Falls Count Anywhere

04-20-04

I'm sitting on a thumbtack.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and if I were you, I wouldn't do that.

RAW
Tonight, RAW comes from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Chris Jericho comes out first to a great pop, followed by Trish and Christian for Jericho's match against Christian. These two have had great matches of late. Jericho was great and they traded a bunch of near-falls. Jericho did his middle rope springboard plancha onto the two of them. Christian works really well as a heel. Jericho did his Double-underhook suplex off the top, which I always like. Christian hit his Reverse DDT off the second rope. So much great stuff, though the crowd cooled the longer they went. Jericho had it won, but Trish held onto the ref. Some new giant guy came in and kicked Jericho in the face allowing Christian to get the win. I don't know who it is, but he looks like another Nathan Jones. It would have been better had he not fallen. Really Good Stuff! After the match, we are introduced to him as Tyson Tomko.

Benoit got a huge ovation coming out with the title belt. They couldn't have chosen a better result for Backlash. You need to have nights like this for your champion. If you can show a huge ovation like this, even if it's only a few times a year, it helps his pop and heat around the country.

For his part, Benoit seemed genuinely moved. He talked about the Dungeon, getting the huge heat from the Hart family rub. The crowd chanted Stu. He thanked Stu and all he had done for his career, and did the Tap, Tap, Kiss, Point. I was glad to see that. He claimed to be the only guy to ever make HHH tap out. I think Bret and Owen Hart did it. And I'm fairly certain HHH tapped to a few other guys in the old WWF days. The crowd was into him.

Then Shawn Michaels came out. HBK said that he always thought that Benoit was the real deal, but he thought Benoit had doubts. The crowd was really into Michaels as a heel. HBK doing heel was so great and his challenge to Benoit for a singles match was a great promo. Eric Bischoff came out, saying he loved that idea so much he would never let it happen in Calgary. He said they needed two weeks to promote the sucker. He asked Johnny Nitro where they were gonna be, and Johnny whipped out his Palm and told Bisch they would be in Phoenix. The crowd booed at the announcement, but it didn't kill the crowd.

Molly Holly took on Victoria in a Woman's Championship match. Victoria did the splits and let Molly leap over her. She then did a clothesline off the apron. She then shook it for all she was worth and then did her backflip splash. Molly didn't get much offense and when Victoria tried to toss her by her hair, the wig came off and Molly went nuts by choking Victoria for a DQ. Nice touch.

Kane did a ultraclose-up interview about how he has been weak. It sounds like they are trying to rebuild him as a heel. Perhaps so they can send him to SmackDown!? He must have been watching a lot of old Kevin Sullivan interviews. They cut back to Bisch and Johnny Nitro looking all freaked. They are talking about how they don't want to end up like Bischoff. Regal came in to talk to Bisch about the troubles with Eugene. Bischoff asks where Eugene is, but Regal says that they were playing Hide-and-Seek. Bischoff says that this is a job that is not optional and that he must take care of Eugene and keep him safe. If he doesn't find Eugene, Bisch would make a match between Regal and Kane. Regal gave that disgusted look.

Foley makes Orton a star.

Randy did a cocky heel interview talking about how he proved that he was as tough as they come and took care of Mick Foley. Everything he said was true, even as he thanked Mick Foley for making him the star he is. And he certainly should be thanking him. The crowd started chanted for Randy. Cult Hero Hell in the house. He's going to be huge now. This wasn't as good as his interview at Backlash, but it helps get him to that level.

Edge came out and said that he had been watching Randy while he was out. Edge got a better response than at Backlash. He got all intense daring Orton to spit in his face, and Randy said that Edge wasn't worth it. Edge laid it into Orton and Evolution came to save him. Edge ended up taking a Powerbomb from Batista. Benoit ran out and they beat on him and HHH gave him a Pedigree. Nice segment. They made Edge and Benoit against Flairtista.

Garrison Cade, with Coach as his…well, his coach, came out to take on Tajiri in revenge for the match at Backlash. The match wasn't bad, but the visual of Cade standing next to Tajiri made Cade look huge. Cade got the win.

In a segment that I thought was absolutely HI-LARIOUS, Eugene was in the ring with Lillian Garcia and the t-shirt gun. Eugene was doing all sorts of little things, like accidentally pointing the gun at Lillian, and folks were cheering for Eugene to send them a t-shirt. They should always have one of the wrestlers do the shirt gun thing as it gives them heat in the arena that might carry-over. Regal came in and of course, after talking to Eugene for a minute, took a shirt to the nards.

Yes, crotch-shot from the shirt gun.

Regal sold it in his own brilliantly over-reacting way and it was classic. I know this isn't what I'm supposed to love, but I did -- every second of it. The crowd chanted Eugene, which may signal him becoming a cult favorite, like the Oddities were back in the day.

Val Venis and Lita were supposed to be teaming to face Matt Hardy (who has 40 different action figures) and Gail Kim. Kane came out, Hardy gave him a wide berth and Kane went after Lita, apparently. Val threw some punches, but ended up taking a chokeslam. He then went after Lita, but Matt Hardy appears to have turned and made a bit of a save on Lita, until he took the beat down. JR said "Look at her, the poor little thing is shaking like a leaf." Which isn't the right thing to say about an active in-ring performer.

They did an ad for the new Hirohito guy, who I believe will be Kenzo. I almost thought I had wandered over to the History Channel, as they edited it together like one of those documentary things they're always showing on how we bombed the hell out of Japan.

Edge and Benoit won the RAW Tag Titles from Flairtista in a match that improved the longer it went. They started trading moves to start, and they were solid. Edge got a decent response, as did Benoit. Batista ca sure take a German Suplex. Flair is having troubles taking them, but he shouldn't be taking them at all with his neck and such. The crowd started chanting "We want Bret" which should tell the WWE to make it happen.

More starmaking.

After Benoit did some face in peril work, Edge made the hot tag and came in and cleaned house. Batista went for the DemonBomb, but Edge shifted his weight and landed on Batista. That spot was weird because it looked like a legit blown spot instead of an escape spot. HHH interfered a bit, but HBK came out and superkicked him which allowed Edge to hit the spear for the pin and the titles. Really good match.

This was another top-notch show. The Christian vs. Jericho and Tag Titles matches were both very good. SmackDown! could learn a thing or two. The only downsides: No Benjamin. They need to keep Shelton on the shows and winning to get him hot.

NEWS
Steve Austin and the WWE are officially done. They couldn't come up with an agreement. The smart money is on Austin sticking close with Goldberg and going over to Japan. The two of those guys have been talking about doing a match since they were both the biggest things in the World in 1998. There has been talk of trying to get a PPV with the two of them as the main event. We'll see if and when that happens.

Brock Lesnar was in a motorcycle accident this past weekend. Nothing serious, just lacerations and abrasions. He's still going to be doing the try-out for the NFL.

Backlash
A great PPV that had a little bit of excess that I could have gone without, but still, great stuff.

The opener with Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair had a lot going for it, but Flair was working his age and it just didn't get over Shelton's athleticism. There were some nice spots, but Flair was over-using the Flair Flop and totally wiped-out when trying to do the Flair Over The Turnbuckle toss. Still, Benjamin looked pretty good. Benjamin got the win and that was what had to happen.

Tajiri got saddled with Coach, and truth be told, Coach really did try. Tajiri held back a little, which is understandable, and the match moved pretty well. Coach took a sick baseball slide into the turnbuckle from Tajiri that they replayed a bunch. I'd say this was the best match that Coach has ever done. Still, not great, but it wasn't a waste of time completely. Garrison Cade came out and gave Tajiri the win, thereby making himself the Coach's first protégé.

Randy Orton did an AWESOME interview talking about the match with Foley. Here, Randy was all intensity, much better than the cocky heel mic work he usually does. Such a great interview. You could almost feel Mick Foley's influence come rushing out.

Cocky. For now.

Jericho took on Christian and Trish Stratus in a match that I really enjoyed. Trish looked great, as did ring announcer Lillian Garcia, and the match was very physical. Christian was solid the whole way through, selling perfectly and showing that he has amazing timing. Jericho was his usual self, though they did do a few too many save spots with Trish. Trish laid a couple of really nice kicks in on Jericho. Good stuff. Jericho got the win.

Lita and Victoria met in a match that wasn't very clean. They tried, but they were working ¾ speed and had a few missed spots. Victoria was way too perky Lita did some headscissors that weren't great. Victoria did her backflip splash and let us see her shake her rump like a rump shaker. Victoria got the win to keep the title. Gail Kim and Molly attacked the two of them after the match.

We got to see Randy Orton get elevated to the top of the Wrestling business with a great win over Mick Foley. This was every bit as good as Mick vs. HHH in 2000. They worked a gimmicky match with barbed wire bat, chairs, and 1997 trashcans. They brawled and wrestled a little. Orton worked hard, using his athleticism when Mick would fall into his uberbrawler mode. They traded all sorts of moves until the greatest moment I think I've ever seen: Randy Orton getting tossed into thumbtacks.

OH MY GOD.

The pain is transitory. Art is forever.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, and you could see where they were sticking in him. Man, it looked brutal and you could see the blood pouring out of the punctures. Brilliant. This is what HHH didn't do: take the huge sick bumps in his matches with Mick. Orton was the real hero of the match. Mick worked all his great spots and then took the RKO onto the Barbed Wire bat to give Orton the win. Great match.

They gave us a tag match between La Resistance and Rosey and Hurricane. Honestly, I didn't pay much attention. It didn't seem bad, but it just couldn't hold my attention after Foley vs. Orton. Hurricane hit a plancha that looked good.

Edge took on Kane in a match that actually sucked. Edge did not get the response he needed. They need to rework him.

The main event was amazing. Benoit, HHH, and Michaels will all be Hall of Famers, and this was one of the best matches that these guys have ever had. It started off great, with everyone working their asses off. They didn't do the blood that they did in the first match and used more chain wrestling and saves and quick switches. Michaels went for a plancha, but the guys ducked him and HBK went into the table. It was awesome, reminding me of the old days when those spots were really big deals. Benoit worked the crossface to perfection. HBK used the Sharpshooter as Earl Hebner came running to the ring, referencing the classic Survivor Series screwjob. Benoit got to the ropes. They worked more great false finishes to great heat and it ended with Benoit getting Michaels to tap. Great stuff.

A solid Pay-Per-View for RAW that will carry them for a few more weeks. Hopefully while they wait for their next PPV they don't stagnate.

That's all for now. Later, I'll be tackling what SmackDown! could do to get back to the top.

Chris Garcia