Falls
Count Anywhere
04-26-05
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It's
a jolly 'oliday wif Michaels... |
Welcome
to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris. Ha-ha Ha! Cookies
on Dowels!
RAW
Well, RAW from England. That’s a good sign that you’re
gonna get really good heat, but not always a really good
show. With Japan, they had to do a strong show because there’s
so much wrestling in the country that they could lose audience
if they didn’t put on a stellar performance. England
has no such pressure. Still, there were ups to go along
with the downs.
Batista
came out to a great response and did an interview thing
with JR. They basically clowned on HHH and H came out, great
selling his anger. Batista was pretty funny, but he’s
not a talker. They need to make him into Goldberg where
he doesn’t have to talk much, just chew up people
and spit them out. Then again, when Goldberg started talking,
he turned out to be pretty good at it.
Viscera and Trish
Stratus had their date. I will say that this was one of
the worst bits they’ve done in ages. Trish could pull
it off, but Viz is no Mark Henry when it comes to playing
dumb situations for laughs.
Chris Jericho
beat Sylvan Grenier with the Walls of Jericho. This wasn’t
a bad match, as Grenier can go when he’s motivated
and Jericho is a guy who can motivate most wrestlers. After
Jericho won, La Resistance, who it seems have been away
for a while, jumped Jericho. This led Shelton Benjamin to
come out and save Jericho, only to give him a T-Bone. The
crowd did not like that one bit. Who’s the heel in
that feud?
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Looks
like somebody finally saw Blade: Trinity... |
Christian did
a couple of things with Evolution. Flair told Christian
to soften up Batista for HHH, but Christian said that this
was his night. He then did an in-ring interview where he
came out to a face pop and then did the standard insulting
of the hometown thing to get the heel reaction they wanted
for the main event. Kane came out and beat down Tomko, leading
Christian to run through the crowd and into HHH’s
dressing room to talk about how they could work together.
Chris Masters
did the MasterLock Challenge. He won. I wonder if this will
go on as long as the Angle Challenge?
In the
highlight of the night, Coach was interviewing Shawn Michaels.
They talked about how he and Hulk would work together and
Shawn brought out Hogan to a huge, ravenous crowd response.
It was mind-blowing. Hulk then told Coach to hit the bricks
and gave us the return of Mean Gene! Oh YEAH! Gene did his
interviewing and Hulk tore his shirt off, and Michaels tried,
couldn’t do it, and walked off. That was a great segment.
All
sorts of ladies were in the ring, including a Daily Star
girl who looked to be smuggling puppies under her tank top,
and they brought out William Regal to a big ole pop. This
was great and he talked about his book. Muhammad Hassan
and Daivari then arrived and challenged Regal and Tajiri
to a match, which Hassan and Daivari won when Tajiri got
pinned.
There
was a reason for that, since they need to build up that
Hassan and Daivari are legit challengers to Michaels and
Hogan. Still, it sucks to see Regal’s team job in
his own home land and even worse to see him get beaten up
after the match. They also should have had Hogan and Michaels
make the save and pose with Regal after, but you know how
that goes.
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I'd
say he's handling that rather calmly... |
Trish slapped
Viz and told him that once he takes care of Kane, they’ll
knock boots like cobbler’s elves. He wanted his taste
now, so Trish flashed him.
One of the weaker
matches of late was Val Venis vs. Edge. Edge basically took
the entire match and won with the Spear. He then put on
the Sharpshooter, since he is a Canadian, and an Implant
DDT. Benoit came oot and gave him the Germans.
Batista beat
Christian, as if it could have ended any other way. The
crowd seemed very into Christian in the match itself. I
though it was a weak match mostly due to Coach playing heel
ref. Batista had Christian pinned, but the Coach was busy
tying his shoes. It ended after a ref bump when Batista
hit the DemonBomb and used Coach’s limp hand to make
the count. Following that, HHH came in the ring and gave
Batista the Pedigree.
Not terribly
good, but I have seen far worse RAWs.
NEWS
Poor Chris Candido. The guy suffered a seriously broken
leg during his opener on the Lockdown PPV. He’s had
to get pins and screws put in. This is the worst injury
in the career of poor Candido, who was looked at as a guy
ready to be trusted with a big push again. Here’s
hoping he’s back sometime.
Trish
was off most of the shows in Europe due to a back injury.
I’m not sure if her vignettes with Viscera were shot
in the US or the UK. She’s actually been told to take
more time off as she has almost always worked pretty hurt.
She’s not Kurt Angle, but she has performed at far
less than 100% for a good long time.
There are rumors
of a Lita/Matt sex tape floating around. These rumors were
mentioned by Matt himself on Opie and Anthony. This could
be interesting, and some are going to be quick to blame
Matt for circulating it to get back at Lita.
Nothing new on
the Brock front. He did an interview not long ago that the
folks who did it are still talking about but haven’t
released on the net yet. I’m told that they are clearing
it to see if they can get sued for what’s on it.
SmackDown! did
about average, as did RAW. The RAW number has some folks
very unhappy since it was the one with Hogan and the JR
vs. HHH main event. The guy who will take the blame for
all of that is Batista, though really, I’d put it
on not saving Hogan for a time when he could be advertised.
TNA’s
Lockdown
Eight Cage matches. It sounds like a PPV concept that I
would have come up with when I used to do fantasy booking.
Then again, Dusty Rhodes never met a stipulation he didn’t
want to use over and over again. Still, this resulted in
some interesting stuff.
Apollo and Sonny
Siaki took on Chris Candido and Lance Hoyt in a match that
featured Candido getting his leg all broked-up. They started
off with a camera guy in the ring in protective gear, which
was kinda a nice touch. I was pretty excited because it
looked they were going to have a really good match, but
right quick Candido went down after a Siaki Leg Lariet.
Still, after Chris was taken out of the cage, they worked
and worked hard. Hoyt worked the rest of the match on his
own, and he did a good job for the five and a half or so
that he was out there. Siaki did a nice Release German that
Hoyt took beautifully. Hoyt eventually got himself pinned
following a Splash off the top. Good, but not great. Afterwards,
the Naturals came out and beat on Hoyt.
They did something
interesting with the Blindfold Match between Dustin Rhodes
and Bobby Rude of Team Canada. They made it a Two out of
three falls match where the third fall would be blind-folded.
90% of all Two-of-three falls matches go to that third fall,
so this was expected. The first fall was Rude rolling up
Rhodes in about one minute. The second fall was ten minutes
and not half-bad. Shattered Dreams and a BIG superplex.
Rude hit the Northern Lariet. It ended with Rhodes getting
the pin with the Bulldog off the top rope. Leading to fall
three.
One of the worst
matches of all time was the Jake Roberts Blindfold match
when he had been blinded and they put Rick Martel under
the blindfold. This one was too long, but it had it’s
moments. While the two of them were blindfolded, Rude was
getting verbal cues from Team Canada, which led him to punching
the turnbuckle. That was a funny bit. Rude’s manager
slides a chair in and Rude takes. D’Amore managed
to break into the cage and tried to hit Dustin with the
Canadian flag, but Rude wailed him with the chair. Ha-HA,
the Irony! The former Goldust got the chair and hit Rude
for the pin. Better than it could have been, but probably
too long still.
There was an
X-Division Xcape Match with Michael Shane, Shocker and Chris
Sabin and Sonjay Dutt. This was a spotfest and I liked it.
Sonjay Dutt deserves more of a push, and Shocker is a huge
star in Mexico. They have a nice little match with everyone
getting at least one big spot that I remember and will talk
about fondly. Shocker hit a TKO and Sonjay did a Twisting
450. Trinity hit a Moonsault off the top of the cage and
Sabin hit his Cradle Shock. It ended with Sabin and Shocker
with Shocker going over since he’s the next big pushed
Mexican wrestler. A lot of fun.
OK,
as a lot of stunts, Jeff Hardy vs. Raven worked. I wasn’t
too impressed with it overall and it would have been just
as good in two minute highlight form. Jeff missed a Swanton
off the top of the cage, which was an impressive visual.
Jeff crotched himself on the cage door. Jeff hit a leg drop
through four tables off the top of the cage for the win.
That, as far as I’m concerned, is all that matters.
In a match that
I thought was great, America’s Most Wanted beat Team
Canada’s Eric Young and Petey Williams. These teams
are just so perfectly matched that I doubt they could have
a bad match. This was a Strap Match in the cage, which I
know has been done before, I think by Bill Watts back in
the Oklahoma days. Just great action for the first ten minutes
or so and that led to a longish segment of big move after
big move. A Hart Attack to Eric Young! An awesome Superkick!
Then, in an old skool tribute to Dusty’s glorious
past, they had Petey get a handful of chalk, but it got
kicked into his face. He then gave the Canadian Destroyer,
the most incredible finisher in all of human history, to
his own partner, since he was blinded and couldn’t
tell. Good ending to a really good match.
I am a huge fan
of Fallen Angel Chris Daniels. Primetime Elix Skipper can
be exceptional. Their match for the X-Division title was
really good. Daniels should be in the WWE, as he’s
a great worker and has a better gimmick than any of their
cruiserweight guys. They worked a match that was all about
high impact, though with fewer Holy Crap! Moves than most
of the matches of the night. Daniels uses a Hammerlock Back
Suplex, which is a move that doesn’t get used enough
anymore. Elix did the Rope Walking legdrop for two, and
then a Flying Crossbody off the top of the cage for another
two. They do the WWE ending where one guy goes for his finisher
(In this case, Daniels’ Angel Wings), then the other
escapes and tries his finisher (Skipper’s Sudden Death)
and the first guy gets his hit and pins the other. Good
stuff.
There was the
match that was kinda like WarGames (and why hasn’t
the WWE brought that one back?) where Monty Brown, The Outlaw
and Jeff Jarrett took on Sean Waltman (fresh from his appearance
as obsessed ex-boyfriend on The Surreal Life), DDP and a
Mystery Guy. It was pretty obvious it was going to be Jesse,
I mean Bryan, James, but still we didn’t know whether
it would be a turn and a reformation of the New Age Outlaws
or if they would start a feud. They seemed to start the
feud. Despite all the weapons and the brawling and Monty
Brown going on a Pouce-tastic run, there really wasn’t
too much that I liked about this match. Maybe it’s
just Jeff Jarrett that’s bugging me. He needs to drop
the belt, but I doubt he’ll do it unless he’s
promised a longer run with it after he drops it for a bit.
This is how you
start a cage match: have whoever enters first do a running
dive through the cage door onto his opponent before he enters
the cage. That is how AJ Styles started his match with Abyss.
They had a physical match that had AJ bleeding pretty good…and
that was before they brought in the thumbtacks. The chain
was also used, including a big DDT onto the chain and a
Style Clash onto Abyss on the Thumbtacks!!!!! For the love
of everything good and decent, that was sick! AJ manages
to get a Sunset Flip Power Bomb onto Abyss onto the thumbtacks
for the win. I really thought this was a great match and
an even better spectacle.
Over-all, a good
show, though they need to do a PPV without any gimmick matches
next time to balance it out. And, considering the state
of the company’s finances and the fact that Dusty
is likely to head out, there may only be one or two more
PPVs.
That’s
all for this edition. Friday will feature more and more
of the good stuff.
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