Woman’s belt. I’m torn. Normally I would say that it’s all Lita, as she has been built up and it’s obvious that WWE brass considers this whole Kane thing as being a big step forward, giving her enough pull to deserve the title. Still, I think Victoria or Gail Kim is the right choice for the belt. This could be very good, or it could be a total pooch screw. My money is on Lita.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton is a battle for the future of RAW. Randy is going to work his legend killer bit, but it’s already gone stale a tad. Benjamin is just going to go out and bring a strong, stiff, fast match to Orton. There is no way that they’ll be pulling the belt off Orton now, so they better make Shelton look really good in losing this one.

Kane vs. Chris Benoit is an interesting proposition. My guess is that they’ll keep the belt on Benoit to set up for the title challenge of Edge. Edge could cost Benoit the belt, which would add heat to their match without the belt. Kane wouldn’t be a terrible choice for the belt right now, but they need to make a strong champion choice and stick with it. To me, that means Benoit wins here.

The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, takes on HHH in a match that will probably be as good as it is bloody. I doubt we’ll see any intentional blood on the undercard, but I am saying both guys will hit gushers here. There is no question that these two are the ones you want in a big show match with a strong gimmick. I don’t know who should go over. HHH is leaving to make a movie. HBK has been wanting time off since he’s about to have another kid with the amazingly hot Whysper. I’ll say HHH, just ‘cause.

Should be a good show.

That’s all for today. More next week.

Chris Garcia