Falls Count Anywhere

05-10-07

I'm Freyed.

NEWS
Sadly, Mr. Kennedy suffered a torn triceps on his right side and will be out for a long time, probably six months. This caused instant panic and the writing team had to address it instantly. Sadly, it also meant that Mr. Kennedy’s push ended and he’ll be in for surgery in the next couple of days. Every time his push starts to get real, he gets hurt. The headlining WrestleMania gimmick was a real good one, and he might just win the Rumble to make it happen, if they can get him over big again.

Sonny Myers passed away this week. He wasn’t a big name after the 1970s, but he was a huge deal in the 1940s, 50s and 60s in Kansas City and the rest of Missouri. He was the biggest star in that part of the country until Harley Race came along and took over. Sonny was 83. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a tape of him wrestling, but I think at least some 8mm transfers exist.

RAW
OK, RAW wasn’t a great show, and they made a poor choice to cover up two different bad situations, though the end result wasn’t half-bad for a lot of folks who like Edge. I’m saddened to realize that this officially ended the hot streak that the WWE had been on since February.

Vince started off in the ring and was about to make The Great Khali vs. John Cena when Shawn Michaels came out and said that he should have a chance. Vince then made Shawn vs. Khali. If anyone can get a match out of Khali, it’s Shawn Michaels. Lashley comes out and complains some. I really don’t like Vince as ECW Champ.

Hard to tell where they begin and end.

Mickie James and Candice beat Melina and Victoria. The match wasn’t great, though Mickie and Melina proved that it’s still possible for the Divas to have a decent match. This time they didn’t, but it could still happen! Candice won with a Leg Lariat of all things. She is getting better.

Chris Masters was the first challenger to Santino Morella’s Intercontinental Championship. This wasn’t a really good match, but Morella’s not bad. They worked a pretty basic match and the crowd barely responded to either guy. A quick reverse jackknife pin gives the win to Morella.

Randy Orton gave a confident interview with Maria. Sadly, he obviously has had his confidence shaken with the recent events so he’s trying to work and talk above himself to stay around.

I kinda see Orton the same way that folks saw Dr. Jerry Graham back in the 1960s and 70s. He’s a star who is gonna mess up, but McMahon is always gonna give him another chance because he’s so damn talented. There’s no question that the kid has talent, and if they let him go I’d expect TNA to snap him up and ruin him ASAP.

They talked about The Condemned. Folks are saying it’s gonna kill the WWE Film division, which was probably a bad idea from the start, though the first two made a little bit of money on DVD.

The real answer is simple: Stone Cold Steve Austin means almost nothing outside of wrestling. Kane doesn’t either, but it was a horror movie when America has been in a horror-friendly mood. John Cena’s a bigger deal outside of wrestling because of his regular appearances on VH-1 and the talk show circuit. His movie was far worse than either of the other two, yet it made more money because of Cena’s name. I never thought I’d say that Cena could outdraw Austin, but there you have it.

The Highlanders got beat by Umaga. It was a squash.

The Great Khali beat Shawn Michaels. OK, I’ll say it again. The Great Khali, talentless hack wrestler that he is, beat Shawn Michaels, the greatest wrestler of the 1990s and one of the biggest talents to ever wrestle in the WWF/E. This was probably as good a match as we will ever see out of Khali. It was No DQ, so Shawn used a chair, choked him over the ropes and tried to DDT him by standing on a chair. Khali threw him off in a nice looking spot, all Michaels, of course. Khali gave Michaels the Two-handed Choke Slam through a table and the ref stopped it after that. It didn’t suck, but if it had been anyone other than Shawn, it would have truly sucked hard.

The Hardys beat The World’s Greatest Tag Team in very quick order. Haas works over Matt’s arm in a nice piece of work. Haas is a real talent and should be getting a bigger push with Shelton. He did a Northern Lights Suplex with Matt’s arm behind his back in a nice spot. Matt managed to make a comeback, did all the Hardy stuff and Jeff hit the Swanton for the win. It’s sad to see what they’re doing to TWGTT.

Carlito did a promo where he said he was changing his life. He then said that he was dumping Torrie. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! They we’re supposed to be our generation’s Hume and Jessica! It’s a shame! A cryin’ shame! The crowd actually responded to it and I’m thinking that Carlito might get over again as a heel.

An action film duo waiting to happen...

Edge took care of the Kennedy injury situation by destroying him to win the Money in the Bank briefcase. He attacked Kennedy before the bell, just beating him to a pulp. He hit him with a monitor! He beat him down and then put him in the ring. The ref was about to rule the match a no contest or some such, but Kennedy said that it had to go on. They were trying to make him a face, and it could have worked, but not quite like this.

Edge speared Kennedy to win, took the briefcase and wailed on Kennedy a little too. A kinda burial of Kennedy, but it does give him an instant program when he gets back and it helped in the Undertaker situation (but that will have to wait for the SmackDown! report on Monday)

Cena and Randy Orton had their match. It was OK, with Cena busting out the Fisherman’s Suplex and Orton bumping good as usual. It came down to Khali coming out and grabbing the belt so that Cena would come after him, leading to Khali hitting Cena with the belt for the No Contest. That was a weak ending.

The show wasn’t terrible, but the Kennedy thing coupled with the Khali stuff just made it hard to swallow. I hope these last few weeks are the last we’ll see of Khali.

That’s all for this week. More on Monday!

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Chris Garcia