Falls Count Anywhere

03-26-04

That's not true. It could be only mediocre but with a hot chick in it for me to go for it.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and it's got to be really good for me to go for it.

SmackDown!
HHH's music played, but Kurt Angle came out and announced that he had temporarily given up on wrestling and would be the new GM. He also announced that he had traded HHH for the Dudleys and Booker T. This is an awful way of making the swerve. Either go through with it, or don't do it. Booker T said that he was unhappy with the trade and that the show was the minor league.

RVD took on Charlie Haas in a match that I really enjoyed. If there were more matches like this in wrestling, the injury rate would be way down. RVD worked a pretty clean match, and the extended segment they did with RVD tied up in the ropes was excellent. The finish, with RVD getting a cradle for the pin, was a nice touch, as every match doesn't need to end with a finishing maneuver.

Billy Kidman took on The French Phenom Rene Dupree. It was a match that did nothing really wrong, that had flow and that showed off the upside of Dupree. I really think that this he is going to give us some good matches. Billy Kidman hit a back leaping back elbow for two. Nice Powerslam by Dupree, too. He did a very tired looking Michinoku Driver for the pin, but up to then he was really good.

After that match, John Cena came out to rip a few zingers off at Guerrero, Rikishi, Big Show, and Michael Cole. He was funny, but the crowd wasn't into it until he started ripping on Dupree for being French, and therefore, Gay. The danger with Cena is that if his schtick gets old, he may be lost. He wasn't terribly over with this one, but that may have been more an issue of crowd micing.

They did a review of Paul Heyman's bad week and then went into Teddy Long talking with Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty about perhaps managing them. I love Teddy Long, but they should give him to a real star, like Booker T.

Smackdown? What's next -- a guest shot on Jake 2.0?

Eddy Guerrero went through the locker room, talking to all the new guys and giving them personalized greetings. Then he got to Booker T, who referred to SmackDown! as the minor leagues. They brawled a bit, setting up their coming match. That was a quick turn for the Book.

The Dudleys took on The Bashems. Well, the Dudleys got a fairly good reaction, and they worked really hard. My guess is that they are going to be booking a fairly smart tag team division in the coming months. Danny Bashem gave D-Von a really nice back suplex. The Bashems could be great if they got a good manager and a real push. The Dudleys ended up winning a solid match with the 3D. This was a non-spectacular match, but everyone worked really hard.

Booker T came to talk to Kurt about getting his shot at the title that night. Kurt played the role of commissioner very well. He's learned well from all the other GMs.

Spike Dudley took on Chavo Jr. in a match with the Dudley Bros on the outside backing their little brother. It was a hard hitting and well done match. Spike went for the Dudley Dog, but Chavo tossed him over the top to the floor. Spike is a great fit with guys like Chavo and Rey, as he has a brawling flying style that really works. He is sort of the highest operating Indy Wrestler in the world. The crowd got into a near fall by Spike after a double foot stomp off the top rope. The crowd got into it as time went on. Chavo worked at his normal level, but Spike went above and beyond. Chavo won with his over the shoulder backbreaker. Good stuff from these two.

They reviewed the Bradshaw/Farooq situation. Bradshaw, who is being groomed for the main event against Eddy Guerrero at the next SD! PPV, debuted his new financial analyst gimmick. He looked good in his hat, but they introduced him as John Bradshaw Leyfield, which is pretty close to his real name. He referred to Farooq as Ron Simmons. He worked heel on the mic, as was evidenced by his referencing Prince Machiavella (Yeah, that's what he said) and he said that people like him run governments. He wasn't bad at the talking, but the crowd failed to connect. It went a little too long, but they are trying to push him hard so they can have a new heel on the show. Not a great choice.

Booker T took on Eddy Guerrero. Booker got a decent reaction coming out, and Eddy's was even better. He is really being built to the level of a hot champion. The match was about what I thought it would be: good the whole way through. Eddy and Booker both seem to have the same ethic, as they work hard and use smart moves as opposed to really risky spots. Booker got an OK heel response, but if they are planning on pushing him as a heel, they better get him far more over. I liked the match quite a bit. Bradshaw came in and beat on Eddy Guerrero after he hit the Frog Splash. They are really hoping that they can get Bradshaw over, but I don't know.

SmackDown! was good, but far from great. We were expecting HHH, but instead got the trade that didn't really help matters. I am of the opinion that this will turn things towards RAW as the dominant brand, even if Eddy is a better champion.

NEWS
Not too much. Kurt getting the GM spot was the way they decided to address him needing time off. They are currently looking at Angle being a part time worker for big shows. That could help extend his career a few years, but it looks like he'll be wrestling less and less as time goes by. There was a line during the WrestleMania special where Kurt Angle said that he couldn't get through the day without pain killers due to all the neck injuries. That's a dark fact of the sport today.

FlashBack!
"You're a Jive Soul Bro, a Jive Soul Bro, and you'll always lying to your friends. You're a Jive Soul Bro, a Jive Soul Bro and you never get nothin' in the end."
Slick, Jive Soul Bro off of Piledriver: The Wrestling Album II.

The one thing that the WWF didn't quite understand was how to treat ethnic characters who weren't top babyfaces. Slick is perhaps the proof of this fact. On the Piledriver video, he intros his segment while eating Fried Chicken at a KFC. He talked in a strange version of ebonics and eventually he finished the segment by saying that he couldn't pay for the chicken. Talk about sensitivity.

Ladies and gentlemen, Slick...

And even with all of this, he still has the second best song on the album.

That's right, Slick, a manager of wrestlers including the Natural Butch Reed, One Man Gang and The Big Boss Man, has the second best song on the album, at least looking back through the eyes of today.

It is an old school beat that reminded me of the Sugar Hill Gang. There are some very great lyrics, and Slick delivered them with a twinge of Atlanta in his voice. 'Well, they thought this dude might learn a lesson, but I didn't learn a thing at all. Late last night I was out there messin' with a lady that was seven feet tall!'

Tell me that's not poetry. It actually works as a song, not just as a wrestling theme. I've introduced folks to this one and they all seem to say the same thing: 'I don't remember this guy. Was he in Run DMC?'

It's really good stuff

That's all for this week. Later: more.

Chris Garcia