to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I’ll echo
all praise of Harvey
Birdman, Attorney at Law.
They opened things up with JBL coming down to the announce
position wearing the old WWE championship belt. Then, just
a bit later, Kurt Angle joined the announcers. The match
they were there for: Big Show vs. Booker T.
match wasn’t good but the banter between Angle and
Bradshaw was solid. At one point, JBL claimed that he never
wrestled amateur because he went straight to the pros, like
LeBron James. Nice touch, too bad King James isn’t
a big enough star to get Cleveland into the playoffs. Kurt
and JBL both agree to attack and cause a Double DQ, which
they thought would eliminate both of the guys. Theodore
R. Long came out and said that was not the case and made
a Fatal Fourway for next week from Eng-a-land.
I love Carlito’s
Cabana. Carlito is a fantastic heel and in this role, he’s
even better. The crowd was into him, which isn’t surprising
as Puerto Rican wrestlers have always drawn well at MSG.
He eventually turned the crowd against him with an apple
spitting reference. He brought out Eddie Guerrero as his
guest. Carlito tried to push the troubles between Eddie
and Rey, and Eddie called out Rey to apologize. Rey and
Eddie hugged, but then we were treated to a shot of Melina
and her boys, plus the two guys that she manages, backstage
where they spraypainted Eddie’s low-rider. This is
the way to get MNM over, and I liked this segment, especially
with all of Carlito’s great facials.
Matt Morgan reappeared
in WWE rings and looked like a million bucks. He did a bit
where he had a nervous stutter. Why? Then there was a lot
of Orlando Jordan stuff with Jordan saying that once he
beats Cena, the Bashems should do their job for once and
soften up Cena for JBL. This was followed by Matt Morgan’s
in-ring which was another squash. The only thing of note
was his awesome Suplex into a Sidewalk Slam with I will
refer to as the Morgan Silver Dollar Slam until I hear a
better name for it.
Angle and JBL
took on Big Show and Booker T in a little tag match that
was solid, if unspectacular. Angle is starting to show that
he’s really damaged. It’s not that he can’t
still go (the Mania match proved that) but he’s obviously
hurting. Big Show got the win after the Chokeslam.
brought out the Brooklyn Brawler, saying he had made a friend.
He read him a poem and BB said that it sucked. He then removed
his long-time trademark Yankee shirt and revealed a Red
Sox jersey. Heidenreich then beat him up. I kinda liked
this angle, mostly for Steve Lombardi being beaten up back
in Madison Square Garden, where he belongs.
won the Tag Team Championships by beating Rey and Eddie
in a good match. They’ve really given MNM a great
entrance. With the red carpet, the photographers snapping
her picture and the splits thing, she’s bound to be
the next big female on SmackDown! and they’ve managed
to avoid her having to compete with Joy, Michelle McCool
and any of the other Divas by having her be an actual manager
and giving her a real role to play and a distinct personality.
The guys she’s with, Nitro and Mercury, are just big
juiced guys and they have some talent in the ring, but everything
you could say about the Smokin’ Gunns in 1995 you
can say about MN in 2005.
how it works, people?
this was a good match and the two of them have a lot of
ring sense. With Melina, they’re gonna be big stars.
They worked well and Eddie and Rey busted some nice double
team moves. It ended when Melina prevented Rey from hitting
the 619 and Eddie went outside to yell at her, but she started
kissing him and clung to him to keep him from stopping the
boys from dropping their finisher on Rey. Rey and Eddie
then argued and Rey pushed Eddie. Good segment and MNM is
on their way, though it really probably be Melina that takes
Cena beat Orlando
Jordan in a weak match. I don’t think it devalued
Jordan, because no one takes him seriously, but it was a
weak match that doesn’t show Cena as anything special.
They need to put him in big brawls to hide his weaknesses.
He did fend off the Bashems, which added a little to the
match, but really, it was pretty much nothing.
With no real
Cruiserweight action, this show was just north of good.
Matt Hardy had a long interview this week and didn’t
really break any new ground. There was a brutal commentary
on WrestlingObserver.com by Edge’s wife, Lisa Copeland,
that ripped him and exposed his steroid use. That’s
the most damning thing she could have done, as they are
already getting heat for the steroid issue as fallout from
the Baseball deal and there have been renewed calls for
independent testing in various athletic commissions. Yikes.
Matt has been thinking about TNA, and Ring of Honor is also
in contact with him.
No word on Earthquake’s
condition. He’s a tough guy and I hope he pulls through
for a little longer.
Look at the Draft
So, they’ve announced another draft lottery. Great.
They’ll get a decent rating and probably manage to
fix a couple of problems and create even more for themselves.
There are a couple of things they really need to do with
First off, do
one of two things with the World Title: either switch where
the two guys are or unify the title. I’d go for the
later, as that would elevate the title and perhaps even
bring it back as a draw. Neither one of them has done significant
time on the other side, so a switch would help. It would
also allow HHH’s friend Batista to hold onto his belt
while HHH won Cena’s.
First off, they
need to give Edge the ball. People will only take to this
‘I’m always getting screwed’ bit for so
long. A feud with Cena after he comes to RAW could work,
if they let him win the title, even for a few weeks so that
he could complain about being robbed of the belt afterwards.
Edge has a huge upside, and he may be a lost cause if they
don’t do something with him soon.
The biggest trouble
is what to do with a guy named Randy Orton. They’ve
turned him, and that’s a good thing, but he’s
still sorta stuck out there. A big, long-running feud, after
he comes back, with one of the vet faces would rule. Having
him jump to SmackDown! and then feud with the Undertaker
as a pick-up from their match at Mania might work, unless
they send Batista there since he’ll be over-shadowed.
Then again, if he stays on RAW, he’ll be over-shadowed
by Randy Orton. Then again, if they don’t do the championship
switch, he’ll have a better chance making it as a
heel on SmackDown! that on RAW. He should probably move,
if for no other reason than he can face Angle and get a
couple of great matches out of him.
moving should never happen. He’s been a part of SmackDown!
pretty much since the beginning and moving him might be
tempting because it gets him more matches with HHH and others
who he hasn’t faced, but SmackDown! loses its most
consistent star. The way they should look at it is who can
they bring to SmackDown! that will mean the most when they
are faced off with Angle.
That brings up
the need for SD! heels. There are the obvious candidates,
HHH and Orton and perhaps Edge, but they seem to be more
interested in keeping HHH on RAW. I’d like to see
Evolution move as a unit to SmackDown! and have those feuds
and such. I doubt it will happen because HHH sees RAW as
are the ones who should bounce around. The smart thing would
be to have the new Mexicans, Super Crazy and Psicosis, debut
on RAW and to bring over Kidman, London and others. Why?
Because it’s RAW and not SmackDown! that will be replayed
on Telemundo under the new deal. Having a major Cruiserweight
feud on RAW might be nice.
The tag team
sitch is much harder. They can’t move either of the
new teams because they’ll blur together. They need
to make RAW’s tag division beefier. The SmackDown!
tag side isn’t half-bad, but they need to keep teams
The one big thing
about the Draft is they don’t really need to do it
unless they plan on following through with real pushes.
If they do, that’ll be perfect, but I kinda doubt
all for this week! More next.
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