Falls Count Anywhere

05-04-04

Being held hostage in the basement by myself.

RAW
Evolution (minus Flair) took on Tajiri, Shelton Benjamin and Edge. They did a segment where everyone did a little work, including some wicked fast arm drags from Tajiri on Randy Orton. Edge and HHH are perfectly matched and when they were working together, you could see that this is going to be a great feud. When it finally happens.

On a side note, Batista's legs look really leathery. It's kinda gross.

Batista hit a sweet powerslam on Edge. HHH and Edge got some really good heat on their exchange. This match rocked from early on and they got really strong crowd reactions. It's the way you should be starting out every TV show. Tajiri got the hot tag into the match and hit HHH with his Handspring Elbow off the ropes, then hit a sweet DDT on HHH. Trying for another Handspring Elbow, Tajiri got a stiff shot to the back from Batista.

After the break, Tajiri got a chance to play Face in Peril, and did so admirably. He worked really well with Randy Orton, including giving him a huge kick to the back of the head that Orton sold brilliantly. Shelton didn't get much of a chance to work, but Tajiri was all over this match. Batista went for a powerbomb, but Tajiri sprayed the mist into his eyes to escape and distracted Orton enough to get Edge the chance to hit him with the Spear. Great stuff to open the show.

Coach and Cade were making jokes about the ladies of Phoenix when Vince McMahon came out talking about being there for the weather, the women and the World Heavyweight Title match. He really sold Benoit as the real deal, which is a a big deal, and got over that the match was a HUGE deal. This was a real nice touch.

They did what seemed to be a longer SmackDown! ReBound than usual to get over the show, which is helpful. They then talked about the attack on the Guerrero family by Layfield at the El Paso house show.

Bischoff was backstage listening to all the complaints of Evolution. He eventually gave HHH a match with Shelton next week, made a Batista-Tajir match, and then an Intercontinental Title Match between Orton and Edge. It should be a good show next week.

They re-showed the Eugene stuff from last week, highlighted by Regal's amazingly comic sell of being freaked out. Bravo, Regal. Bravo.

I'm thinking more The Vulture...

La Resistance came out for the match between Hurricane and Conway. For the first time in ages, Hurricane got a big pop coming out to the ring. Hurricane's new ring outfit is a little too Hawkman for my taste. The two did some standing switches and good fast trading of moves. They worked fast, which is always nice, and Conway hit a gorgeous neckbreaker. This was an insane crowd, as everything seemed to get heat the whole way.

Conway used the Eddie Gilbert Memorial Hot Shot on Hurricane and then pinned Hurricane a few seconds later with that Slingshot twisting suplex thing that I love. The victor then grabbed the mic and did some good ole Southern Heel promo work, which I respect the hell out of, as it's becoming a lost art. Not a bad match, but too short.

They reviewed the Kane / Hardy and Lita stuff before the Kane vs. Steven Richards squash. It was a nothing nmatch, but that's how you build a monster. Kane then sprinted to the back.

Chris Jericho came out for the Highlight Reel. He put over the Title match and then said that he hadn't been given a title shot and that he was challenging the winner of the match. He then called out his guest, Matt Hardy. Matt said that he wanted Lita to come out, but she then came on the screen, saying that she never loved Matt and that he needed to stay away. It was obvious that she was being held hostage in the basement by Kane, and she eventually broke and said that she was being held hostage in the basement by Kane. She was doing good when she was trying to tell Matt to stay away, but when it came time to get panicked, Lita blew it. Matt ran out to save her, and the crowd popped for him making the save.

Just as Jericho was about to end the Highlight Reel, Christian, Trish and Tyson Tomko came out to confront him for what he did last week. Christian sent Tomko into the ring, and Jericho handled him until Christian came in, allowing Tomko to hit the Big Boot: The official move of untalented big guys. Christian beat on Jericho for a while and that got BIG hell heat. Trish finished the event with a kick to the crotch. Bigger heat on her. That reminds me, see Mean Girls. You'll be glad you did. Christian brought back Jericho's old flexing one foot pin to humiliate him. Nice touch.

They announced that Edge and Chris Benoit would be taking on La Resistance at next week's RAW, where I should be LIVE!!! It's shaping up to be a good show.

They came back and showed Matt searching for Lita. Matt found her, saying that she was OK, and playing super protective boyfriend type to a tee. However, Lita wasn't quite as good.

Hmmm...I'm thinking Thundra...

Gail Kim came out for a match with Victoria. She took a microphone and said she really hoped that no one was feeling sorry for Lita since she deserved it. That got some nice heel heat right until Victoria came out to a better reaction than she's had in ages. JR did a mention of Pat Tillman before the match got going, which was a nice touch. The two worked a weird match. Victoria tried a press slam, but couldn't pull it off. She then hit her standing backflip, which is very awesome, everytime. They are selling the future RAWs so well now. They kept talking about San Jose and what the matches were going to be. Gail Kim did the Knee drop with Victoria's face going into the mat.

The match slowed a bit, but the crowd stayed into it. This reminded me of the Albany RAWs from 1996 and 97, when the crowds were insanely hot. Kim kept using all sorts of kneeling submissions. Victoria used a Hot Shot and that turned the tide, until Kim hit that awesome armbar and headscissors. That is such a cool submission. Gail got the submission win, but not the title in the match. A clean win in a non-title match usually means that the face is about to get a run for the belt, but Gail is the heel, so what gives?

They showed a training session with Eugene. Then they had Patron Saint of Falls Count Anywhere, Dr. Tom Pritchard, talking with Regal. Eugene was bumping all over the ring, and almost spilled out of it over the ropes. Regal talked about torturing Eugene in their training like he would torture the jobbers he faced on WCW Saturday Night.

After the break, Regal took on Eugene in training. Eugene said that Ricky Steamboat used to do armdrags. Eugene then gave Regal a sweet armdrag. Then they had the 1980s training music kick in as Eugene took Regal from pillar to post. Dr. Tom got to do a Eugene chant and then when they tried some chain wrestling, Eugene worker Regal hard, getting him to tap to a Regal Stretch. At one point, Eugene used a HHH as a puppet to sneak up on Regal and then he hit a HHH mist job. Funny stuff. Yeah, DR. TOM!

Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels had a match that was perfectly chosen for Phoenix, since they had the hot crowd to work with and they put on a strong match. They went at each other hard and Michaels took some great bumps. Benoit is the next Bret Hart, as he is about the same age when Bret started to get his WWF championships. He is always working at a higher level, and Benoit is a better worker, though not as solid a talker. They did a bunch of escape and reversal sequences. Suddenly, cut to commercial.

Okay...THAT'S a little too Hawkman...

We come back to Michaels having Benoit in the abdominal stretch. They cut back to Benoit taking the Owen Hart front slam into the turnbuckles. HBK took Benoit over in a weird but painful looking snap suplex. They went into a sequence where Benoit kept hitting all sorts of fast pinning combinations. Michaels still ahs the best elbow off the top of any in the history of the business. HBK was setting up the Sweet Chin Music when Benoit turned it into the Triple German Suplexes and then gave him another before heading up to the top for a Flying Headbutt, which he ended up missing. The match was so damn good at this point, and the crowd was reactinig like a WrestleMania Main Event crowd. Benoit got suplexed from the inside of the ring to the ringside area. Michaels then hit a pretty moonsault off the top rope to the floor.

The crowd reacted brilliantly, like they would have back in 1995 if someone had done it. The ref did a count, and Benoit pulled Michaels back by his tights, showing us a little Heartbreak Ass. Benoit got thrown into the steps, which busted him open. Let's take another break at that point.

We come back and Benoit is in the sleeper. Shawn Michaels used a dropkick on Benoit, and it was sweet, but I started to wonder when the last time I saw him use a dropkick against an opponent who wasn't a huge monster. I really can't remember. Benoit brought back the bridging German Suplex for another near-fall. Michaels got the Liontamer on Benoit, but he managed to escape. The crowd seemed very much into HBK. Benoit got the crossface, which got a huge response. He dragged him back to the ring and set it in again, but Michaels got another break. Benoit tried a sharpshooter, but didn't get it. After Michaels hit the Sweet Chin Music following a ref bump, HHH ran in and gave HBK the Pedigree, allowing Benoit to get the pin. Not a great finish, but still, a classic match.

An episode that opened strong, didn't get anything terrible, and then hit a home run with the closing match. They are on a roll and this will just keep things rolling.

NEWS
The Observer says that the WWE doesn't know what they are going to do with Austin's movie, though the buzz around the office and around my LA friends is that John Cena is the front runner, like we said last week. Another couple of possibilities that have been talked about are Shawn Michaels and Eddie Guerrero. I find that a hard sell, but maybe.

Eddie is also apparently hurting more than he is letting on, but since he's getting his big run, he's working through it. He's done that before, so it's not much of a news story, but guys who have prior history of pain killer use should be more careful.

Speaking of Eddie, they did a house show angle with Layfield attacking the Guerrero family and Mama Guerrero supposedly having a heart attack. This is a big deal, as it shows that they are really trying to make house shows important.

By the way, both shows did the same ratings as they did the week before. The bleeding on SD! has stopped, but can they keep it up? If Brock doesn't get picked up by an NFL team, which doesn't seem as unlikely as it did when he first announced that he was going to try it, the WWE would be smart to lure him back, as you can map the effect his presence had on the ratings. There were a couple of similar periods where Brock was off TV and the ratings dropped, though not this severely.

Kensuke Sasaki, former WCW US Champ and big time Japanese star, was contacted about bring the bodyguard for Hirohito, who will be played by Kenzo Suzuki.

Lance Storm has announced that he has retired. I've always liked him, but they gave him such dreadful gimmicks that there was nowhere for him to go. Oddly, he started his career in Calgary and he ended his career with a match against Steven Richards in Calgary too.

FlashBack!
There are some things that happen in Shoot Fighting that could be prevented by carefully writing a smart storyline. One of those things happened on the 25th of April in the Saitama Super Arena during Pride's Total Elimination show.

Freeze, punk..

Mirko Cro Cop is a Mixed Martial Arts legends. He is known as the Pro Wrestler Hunter, the guy who takes out the pro wrestlers who get in the ring and try to shoot with the big boys. He's been defeated before, but he is always seen as the top guy in Pride. He is a huge star in his native Croatia, where he was a police officer for a long time. That actually explains his name, as he is actually Mirko Filipovich, but he is an actual CROatian Cop. His matches get huge ratings when they are shown in Croatia, and he's so popular that he was elected to the Croatian Diet. He's been knocking guys out and taking care of them on the ground for a couple of years now.

Kevin Randleman is better known for his gigantic thighs than for his fighting style. He was an NCAA champion around the same time that Kurt Angle was the man of amateur graps. HE was an UFC champion, though his record of 14-7 isn't great, but certainly doesn't put him in the upper echelon. As a pro wrestler, he was so athletic that he was good from the start, though I think he's had fewer than 10 matches. He did a leapfrog over Giant Silva, who is a legit 7'2. Crop Cop could do little wrong, and Randleman could never live up to the expectations. So Pride matchmakers put them together in the first round of the Pring Grand Prix tournament.

This was a mistake…at least if they wanted to keep Cro Cop, their top draw, on the shows.

Randleman took less than two minutes to KO Mirko with a series of punches after he nailed Cro Cop with an amazing left hook. I've seen a bunch of Mirko's matches, and he never looked anything less than unbeatable, even when he got beat. He had done a movie in March and had been performing his duties as a member of the Diet, so he wasn't at top form, and according to the Observer, some put him at 70%, though it's hard to tell how much of that is just his friends trying to cover for him. Randleman used a game plan developed by Mark Coleman, another MMA great who was sort of the opposite of Randleman, far exceeding people's expectations.

This isn't the first time that a shootfighting upset has thrown things into an uproar. In 1995, there was a famous match between Ken Shamrock, a guy who was a great fighter but far from the best in the world at the time, and Dan "The Beast" Severn, the NWA champ and the top UFC guy. The match was short, I think less than 5 minutes, and saw Shamrock catch a front choke and cinch it in something fierce to get the tap out. This was hotly debated as it was the first time that two world champions, Severn for the NWA, the historic link going back to guys like Gotch, Hackenschmidt and Strangler Lewis, and Shamrock, who was Japan's Pancrase champion. Severn getting the loss threw all sorts of things out the window, as many thought that it would kill wrestling tradition if Shamrock didn't get the NWA belt. It didn't happen, which is actually a bad thing, as Shamrock would have been a much better draw.

This certainly does affect the tourney, as they will either have to have Cro Cop fight attraction matches to stay on the shows, or they will have to make him an 'alternate,' filling in whenever someone gets hurt. K-1 did that when Ernesto Hoost lost to Bob Sapp twice in 2002 and still managed to come back both times as an alternate and win the tourney.

This is why shoots don't work, because you never know what's gonna happen.

That's all for today. Friday will feature more on the many great wrestling adventures.

Chris Garcia