Falls Count Anywhere

06-06-06

I carry the Mark of the Beef.

SmackDown!
I got to see it this week and I was rather happy that I did. It seems whenever I manage to be able to watch SmackDown! when it’s actually on-air I get to see the good shows.

They introduced The Miz as the new host of SmackDown! Nice way to get him worked into storylines. They went right into Kurt’s SD! farewell match against Rey Mysterio.

And it was gorgeous.

Those two have had some really wonderful matches over the years, and this was one of the better ones until the ending. Kurt worked a stiffer style than usual, which was a sign of ECW-things to come. Paul Heyman was out doing announcing and when he started, he gave Taz a hug.

That's some strange bling, Kurt.

Lots of great stuff from both guys, including a sick German Suplex. I’ve seen Kurt throw some wonderful suplexes, but that one looked like he just destroyed Rey. Heyman announced Rey vs. Sabu for the World Title. That’s right, Rey Mysterio, the greatest Featherweight wrestler of all-time, against Sabu, the man who changed the world with his hardcore shenanigans. Kurt did a Belly-to-belly over the top rope to the outside on Rey and he didn’t manage to beat the count. Really good match.

They announced that Batista returns July 7th. They better not bring him onto TV before then.

Lashley did an interview about winning the US Title. That was followed by Matt Hardy beating Nunzio in a pretty much nothing match that somehow ended with Vito coming out in a dress. I’m fairly certain this was a reference to the guy they whacked a few days earlier on The Sopranos, but I could be wrong.

The Miz introed a fellow named Rowdy Roddy Piper who did a little segment called Piper’s Pit. They brought out Khali and Daivari and Piper cracked a few jokes at him. Piper was really good, and he said that he didn’t believe the hype surrounding Khali. Khali was going to attack, but Daivari called him off until Piper attacked Daivari and Khali headbutted him and gave him the chop. Not a bad way segment, but I still fear where they’re going with Khali. I’d love to see him used like the former members of The Oddities.

So far, it's working for us.

They brought out Ashley as the newest SmackDown! Diva. Jillian Hall (who looked really hot) had a match with Kristal. The match wasn’t much, but Jillian was better than I expected. They had Michelle McCool come out looking all fine dressed as the teacher from that old Van Halen video. She’s now an evil School Teacher, which is a gimmick that worked so well for Shane Douglas.

Mark Henry destroyed Paul Burchill. This was a squash, but the segment worked because at the end of it, they announced that Mr. Kennedy was returning next week! He’ll make everything better.

Finlay won a squash where there was a leprechaun running around the ring. I didn’t quite get what was going on. I might have been reading Dhalgren at the time. Samuel R. Delaney (who has read Falls once or twice) always twists my head around.

They aired a great promo for Sabu, using all sorts of 1960s image manipulations, including the dark halo you’ll see in all the old kinescopes. It made him look awesome and I’m excited for the match with Rey. They followed this with Taz cutting a promo on Jerry Lawler that showed why Taz should still be wrestling. It was as intense a promo as you’ll ever see. It was great, done entirely in tight close-up, meaning that Carl Theodor Dreyer must be directing for the WWE now.

They had William Regal come out and announce Booker T by yelling ‘All Hail King Booker!’ over and over. The entrance they gave him was way long, but Lashley came out to a good pop. I’m excited about where they’re going with Lashley, and he seems to have a good head on his shoulders.

I missed a fair portion of the match, but I saw the finish where Booker went for the Jumping Side Kick and ended up being caught and having it turned into a PowerSlam for a Lashley win. William Regal then attacked Lashley, leading to a series between them, which is just another way of getting Lashley more time with guys who can really go.

Really good episode.

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Chris Garcia