Falls Count Anywhere

04-06-04

You never forget your first time. I cried. A lot.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and Bonds hit his first home run of the year while I wasn't watching!

RAW
They opened the show reviewing Shelton's win over HHH. It was great as they treated it like a big deal. Then, HHH came out and buried Shelton, which was predictable, as he can't accept that he is not the focus of the promotion anymore. He said that Shelton just got lucky and that it wouldn't happen again in a million years. He then went on to talk about the Backlash main event, which got a bit of a weak "You Tapped Out" chant. Blathering on, HHH said that Benoit had no chance of beating him again.

Shelton Benjamin came out and did a bit of a promo, though he didn't get that much of a pop, until he got a fair amount of response for his promo talking about how he beat HHH last week. He did a Foley and challenged Trips to a rematch right there, in Houston, Texas. Hunter responded like Shelton was a joke, which was expected. Still, Shelton got enough of a response to being denied for his match with HHH that you could tell the fans want to see him take on The Game. Great line: "You could build an entire career on a win like that."

Yeah, Shelton could, if you would do business. Eventually, HHH gave in and let Shelton Benjamin, who he referred to as "Whatever the hell your name is" have his match. Shelton held his own in the segment, which speaks volumes for him as HHH has been on for the last couple of months.

They showed clips from the Monterey, Mexico this weekend. It was the first time the WWE had been to Mexico and they did big business.

Chris Benoit, now hailing from Atlanta, GA, came to the ring to take on Rob Conway of La Resistance. Why, WHY is Benoit being saddled with this instead of being given a real match? Well, I guess I did miss squashes a bit as a way to get guys more over. Johnny Nitro was appointed special guest referee. He did some mic work, saying that if Benoit laid a finger on Nitro that Bischoff would be forced to strip Benoit of the title. They used this really well, as Nitro tried to get in the way of Benoit's chops. He also refused to count the first of Benoit's near-falls. They did a very predictable ref bump where Benoit suplexed Conway into Nitro. La Resistance then did that awesome neckbreaker and sidewalk slam combo to get a near fall with a replacement ref. He kicked out and the replacement ref heard the submission of the Conway to the crowssface. Short and kinda pointless, but fun.

YEAH! William Regal returns. He has lost a lot of his size, but after proving that he had some of that classic timing left, he was offered the chance to manage Eugene Dinsmore. They've been using him at house shows over the last few weeks and with Regal to do his talking and to do fun angles, he has a shot.

Chris Jericho got a HUGE pop coming out. I haven't heard him get a pop that loud in a good while. He took on Matt Hardy, who has broken his nose three times, or so the graphic would have us believe. He also never over-orders at restaurants. What a guy. Christian came out to watch and brought his own comfy chair. The crowd was nuts for Jericho and Christian. They've done Jericho so well over the last couple of months. This is how you do a push. The match was solid, though the announcers were a bit distracted, which took something away from the match. Hardy worked really hard. Good stuff.

Mick Foley did a promo from a rocking chair with roses on his lap. Mick was talking about how you never forget your first. He was talking about his first flannel shirt. It got no response, but it was interesting as it reminded me of his days as ECW's best interview. It was a great promo, and I hope that he gets a chance to do more of these. He talked about what he did in Japan and how he watched his old matches from his old days and that he noticed the evil look in his eyes. It grew and got more and more intense, as Mick is so good at. Mick got a great pop for pulling the barbed wire baseball bat from a rose box. "I'm gonna tear you apart in a way usually reserved for special effects teams in Mel Gibson movies." Great stuff.

Randy Orton was shown reacting to the promo, which was awesome.

Too many uppity guys for HHH's tastes.

Flair got to do the official announcing for the match between Shelton and HHH. Batista was announced as official Time Keeper and Randy Orton was announced as the official Trainer. That gave them all reasons to interfere. They did a sweet bit where Orton brought out a chair and bucket like a cornerman in a boxing match.

Flair introed HHH who came out to a really long entrance, like when he would come out for a PPV main event. Shelton came out to an OK response. The two started out with HHH on offense. But Shelton worked to stimey HHH early. It wasn't heated early, but it was fast and smart.

Batista interfered early on, and since he was "Officially Involved" it was OK. Shelton got worked for a bit, and the start of his comeback got a decent reaction. Randy Orton tossed Shelton into the guardrail and he landed on his neck. It was awful to see, and it reminded me of some ECW moments (see FlashBack!). He really looked like he broke his neck. He managed to make it back into the ring by 10, and after a few moments Trips caught his foot, allowing Shelton to hit his DragonWhip. There was a nice "Randy's Gay" chant. Shelton gave HHH a slingshot into the ringpost, which hurt him enough to give Shelton a countout win. Not a great win, but it was something. All of Evolution came in to attack Shelton. HHH gave him the pedigree and then busted Benjamin open. It was a nice way to add heat between the two of them, but they could have given him a real win over HHH. Mick, Benoit and Shawn Michaels came out to make the save. Nowhere near the level of their match last week, but it did tell the story right.

Bischoff came out to say that he'll fire Mick and Benoit and Shawn Michaels for interfering. They then introduced the ladies for their match to determine the number one contender to the woman's title. The match featured Gail Kim, who looked really hot in her return, Trish Stratus, Molly Holly (w/ wig) Stacey Kiebler, Nidia, Lita and Jazz. Most of this match had taken place during the commercial. They showed the eliminations in review and Gail Kim did a faceplant onto the floor. Her implants were in peril.

When we came back, we only had Trish, Jazz and Lita left. Lita eliminated Jazz and she faced off with Trish. Trish has a good sense of ring psychology. They worked for a bit and they got a good reaction. Trish laid some wicked slaps into Lita's face. Lita did an AWESOME kip-up. Jericho came out and again got a good pop. Jericho tripped Trish, allowing Lita to dropkick Trish to the floor. Fun stuff, what we got to see, but they shouldn't do eliminations during the commercial break.

They did SmackDown! Rebound, going over last week's SD!. They keep doing this and they'll build greater across the board brand loyalty.

Regal was shown going for a walk to look for his new charge. He found Garrison Cade first, then he found Eugene, the dottering idiot character that will help get him over and help keep Regal on TV. Hopefully they give him a chance, as having Regal playing the better than thou type while working with the moron Eugene may be brilliant comedy.

The Coach came out to talk about the attack by Tajiri last week. Christian came across Trish backstage where he told Trish that she would be teaming with him against Jericho at Backlash. Tajiri then took on Christian. Tajiri did his sweet Hurancanrana and the match was solid, as these guys know each other pretty well from wrestling each other a few dozen times. Christian got the win and Coach came out to congratulate the winner, but didn't really do anything much.

They ran down the card for Backlash, which has taken shape nicely.

Regal came to talk to Bischoff about being handed Eugene. Bisch laid down the law, but when he heard that Regal had left Eugene on his own, he flipped. Eugene had ran off to be with JR and the King. He did some gags, included talking about the Bushwhackers and licking JR. Funny stuff. He got a fair reaction for his bit.

Kane took on Rhyno in a match that wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. Edge came out after and faced off with Kane. Edge had broken his hand, so he had to hit Kane with his left hand. I hope he gets healed before Backlash. They had a little brawl leading to Edge KOing him with a cast shot.

Mick and Shawn and Benoit went out to the ring and Bisch made Evolution vs. Benjamin, Benoit, Michaels and Foley for next week, which is a nice way to build more heat towards the PPV. Evolution beat the faces down and left the laying.

Good matches, an amazing Mick Foley interview and some nice storyline advancement made this another episode that did everything it needed to in the right way.

NEWS
WrestleMania XX is looking like it will end up as the all-time biggest money event in the history of wrestling. Though it is not a lock, it will likely happen. Previously, WrestleMania XVIII held the honor, which was headlined by Rock vs. Stone Cold. I would still say that WrestleMania XX was a better show.

The Rock's new film, Walking Tall, ended up making 15 million in its opening weekend, which I believe is a little short of expectations. The Rock coming back for WrestleMania was supposed to help his box office, and I am betting that it did. There is talk that The Rock just doesn't have enough star power to carry a film, and that may well be true. He could certainly add star power to films with a decent cast in place. The real test will be his film Be Cool, the sequel to Get Shorty. That will be the film that will really show what Rock's best role should be. (...and that role is himself. Read Be Cool. The Samoan body guard that wants to break into films though he possesses only the talent to arch his eyebrow is very, very obviously The Rock. -- Derek)

The WWE will be launching a Video-On-Demand option shortly, which will make use of the ever growing library. I'm interested, as this should be a solid revenue stream and I can finally see a bunch of matches I haven't been able to buy on tape.

Mick Foley did a match at a house show this weekend, which was not announced. They should do these things every now and again.

Bye, bye Teri...

The WWE let go of Teri Runnels and Mark Jindraik. Not surprised.

FlashBack!
In wrestling, it's not a matter of if you will get hurt, but when, how bad and will you ever be able to work again. There are some moments that are terrifying, though they don't result in serious injuries. One of these events happened in ECW in 1995. It was a match between cult undercard favorite Hack Myers and JT Smith.

Hack, the Shah of ECW, was on offense, until he got thrown out of the ring. JT then decided to launch himself out of the ring to the outside over the top rope. He had it started well, but didn't quite get enough lift to clear the top completely. I believe it was his knee pad that caught the top and sent him down face first. He contacted the floor with the top of his forehead first.

This was not good.

I can remember hearing the crowd gasp when he hit, figuring he had been crippled or worse. When he rolled over you could tell that he was hurt, and that he had a bump forming. He rolled onto his stomach and Hack picked him up after a few seconds and you could see it. It was huge. A bump the likes of which legends are made around. It was easily the size of an Easter egg, and just about as colorful. It swelled so large, it caused his eye to shut. He looked like he had gone twelve rounds in a heavyweight fight with the champ who decided to work just that exact portion of his face.

Every time I rewatched that moment, and I watched it a ton of times, it got more and more disturbing. JT had a concussion, but nothing more serious. He had another brush with death a year or so earlier when he was almost broken in half trying to catch Mike Awesome. JT has done some indies, but not too many in the recent years. His last run was in ECW as a member of the original Full Blooded Italians.

That's all for Tuesday. If you're a film fan, be sure to check out my reviews of the Sonoma Valley Film Festival. 'til Friday.

Chris Garcia