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Falls
Count Anywhere
04-02-07
Welcome
to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I stayed sober
through an entire WrestleMania!
WrestleMania
It's the Big One. There's no other way to think about WrestleMania.
Since 2000 or so, WrestleMania has gone from being a big show
to being a Big Event. When the WWE realized that Mania had
such a glow around it, they started making it bigger and bigger,
including reintroducing the Hall of Fame as a part of a big
weekend. The shows themselves became bigger and more emphasis
was put into building them up.
This show
was the best built Mania in years. They had every show adding
to the push and that increased the value of the final product.
Oh yeah,
the final product, Mania itself, was just about golden.
We opened
with the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. King Booker came
out and did a little sashay that was very cute. We had Jeff
and Matt Hardy, Randy Orton, Edge, Finlay (who has a fondness
for fighting, says Jordan Rosa), Mr. Kennedy and CM Punk.
The match was exactly what you'd expect, a massive rush of
huge spots including ladders. The match started fast and Finlay
actually did a dive off of the top rope onto six guys on the
outside. That's a 48 year old guy flying through the air.
He really must love to fight.
Some comedy
early as Booker pulled a ladder from beneath the ring and
it turned out to be a step stool. Funny it was until it got
used as a weapon. It ended up getting thrown at Punk's head,
cutting him open. Finlay was bleeding from the top of his
head, too, by the time it was over.
The biggest
spot of the match was Edge getting laid on a ladder that was
bridging the ring apron and the retaining wall. Jeff Hardy
then came off the ladder onto Edge, causing them both to be
carried off. That was awesome and everyone just about died.
There was more, including Kennedy trying for a Kenton and
hitting his head on the ladder. The Little Bastard Hornswaggle
was about to climb the ladder for Finlay since he was so hurt,
but Kennedy met him up top. Hornswaggle slapped Kennedy twice
and then Kennedy gave the midget the SteamRoller off of the
Ladder. Wow! That was awesome.
Finlay
then gave Matt Hardy the Celtic Cross onto a ladder. Kennedy
and Punk fought to get the case, and Punk knocked Kennedy
off of the ladder, but Kennedy hit Punk with another ladder,
allowing him to get the case and win the match. Kennedy! The
crowd actually picked up big when The Little Bastard came
into play.
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"Come
on, make me look GOOD!"
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Kane and
Khali had a match. It was slow, but Khali actually allowed
himself to be slammed. Khali won with a two-handed slam, which
would have been a great transition move, but instead it was
the finish. Terrible.
They had Eugene and Cryme
Tyme hanging out and Tyme lead Eugene to Extreme Exposure.
Eugene would have nothing of it until Moolah and Mae Young
came out dressed in the exact same fashion. That led to the
return of Slick.
That's
right, the Jive Soul Bro returned and danced with them. Sgt.
Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Pat Patterson, Irwin R. Shyster,
Gerald Briscoe, The Fink, and Mean Gene were all there dancing.
Ricky Steamboat then came out and struck his karate pose before
getting in on the dancing. It was a fun skit, actually.
Chris
Benoit beat MVP in a match that showed me that MVP's not all
bad. The two of them worked hard and this would have been
a really good regular TV match, though it was lessened a bit
by the fact that Mania had so much great stuff going on.
It wasn't
very long, and they'd been doing long matches on house shows,
but MVP hung with Benoit. He didn't take the Germans with
as much gusto as a Randy Orton, but he still held his own.
Benoit actually won with the Flying Headbutt! Solid match,
though it also shows how far down the ladder Benoit has moved.
They showed
clips from the Hall of Fame. I watched the show on Sunday
morning and it was touching when Perfect came in. The class
of 2007 was The Wild Samoans, Nick Bockwinkel, The Sheik,
Mr. Fuji, JR, Jerry The King Lawler, Curt Hennig and Dusty
Rhodes. It was a good class and everyone got a nice ovation.
Undertaker
and Batista represents the point where the first DVD will
end. It was a really good big man match. Undertaker always
brings it big to the Manias and Batista worked with some of
the fire he had during the feud with HHH. By the way, no H
on the show at all. That's a shame. They worked faster than
you'd expect and didn't miss moves. Undertaker did a running
dive over the top rope onto Batista on the outside. Every
year he gets closer and closer to the ropes on that dive.
He's in his 40s so he can't do that dive forever!
It ended
up with Batista taking the Tombstone to keep UT's record at
WrestleMania intact. Really good match and a strong argument
could be made that it was the match of the night. Good crowd
heat, especially towards the end.
The ECW
match was up next and the crowd was quiet. Von Cor needs to
get off of ECW and onto RAW. The guy's got talent and he's
being dragged down. Elijah Burke is good. Ariel is hot. RVD
won the match. Not much to it, but entertaining wrestling
while it lasted.
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Because
you can't shave a toupee.
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The Haircut
Match was next. Trump came out to some good heat. So did Vince.
The match went long and was OK, but coming off a match like
UT-Batista, you kinda wanted more. The story was Trump though.
He tackled Vince at one point and throw terrible looking ground
punches. Shane came out. He then gave Lashley the Cross-Country
Van Terminator onto the trash can. That was awesome! Austin
got bumped a couple of times and in the end, it was Lashley
hitting a spear after Austin gave Umaga a Stunner. Good heat
most of the way. Trump and Lashley shaved Vince. Austin gave
Trump a Stunner after the haircut. Nice touch.
Melina
and Ashley had their LumberJills match. It was terrible, but
at least we got Trinity to appear. She's really hot and I'm
hoping we see more of her. Melina retained, which means they
probably understand that she's got a real future, even if
she is trouble backstage.
Drama.
That's what makes wrestling so great. The Main Event is designed
for drama, always has been. It's why you never put a comedy
match on last. At least you shouldn't. Shawn Michaels, more
than anyone else in the WWE with the possible exception of
Triple H, understands not only how to heighten drama, but
how to use drama to replace the more painful and difficult
parts of a wrestling match. John Cena, for all his short-comings,
also gets the drama idea. He's not a great worker, but he
knows what to do to make a match seem important. He understands
that the face tells the story, that taking a little extra
time to sell can help a match, that giving away big spots
can make the small ones that much more impressive.
These
two had a hell of a match. The way that Michaels played heel
still didn't keep him from being the favorite of the crowd.
They booed Cena loudly, though they seemed OK with the finish.
These big crowds tend to drown out the kids and women who
love Cena. Michaels worked heel, but modern-style heel where
you can see he's really a face just trying to win a big match.
It's a kind of Main Event heeling that's forgotten.
The highlights
were the guys trading finishing moves and kicking out, but
the visual highlight was Michaels giving Cena the Piledriver
on the Steps. Cena bladed the top of his head. Shawn was bleeding
early. The blood, though there wasn't a lot of it, actually
added to the match. The flow of the match, the way that Michaels
did every little thing right, the constant FU escapes and
more made the match. Yeah, it wasn't an all-time classic,
but it was as good if not slightly better than the Cena match
with HHH last year. Cena won with the STFU. Great stuff.
Over all,
WrestleMania was better than the sum of its parts, and those
individual parts were really good too. I'd say this Mania
was better than most of the early Manias, but behind classics
like III, X, X-7, and 21, and probably even a step behind
last year's, though it will be better remembered due to Trump's
appearance. This one will get a lot of rewatching, mostly
for the ladder match and the Undertaker match. This was a
good one and you could see that next year we're getting Cena-Undertaker
as the Main Event, which should be a big deal.
That's
all for today. More on Thursday!
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about today's column in the forums!
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